# Unintentionally eavesdropping on my son: he asks God for superpowers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 15, 2008, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571 "2008-01-15T04:02:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/1 "2008-01-15T04:02:21Z")
OK, to set the stage, I’m an atheist. My wife is Roman Catholic and that’s how the 2 kids are being schooled and raised. (With my complete agreement.) So, a couple of nights ago as I’m putting the kids to bed and checking on them, my 8 year old son is found peering out the curtains pleading with God to grant him superpowers. Well, I certainly had a hard time keeping my smirks and guffaws to myself, but managed. He turned around shortly thereafter and was mortified that I’d heard him. In fact he was so embarrassed that he cried. We calmed him down though. Man, at his age I wished I was Batman! In fact I taught myself to sew because I was adamant that I could turn old cloth into Batman masks if I kept at it. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree I suppose. So, who else had superpower aspirations as a kid? ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/2 "2008-01-15T04:55:03Z")
Cute story. I’m still waiting to hit that right pond of toxic waste that gives me super powers and no cancer. Note that Batman doesn’t have superpowers, so there’s no need to pray to become him. Clearly Batman made you an atheist. Does Bill O’Reilly know? ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/3 "2008-01-15T05:08:06Z")
That was my test for a god when I was a kid. I threatened that I would be an atheist if I was not granted my superpowers. I’ve been an atheist ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/4 "2008-01-15T05:51:32Z")
[QUOTE=Leaffan] So, who else had superpower aspirations as a kid? [/QUOTE] Not me. I wanted to be a spy. Did you find out if your kid had any particular super powers in mind or was he willing to settle for anything God handed him? ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/5 "2008-01-15T05:56:13Z")
I still sometimes drift off to sleep at night imagining what it would be like if I could turn invisible, and fly. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/6 "2008-01-15T06:05:25Z")
[QUOTE=Tikki] Not me. I wanted to be a spy. Did you find out if your kid had any particular super powers in mind or was he willing to settle for anything God handed him? [/QUOTE] Didn’t pursue it. I think he would have settled for anything that made him outstandingly different than his peers: fast, strong, flight, X-ray vision. The standard, ya’ know. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/7 "2008-01-15T06:34:56Z")
_wisely does not mention possessing her own superpowers_ ---
**Author:** ![VanillaGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f9ae1b/32.png) [@VanillaGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VanillaGorilla)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/8 "2008-01-15T07:18:27Z")
[QUOTE=Tikki] Not me. I wanted to be a spy. Did you find out if your kid had any particular super powers in mind or was he willing to settle for anything God handed him? [/QUOTE] I hope he was specific, seeing as God’s idea of superpowers seems to be to be able to turn water into wine, and stone into bread. NOT very cool superpowers! ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/9 "2008-01-15T08:35:06Z")
[QUOTE=Etumretniw] I hope he was specific, seeing as God’s idea of superpowers seems to be to be able to turn water into wine, and stone into bread. NOT very cool superpowers! [/QUOTE] Hey, when he grows up, the water into wine thing would be really cool. I mean, I guess it would suck if you could only make table wine, but it would be pretty awesome to bust out a nice Chateau Neuf du Pape whenever you felt like it. And hey, you could even pick up some seltzer water and have Moet and Chandon. “OK son, time to practice honing your powers. Last one tasted like a freaking Earnest Gallo. You better get me a Bordeaux or I’m putting you up for adoption.” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/10 "2008-01-15T08:49:02Z")
[QUOTE=Etumretniw] I hope he was specific, seeing as God’s idea of superpowers seems to be to be able to turn water into wine, and stone into bread. NOT very cool superpowers! [/QUOTE] Nitpick: Turning water into wine and _refusing_ to turn stone into bread. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/11 "2008-01-15T08:58:16Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Nitpick: Turning water into wine and _refusing_ to turn stone into bread. [/QUOTE] Withering fig trees comes in handy, too 😉 Si ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/12 "2008-01-15T15:08:20Z")
I was always hoping to be maimed in some sort of horrible accident. I was sure I’d be fitted with all the latest bionic accoutrements. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/13 "2008-01-15T15:16:17Z")
I accidentally ate some moldy food the other day…my daughter told me it’s just a matter of time before my superpower reveals itself as a result. I’m really hoping forone that’ll make me some money! ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/14 "2008-01-15T15:16:40Z")
I wanted invisibility and the ability to fly, no silly cape needed… still waiting. I don’t recall asking God for that, though–I think I vaguely had the notion that the two managed different departments, so to speak. I think I wished, at every fountain or body of water with a penny. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/15 "2008-01-15T15:17:20Z")
Awwww! Tell him he has the power to melt the hearts of faraway Internet strangers, and give them a strong desire to hug and squeeze him. On second thought, that probably won’t help, will it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/16 "2008-01-15T15:41:50Z")
I was Ray-Man. I could shoot a variety of rays out of the palms of my hands, heat rays, cold rays were the most prominent, but whatever the situation called for. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/17 "2008-01-15T15:50:15Z")
I _still_ pray for superpowers… ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/18 "2008-01-15T15:52:53Z")
[QUOTE=si\_blakely] Withering fig trees comes in handy, too 😉 Si [/QUOTE] Not to mention that whole raising the dead thing. You could have a zombie army! ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/19 "2008-01-15T18:53:51Z")
Spiderman here. I actually had thought up a scheme to make myself a costume and use magnets in the hands and feet to climb up metal buildings. Luckily I never got around to it, but I routinely climbed WAY up in any climbable tree I could find. ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/20 "2008-01-15T19:39:33Z")
Well, I wanted to be Wonder Woman and grow up to marry Spiderman. I still absolutely _adore_ Spiderman, and may be in the minority in liking the films. They haven’t been on par with the ones in my head, but…well, I would never have cast Kirsten as MJ – she sucks as a redhead. Oh, sorry, I digress. My 8 year old is often asking Santa Claus (we’re areligious, so there’s really no “god” or “gods” to ask, but Santa brings the best gifts at xmas, so, go figure, right?) for things like Super Mario Brothers’ style Fire Flowers, Super Mushrooms, etc. He did get a [miniature super mushroom](http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/japanfan/9060/) in his stocking, along with a 1up Mushroom tin of mints. That rocked, even if it didn’t give him super powers, he still liked it. He does know that it’s all make-believe, but he loves to play make-believe & I encourage it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571.md?page=2)