# Unintentionally amusing nude scenes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 15, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169 "2004-04-15T14:48:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/41 "2004-04-17T14:45:53Z")
> [@Granuaile](#): > > Hey **Lamia** , thanks for the tip on **The Magnificent Ambersons**. > Rhys-Meyers bootie? I’ll be adding that to my Netflix queue. 😃 Eh, you’d be better off going with _The Governess_, which concludes with Rhys-Meyers rolling around naked in the surf to symbolize…uh…freedom, I think…or…uh…the fact that they had a hot young actor in the cast who was willing to do full nudity. (Prior to _Bend it Like Beckham_, I think Rhys-Meyers was in some danger of being typecast as “the attractive deviant in period pieces who occasionally takes his pants off.”) _The Magnificent Ambersons_ was made for basic cable and thus couldn’t show more than a brief flash o’ bootie. That’s part of what made the whole thing so funny to my mind – it hardly seems worth it to shoehorn in a gratuitous and nonsensical shower scene if you can’t even show much skin! ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/42 "2004-04-17T16:02:55Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > I’m going to have to go with _American Psycho_. Christian Bale, covered in blood and naked except for tennis shoes, running with a chainsaw. I couldn’t help it. Damn, the man is hot, but tennis shoes and a chainsaw? I couldn’t stop laughing. I do believe that’s supposed to be comic. Also, note the way he’s holding his chainsaw. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/43 "2004-04-17T19:13:48Z")
The first thing I thought of was Madonna and whoever it was having ‘hot’ sex on the hood of a car - which was covered in broken glass. Oh yeah, baby! That’s all I can remember about that movie, because the process of excising it completely from my brain is not quite complete. Then there was David Cronenberg’s “Crash”, which was just jaw-droppingly insane. Not particular funny, just a lot of, “What the HELL is that?” ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/44 "2004-04-18T01:33:07Z")
Britt Ekland’s nude dance/singing scene in [_The Wicker Man_](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070917/). Nudity: Good. Singing: A little out of place, but not bad. Unexpected “Body Percussion”:… :eek: 😕😃 For those of you who didn’t see the movie…our miss Ekland finishes up her musical number by rhythmically slapping herself, then the door she’s leaning against. In time to the music. (And aside from this one scene, the movie isn’t a musical.) I couldn’t make that up if I tried. Oddly enough, I seem to remember that it was a body double who they filmed doing the butt/door slapping bit. Add to that the fact that Ekland’s voice was _dubbed over_ for the entire film. I think that leaves us with a _Meta_-double shot. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/45 "2004-04-18T01:51:14Z")
Where’s the giggles for **Pretty Woman**? I was pretty young at the time it came out but even I spotted the ‘switch to the body double’ moment at least twice. Sheesh that was bad. Few people here have seen **Crying Freeman** I’ll bet but one scene where they are hunting Freeman down the female mob boss whips off her shirt for no reason and goes after him…huh? I guess she was trying to distract him with her impressive rack. ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/46 "2004-04-18T03:58:38Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Britt Ekland’s nude dance/singing scene in [_The Wicker Man_](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070917/). > > Nudity: Good. > > Singing: A little out of place, but not bad. > > Unexpected “Body Percussion”:… :eek: 😕😃 For those of you who didn’t see the movie…our miss Ekland finishes up her musical number by rhythmically slapping herself, then the door she’s leaning against. In time to the music. (And aside from this one scene, the movie isn’t a musical.) Ha ha ha, I saw this for the first time the other day and nearly wet myself at this scene. I can’t really think of any others as this was my nominations so i’ll duck out quietly. Oh, just to add that I agree **Gadfly** about American Psycho, isn’t the whole thing a very black comedy or do I just have a sick sense of humour? ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/47 "2004-04-18T05:57:39Z")
Saturn 3: To quote the eFilm critic – “KIRK Douglas bares his bony butt” It’s essentially Alien with a sex-crazed robot - DVD Review Don’t be fooled by the credits. Distinguished stars, director, cameraman, editor, composer conspired together to film a turkey of a script – Film Review The camera enjoys lingering on her [Farah Fawcett] naked and scantily-clothed body (and, more disturbingly, Douglas’ too) – Grim Reaper’s Movie Guide And it goes on. No matter what age you are, wrestling nekkid with a killer sex crazed robot — no matter how much sense it makes in context – just isn’t flattering. If you are over 40 – it is downright demeaning. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/48 "2004-04-18T06:56:40Z")
> [@ddgryphon](#): > > Saturn 3: > And it goes on. No matter what age you are, wrestling nekkid with a killer sex crazed robot — no matter how much sense it makes in context – just isn’t flattering. If you are over 40 – it is downright demeaning. To be fair, wrestling fully clothed with a killer sex crazed robot is kinda demeaning too. I mean, you KNOW you’re in a turkey when that scene occurs. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/49 "2004-04-18T07:15:54Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > The first thing I thought of was Madonna and whoever it was having ‘hot’ sex on the hood of a car - which was covered in broken glass. Oh yeah, baby! I’d forgotten about various Madonna movies, probably because they date back to my ex and his unaccountable penchant for cheesy, late-night cable offerings. One, title mercifully forgotten, featured the Material Girl slithering around naked–ad nauseum–but with a _candle_. No, not for obvious phallic purposes, but for hot wax purposes. Frankly, by that time her nudity had about as much erotic punch as a department store mannequin: pale, slender, generic by over exposure. I mainly remember her crawling buck-ass nekkid up her lover’s body, working toward…her ridiculous anti-climax, _dripping the hot wax_. Even then her patently fake, camera-aware kinkyness seemed like poor kin to a Pier One commercial. BTW, I misspoke. Swinging male packages are more aptly characterized ad “whupeta, whumpeta, fwap, bobble.” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/50 "2004-04-18T07:17:58Z")
**Blue Lagoon** - when Brooke Shields nurses her baby, the double had skin about three shades darker and boobs about 20 years older than Brooke’s. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/51 "2004-04-18T09:57:38Z")
All this mention of Michael Douglas has drudged up a memory I thought I’d successfully repressed: seeing one of the _Romancing the Stone_ movies, with a big, painfully slow panning shot of him and Kathleen Turner in bed, both buck naked. I had a schoolboy crush on Turner at the time, and was very distressed to see so much screen time devoted to Michael Douglas’ bony naked ass. ::shudder:: It ruined the rest of the movie for me, because I just kept thinking, “Don’t Hollywood movies have some kind of dailies process, where they see the film coming in before they release it for distribution? Haven’t there been a long line of people who’ve seen this scene and can recognize it for the horror that it truly is?” ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/52 "2004-04-18T11:31:20Z")
> [@ddgryphon](#): > > … > And it goes on. No matter what age you are, wrestling nekkid with a killer **sex crazed robot** — no matter how much sense it makes in context – just isn’t flattering. If you are over 40 – it is downright demeaning. Paris Hilton was in that movie? ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/53 "2004-04-18T16:53:08Z")
> [@TVeblen](#): > > I’d forgotten about various Madonna movies, probably because they date back to my ex and his unaccountable penchant for cheesy, late-night cable offerings. > One, title mercifully forgotten, featured the Material Girl slithering around naked–ad nauseum–but with a _candle_. That would be _Body Of Evidence_. In another Madonna movie, _Dangerous Game_, the director purposefully chose the fattest, ugliest, most unwashed crew member to simulate sex with her. It’s so macabre, it’s funny: Madonna with her perfect bod and milky skin getting fondled and humped from behind by a guy who resembles [[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001967/](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001967/)]Peter]( [url) Boyle. There is also a scene that is supposed to be Hot Lesbian Action, but is just M kissing some anonymous chick’s leg. Laughably lame. [sup]There is a theory that the purpose of making that movie was just an exercise in “breaking” Madonna, which I find very compelling, but that’s for another thread[/sup]. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/54 "2004-04-19T20:27:27Z")
Both **Sam Stone** and **TVeblen** are talking about the great cinematic stinker _Body of Evidence_, and the poor schmuck who gets both the hot wax and the shattered glass sex is Willem Dafoe. It’s the sort of movie that manages to make gratuitous nudity un-sexy. ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/55 "2004-04-20T02:46:33Z")
What, no mention of _[The Thomas Crown Affair](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0155267/)_, where Rene Russo just kept turning up gratuitously naked? It seemed that every time I turned around the woman was shirtless and braless. My friends and I in the (empty – midnight showing) theater just kept screaming “NAKED TIME” every time it happened. That particular film also featured the most obvious product placement I’d ever seen, for Pepsi. Rene and someone were chatting in an office, and she picked up a Pepsi can. Suddenly the camera switched to a shot of her head and upper body, more or less filling the frame, with the Pepsi can to her lips. The can was of course rotated and centered perfectly in her hand to expose the logo, and she was holding her fingers carefully so as not to obscure any part of it. As soon as she pulled the can away, it cut back to the prior two-shot. ---
**Author:** ![syncrolecyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@syncrolecyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/syncrolecyne)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/56 "2004-04-20T03:09:57Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > It ruined the rest of the movie for me, because I just kept thinking, “Don’t Hollywood movies have some kind of dailies process, where they see the film coming in before they release it for distribution? Haven’t there been a long line of people who’ve seen this scene and can recognize it for the horror that it truly is?” A few years ago, Kevin Costner had a film called _For The Love of the Game_. The original had a shower scene where a nude Costner appeared - and his penis was visible. They test screened it in Phoenix and the audience supposedly erupted with laughter, so the scene was cut - causing an indignant Kevin Costner to disown the “artistically compromised” production. ---
**Author:** ![Spoonbender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spoonbender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoonbender)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/57 "2004-04-20T04:16:35Z")
In _21 Grams_ there was this extended close-up of Naomi Watts’ improbably erect nipple, not that I’ve got anything against erect nipples in general, but the shot seemed gratuitous. ---
**Author:** ![AveDementia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@AveDementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AveDementia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/58 "2004-04-20T10:08:41Z")
> [@Bambi Hassenpfeffer](#): > > What, no mention of _[The Thomas Crown Affair](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0155267/)_, where Rene Russo just kept turning up gratuitously naked? It seemed that every time I turned around the woman was shirtless and braless. My friends and I in the (empty – midnight showing) theater just kept screaming “NAKED TIME” every time it happened. > > That particular film also featured the most obvious product placement I’d ever seen, for Pepsi. Rene and someone were chatting in an office, and she picked up a Pepsi can. Suddenly the camera switched to a shot of her head and upper body, more or less filling the frame, with the Pepsi can to her lips. The can was of course rotated and centered perfectly in her hand to expose the logo, and she was holding her fingers carefully so as not to obscure any part of it. As soon as she pulled the can away, it cut back to the prior two-shot. I’ve heard other people complain about that, not just because of the stupidity of the product placement, but because it directly contradicts a previous scene where shes talking about how she drinnks nothing but wheat grass juice (or some other health nut stuff). I’ve never actually checked though, I don’t want to sit through that movie again. Two hours with Renes bloated ego was enough. In fact I was pretty sure that the police station scenes were the first ones shot for the movie because she was more puffed up in those scenes than any other ones in the film. Oh yah, and sex on the stairs? Way to be all edgy and stuff. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/59 "2004-04-20T13:27:37Z")
Recently caught a Skinamax film called “Island Rhythms” that features consistently underlit scenes – so much so, that in a couple of scenes, all you’re looking at are shifting blobs of black, dark gray and dark brown. I have no idea what sort of sex acts were going on in those scenes, I just know from the music and so forth that there was something going on. I’m pretty sure this was one of those, “Let’s go to a tropical island, snort a ton of coke, and take some videos we can get some poor schlub to edit into a movie when we get back.” ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169/60 "2004-04-20T15:01:45Z")
for fans of Birtish soap operas, the following names will dredge up scary, scary memories. Frank and Pat Butcher from Eastenders. Ken and deirdre Barlow form Corrie. not nudity persay, but their love scenes were the scariest things I have ever seen. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-amusing-nude-scenes/240169.md?page=4)