# Unintentionally funny signs/ads **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2015, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695 "2015-05-24T03:08:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/21 "2015-05-25T14:35:05Z")
> [@JWT\_Kottekoe](#): > > Slow children at play The Sloths just moved in, eh? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/22 "2015-05-25T14:42:09Z")
> [@3trew](#): > > Google “Pony Play”. Don’t do it at work. Blucher! ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/23 "2015-05-25T15:58:49Z")
There was an awesomely wierd electronic billboard in the front window of a butcher’s shop in my city (Toronto, on Eglinton, quite a bit west of EW station). This place always had scrolling ads for the various gross delicacies - like “Burnt Hog Faces - $3.99/pound; Chicken’s feet - $8/pound; Intestines: $2.99’pound”, that kind of thing. One day, in among these ads, was a new entry: “High School Kids Wanted” I assume they meant “… for part-time jobs in the shop”. But it didn’t actually say that. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/24 "2015-05-25T16:21:44Z")
I used to drive past a tiny hole-in-the-wall Beauty Shop (Hair Care, whatever they’re called) that had this large cheapo sign: “We specialize in Women’s and Men’s hairstyles.” ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/25 "2015-05-25T16:26:04Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > “We specialize in Women’s and Men’s hairstyles.” Well, I guess that could be to exclude children’s cuts, but… yeah. Brought to mind another fave, a small shop attached to a big dry cleaner’s: **CHRISTINE’S MEN AND WOMEN ALTERATION SHOP** ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/26 "2015-05-25T16:29:26Z")
This whole thread is a testament to why I really hate sign shops, but I already decided to spare you all a full-length pitting. (Micro-pit extract: Buying the machines and taking a two-day training course in how to run them does not make one a design or language genius… but that’s just for them fancy people anyway.) ---
**Author:** ![Jamicat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jamicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamicat)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/27 "2015-05-25T16:49:29Z")
Internets Pizza Hut… Big D inner Box. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/28 "2015-05-25T17:01:28Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > I used to drive past a tiny hole-in-the-wall Beauty Shop (Hair Care, whatever they’re called) that had this large cheapo sign: > > “We specialize in Women’s and Men’s hairstyles.” On the _very same stretch_ of Eglinton as the butcher shop I noted above, there is a Beauty Shop called something like “Amorphous Hair Design”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/29 "2015-05-25T17:08:37Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > On the _very same stretch_ of Eglinton as the butcher shop I noted above, there is a Beauty Shop called something like “Amorphous Hair Design”. 😃 I’ve lost track of businesses I wanted to go in and tell, “You keep using that word…” in my best Inigo Montoya accent. ---
**Author:** ![yawuntz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a5b964/32.png) [@yawuntz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yawuntz)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/30 "2015-05-25T17:45:28Z")
There was a muffler shop in Burnaby (next door to Vancouver) with the sign, that was up for about ten years: FREE MUFF INSPECTION A sign on a Vancouver Brake and Wheel shop (for one night only): WE COCK ALL SLUTS And on a Dairy Queen in Calgary, during Calgary Stampede: DOPE ON PARADE DAY - MDA - MARAYAN ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/31 "2015-05-25T17:58:21Z")
> [@Ayatollah Yawuntz](#): > > There was a muffler shop in Burnaby (next door to Vancouver) with the sign, that was up for about ten years: > > FREE MUFF INSPECTION > A sign on a Vancouver Brake and Wheel shop (for one night only): > > WE COCK ALL SLUTS > And on a Dairy Queen in Calgary, during Calgary Stampede: > > DOPE ON PARADE DAY - MDA - MARAYAN I’ve told this before but I loved the sign of the sketchy looking motel in Sarasota that for several years used to advertise “WELCOME - LOW RAT S”. ---
**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/32 "2015-05-25T18:09:51Z")
I was buying hot dogs yesterday and a display of Armour Lunch Makers caught my eye. It featured a campaign to “Stomp out bullying”. I thought that was kind of insensitive. What’s next, Armour? “Punch out domestic violence”? ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/33 "2015-05-25T18:12:30Z")
Our local Chinese restaurant has a hand-lettered sign in the window now: “Closed every Monday of the Week.” Not just some Mondays. Every Monday. ---
**Author:** ![txswimdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@txswimdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/txswimdad)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/34 "2015-05-25T18:15:36Z")
[nationalsafeplace.org](http://nationalsafeplace.org) is a non - profit created to help troubled teens. The sign they originally developed was rather creepy. It looked like an adult molesting a child inside a phallic looking house. [![](http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20150525/64b68ab1b6f44b54552ce68f85526d51.jpg) ](http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20150525/64b68ab1b6f44b54552ce68f85526d51.jpg) ETA: Thankfully, they have redesigned their sign. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/35 "2015-05-25T19:19:30Z")
> [@Ayatollah Yawuntz](#): > > There was a muffler shop in Burnaby (next door to Vancouver) with the sign, that was up for about ten years: > > FREE MUFF INSPECTION I never saw that one, but I do recall snickering at the big building in Vancouver with the huge **fag** on the side. (Farbenindustrie a.g.) ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/36 "2015-05-25T19:31:19Z")
One sign they had in my parent’s neighbourhood: “Beware of Elderly Pedestrians!”. It always brought to my mind a Monty Pythonesque scenario of being chased down the street by gangs of vicious Elderly Pedestrians. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/37 "2015-05-25T20:43:15Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > I see some of those “garage sale” type of signs around here every once in a while that say “GIANT KIDS SALE!” And I always think, “No thanks, I don’t need any giant kids.” I always say that I’m not in the market for a garage whenever I see a GARAGE SALE sign. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/38 "2015-05-25T20:45:10Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Anyway, many years ago, Riley was running ads for some fundraiser for their new burn unit, and they had a racecar driver in one of the ads, asking people to participate in a fundraiser to raise money which would be given “to burn children at Riley Hospital.” Direct quote. Not “_for_ burn children,” not “to the burn _unit_,” not “to burn_ed_ children.” Nope. The commercial ran a lot, and I’m positive that is exactly what he said “to burn children.” Well, barbecued baby is a very expensive delicacy in certain _haute cuisine_ circles. When I lived in Berkeley, late 1970’s, there was a little hole-in-the-wall Chinese-sort-of eatery called The Hunger Pang. It was run by a little old Chinese guy who spoke a little bit of English. (And it was actually pretty good stuff.) One day I happened to notice his business license on the wall. I found out the guy’s name was actually Pang. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/39 "2015-05-25T20:47:51Z")
On the freeway in Oakland, for years and years there was a sign on the side of a warehouse-looking building that said, STOP CASTING POROSITY I never understood what that meant and why we were supposed to stop it. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695/40 "2015-05-25T20:54:03Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > On the freeway in Oakland, for years and years there was a sign on the side of a warehouse-looking building that said, > > STOP CASTING POROSITY > > I never understood what that meant and why we were supposed to stop it. It was probably an ad for an industrial process, like this. [http://www.ultrasealamerica.com/porosity/technology/](http://www.ultrasealamerica.com/porosity/technology/) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-funny-signs-ads/720695.md?page=3)