# Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night - Elect the Dark Queen! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 31, 2001, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557 "2001-01-31T14:26:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2001, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/21 "2001-01-31T22:26:20Z")
Oh what a (im)moral quandary! I have to cast my vote for **Anthracite**. She has borne her title well. Plus, she made me an Indian seer and mentioned my breasts in the Horror at Cecil Cove. How can I not vote for her? **andygirl** kicks ass and takes names… my vote for Una is in no way a slight against her. Plus, I think **fierra** makes for a more intimidating Dark Consort than **quietgirldownthehall**. The name doesn’t exactly strike icy fear into the heart of mere mortals. Not that she’s not dark and consortly, or something. So mote it be, so let it be done. ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/22 "2001-02-01T00:12:20Z")
Anthacite!!! How could I not? It seems unthinkable. Dark, sexy Queen of the night, long may you reign. ---
**Author:** ![Alatariel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Alatariel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alatariel)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/23 "2001-02-01T00:23:55Z")
On the other hand, perhaps the bloodshed can be averted whilst achieving a more integrated Army of the Night. Look, out in the darkness…the zombies, the ghouls, the ghosts, the monsters under the bed…they mill, unorganized. They should be brought under the one, true banner. Given her writing talents, the Dark Princess could recruit these minions, (build her power base further), and create a new, powerful, title: General. Nah. Generatrix? Combines several nice elements… a general/dominatrix…a general dominatrix…a title that could fool the newer minions until they learn there are no refunds when you sell your souls to the Darkness! _running away_ ---
**Author:** ![quietgirldownthehall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/839c29/32.png) [@quietgirldownthehall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quietgirldownthehall)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/24 "2001-02-01T00:35:34Z")
I am sorry to do this to you honey, but as your girlfriend I must vote Anthracite… until you promises to get more sleep[sub]- but of course as your dark consort I remind you that the element of surprise will add more of a thrill to the take over. The time will come… :)[/sub]\*\* ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/25 "2001-02-01T00:40:24Z")
That’s it. Nobody loves me. \ Soon… soon, do you hear me? I’ll show you all! ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/26 "2001-02-01T01:00:10Z")
Nobody loves you? Nobody?? Hrmph. I’ll take my vote and go home then. Sheesh. ::walks off muttering about how this is why she dates men:: ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/27 "2001-02-01T01:02:31Z")
But you’re not Nobody, Nym! You’re somebody! \ ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/28 "2001-02-01T01:42:10Z")
I feel compelled to share the following quote from quietgirl. * * * ## Your throat aches for me? Well my big toe is lamenting also. Perhaps I’m not such the romantic I thought I was. ---
**Author:** ![AquaPura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AquaPura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AquaPura)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/29 "2001-02-01T01:52:43Z")
Long have I wanted to join such a truly dark organization as the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night. If I am drafted to this unholy cause I shall throw all my support to you my truly evil queen! Please make me one of your minions! I have qualifications!!! In highschool I was the captain of the Chess team. All but one of my team were boys and they all worshiped me, but could not have me. I was nicknamed… dah dah dum! the Black Queen!. My favorite way to win against opposing teams was to wear a very low dipping, cleavage showing, shirt to distract the boy I was playing on the opposing team. And, to make the effect better, I decreed that on game days the team would either wear black entirely, or camoflage. Does this please my queen? May I join the ranks your Unholy Darkness? ---
**Author:** ![quietgirldownthehall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/839c29/32.png) [@quietgirldownthehall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quietgirldownthehall)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/30 "2001-02-01T02:09:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > \*\*Perhaps I’m not such the romantic I thought I was. \*\* No darling, You are ever-so romantic. Though you have these moments of shining brillance [sub](I’m going to call it the Dartmouth influence \)[/sub]\*\* in which you slip into a language in which I feel compelled to match. I felt that by using my big toe as a term of endearment, I was living up to the Dartmouth standard. (No offense to anyone else) This is one of the reasons I voted against putting you into power as the Dark Queen. You would never hear of Antracite portraying her love through her aching esophagus, vocal cord, or blood vessels. (I haven’t at least) ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/31 "2001-02-01T02:21:01Z")
_throws his necromantic talents (not to mention PR skills (way scarier)) behind andygirl_ Why? a) Well, I think undead armies should be defined by constant uprising, politicaql uncertainty and backstabbing by their very nature b) as an Aussie we nearly always cheer for the underdog c) she’s pretty damn cool d) being a right hand person has extra benefits esp. when we succeed e) I’ve got all these devious plans and nothign to use them on. An undead coup will be a good outlet. Havign said that I agree with the psuedo-traitor Quietgirl: get more sleep andy!!! I can hold them at bay while you refresh. _turns to some Anth zombies and casually asks “hey did you guys hear that Queen Anthracite is planning to introduce compulsory stop-and-smell-the-lovely-flower breaks? And her new insignia is going to be a cute fuzzy wuzzy bunny… or so I hear.”_ ```auto 1991: The USSR officially ends as does apartheid in SA, Gulf war begins asIraq ignores Jan 15 deadline - Desert Storm, dpr returns to Australia to discover everyone watching two new TV shows called Twin Peaks and The Simpsons ``` ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/32 "2001-02-01T04:05:57Z")
My vote goes to the reigning Queen… **Anthracite**! (Sorry, **andy**.) ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/33 "2001-02-01T04:49:28Z")
If I had a vote, I’d vote for **andygirl** because she said she liked me, in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=57366). I know that voting for someone on these grounds must be an obvious indication of poor self-esteem. \ But hey! Since when did being head vampire come down to a vote? Has there ever been a vampire movie where the final scene occurred on Election Night? Surely there’s got to be something involving silver bullets, stakes through the heart, that big whup-ass sword Buffy wielded on the only episode I’ve ever seen of _BtVS_. Voting just seems a little too clean. OK, OK, I know the last presidential election was between a couple of undead guys. But _still_… ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/34 "2001-02-01T05:20:19Z")
Anthracite, of course. Don’t be ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ccd318/32.png) [@John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Kentzel-Griffin)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2001, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/35 "2001-02-01T05:45:14Z")
I’ll have to go with **Cajun Man** , and vote for **Anthracite**. Of course, if **andygirl** can come up with a better bribe than nubile virgins… ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/36 "2001-02-02T08:04:13Z")
I’m voting for **Rasa**. I wanna be an evil lesbian consort. And she’s kinda a lesbian. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/37 "2001-02-02T08:18:49Z")
:eek: ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557/38 "2001-02-02T15:33:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\*Which, I have been told, involves the Dark Queen being kidnapped, enslaved, and put at the mercy of the entire Unholy Lesbian Vampire Sorority at Dartmouth…sigh. \*\* Sigh, indeed!! I cast my vote to Anthracite, and offer myself as a body double. If anyone needs to be kidnapped and enslaved by the Dartmouth ULVS, I’m your man! Er… that **was** to be their love slave, right? 😉 And Anthracite, I’m sure that, while I’m not an **exact** body double for you, we can still pull the wool over the eyes of the ULVS. :rolleyes:😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unholy-lesbian-vampire-army-of-the-night-elect-the-dark-queen/52557.md?page=1)