# Unintentionally eavesdropping on my son: he asks God for superpowers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 15, 2008, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571 "2008-01-15T04:02:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/21 "2008-01-15T19:51:30Z")
Funny this should come up now, actually. As yet around round of colds and illness sweeps through the Briston household, I again stand untouched by its mucousy grasp. Also, I cut myself twice recently, and noticed that my cuts are healing at a much faster rate than they used to. The only logical conclusion I could make was that, lo after all these years, I’ve finally started developing superpowers. My wife, however, remains skeptical. I think she’s just worried that mind control powers are next on my personal evolution. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/22 "2008-01-15T19:58:35Z")
[QUOTE=Leaffan] OK, to set the stage, I’m an atheist. My wife is Roman Catholic and that’s how the 2 kids are being schooled and raised. (With my complete agreement.) [/QUOTE] I couldn’t get past this sentence - why would you want to do that to your children? Are you worried that they won’t be guilty enough in life or something? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/23 "2008-01-15T20:11:43Z")
A young boy walks past his mother’s room and sees her lying on her bed, rubbing her chest, and moaning “I need a man! I need a man!” He doesn’t think much about it, and continues on to his own room. The next day, the same thing happens. He walks past his mother’s room and sees her lying on her bed, rubbing her chest, and moaning “I need a man! I need a man!” The next day, he walks past, and sees his mother in her room with a man. He thinks about this for a minute, then walks into his own room, lays down, starts rubbing his chest, and moans “I need a bicycle! I need a bicycle!” ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/24 "2008-01-15T20:23:04Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] I couldn’t get past this sentence - why would you want to do that to your children? Are you worried that they won’t be guilty enough in life or something? [/QUOTE] I kinda stopped there too - “Mommy, is daddy going to hell?” ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/25 "2008-01-15T20:54:14Z")
I wanted to be a dinosaur. What? ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/26 "2008-01-15T20:57:45Z")
[QUOTE=si\_blakely] Withering fig trees comes in handy, too 😉 Si [/QUOTE] And the loaves and fishes bit. Of course people would get pretty tired of the refreshments you serve. "Gee, what a surprise. Filet O’Fish sandwiches and Thunderbird. That’s a real gourmet meal you made. :rolleyes: " I always wanted telepathy, precognition, telekinesis and mind control. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_in_second_hand_clothing)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/27 "2008-01-15T21:03:02Z")
With a few exceptions, mutants in the Marvel Universe would gain their powers around puberty. I held out hope, but when I was thirteen, all I got was acne. I barely even got facial hair, how are you going to be Wolverine without some serious stubble? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/28 "2008-01-15T21:13:59Z")
I was around five when I found out Santa Clause was just mom, and moody at that. Around that time it occurred to me God was about as likely to do something for me as Santa Clause. I still prayed once in awhile anyway. Can’t hurt just in case and all that. At that same age I was totally Batman. Had a towel fastened around my neck with a safety pin as my bat-cape and ran around constantly making the “nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, Batman!” theme. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/29 "2008-01-15T21:25:04Z")
[QUOTE=Grey area] I wanted to be a dinosaur. [/QUOTE] So did I. A stegosaurus to be precise. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/30 "2008-01-15T21:35:02Z")
[QUOTE=Leaffan] So, a couple of nights ago as I’m putting the kids to bed and checking on them, my 8 year old son is found peering out the curtains pleading with God to grant him superpowers. [/QUOTE] Hmmm…is he going to make an objective test of his possible powers, by flying out that window? If so, I hope it’s on the first floor! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/31 "2008-01-15T21:36:53Z")
BTW– **I** wanted to be POTUS. And then, I acquired morality, & didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/32 "2008-01-15T21:49:19Z")
BTW, at eight years old if you’d caught me praying out the window, is was definitely aliens I was praying to. I desperately wanted them to pick up my thoughts with their telepathy and come get me, or at least do something to reveal their existence. To me, God was always up, and it didn’t matter if I were indoors or outdoors or looking out a window. Those aliens though, i wanted to be sure they had a clear line of sight connection to my brain. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/33 "2008-01-15T22:14:10Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] At that same age I was totally Batman. Had a towel fastened around my neck with a safety pin as my bat-cape and ran around constantly making the “nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, Batman!” theme. [/QUOTE] My parents once drove across the US with me in the back seat going “NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA BATMAN” the entire way. I’m must have had invulnerability, since I’m alive today. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/34 "2008-01-15T22:15:26Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] My wife, however, remains skeptical. I think she’s just worried that mind control powers are next on my personal evolution. [/QUOTE] She should be worried that you’re pulling the wool over her eyes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2008, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/35 "2008-01-15T22:46:07Z")
[QUOTE=Attack from the 3rd dimension] My parents once drove across the US with me in the back seat going “NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA BATMAN” the entire way. I’m must have had invulnerability, since I’m alive today. [/QUOTE] Well naturally your family tried to kill you, but you were prepared. _They’re_ lucky to be alive. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/36 "2008-01-16T01:03:40Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] So did I. A stegosaurus to be precise. [/QUOTE] Pfft, plant-eater! ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/37 "2008-01-16T01:23:06Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] I couldn’t get past this sentence - why would you want to do that to your children? Are you worried that they won’t be guilty enough in life or something? [/QUOTE] Because a random and unprovoked attack on religion is exactly what every thread needs. :rolleyes: On a more topical note, I always wanted flight and invisibility, though I never went so far as to pray for them. Maybe that’s why I never developed any powers more impressive than belching on command. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/38 "2008-01-16T01:29:34Z")
I went for the TRUE superhero–I was Bugs Bunny! Hah, beat that! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/39 "2008-01-16T02:44:28Z")
[QUOTE=SmartAleq] I went for the TRUE superhero–I was Bugs Bunny! Hah, beat that! 😃 [/QUOTE] Road Runner beats Bugs every time. \*beep **beep** ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571/40 "2008-01-16T03:38:17Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] Pfft, plant-eater! [/QUOTE] A plant eater with two brains and giant Godzilla like spikes on his back and a tail that could like, take out the fucking school bus maybe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-eavesdropping-on-my-son-he-asks-god-for-superpowers/433571.md?page=3)