# Unintentionally hilarious lines in movies? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 11, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890 "2010-08-11T00:30:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/21 "2010-08-11T05:37:36Z")
Just me and my dead…penis. Don’t say penis in this house! Penis, ma! Penis, penis, penis! Big fucking erect penis! (Tom Cruise) ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/22 "2010-08-11T05:48:06Z")
I don’t remember which two-reeler it was from, or which particular Stooge uttered the line, but one of the Three Stooges solemnly declared, “You just ejaculated a mouthful!” ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/23 "2010-08-11T06:04:46Z")
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Nothing beats that bit from _8MM_. From memory: “Did you watch it with him?” “What?” “The snuff film. Did you watch it with him?” “What does this have to do with anything?” “Did it get him off? Huh? Did you stroke him? DID YOU GIVE HIM THE HANDJOB WHILE HE WAS WATCHING HER GET BUTCHERED?!” Fuckin’ Nic Cage, man. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/24 "2010-08-11T06:32:29Z")
In Emanuelle III (I think it was), Sylvia Kristel says “Don’t be a fool - there’s no sense in it”, which struck me as kind of obvious. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/25 "2010-08-11T07:13:17Z")
[Mr. Stalin](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0036166/), I believe history will record you as a great builder for the benefit of mankind. ---
**Author:** ![cactus\_waltz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@cactus\_waltz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cactus_waltz)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/26 "2010-08-11T09:40:11Z")
> [@GameHat](#): > > I’ve mentioned this one before in the Café, but it still cracks me up. > > _The Matrix_ > > The Nebuchadnezzar is being chased by one of those metal octopi (Sentinel, I think?) > > Trinity says something along the lines of: > > _A Sentinel. A killing machine designed for one thing._ > > At which point I guffaw and always shout at the screen, “killing?” > > But her next line always makes me lose it. > \* > Search and destroy.\* > 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 This made me laugh out loud. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/27 "2010-08-11T11:03:33Z")
Unobtainium. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/28 "2010-08-11T11:06:40Z")
In _Downfall_, not the meme scene but later right after Hitler rants about Himmler’s betrayal, he tells von Greim about his imaginary offensive and his imaginary jet fighters. It’s just comical the way Goebbels looks like he’s suppressing laughter while von Greim totally buys it. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/29 "2010-08-11T11:44:38Z")
Oldie: EXODUS, near the end, Paul Newman is delivering a eulogy over the grave of one the main characters who was killed. What should have been a deeply emotional scene is totally destroyed by his expression of anger at the politics that led to her death: [paraphrase]“I’m so angry, I could howl like a dog.” Audiences laugh. Totally mood-destroying, even film destroying. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/30 "2010-08-11T11:53:48Z")
“Kneel before ZOD!” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/31 "2010-08-11T12:01:48Z")
_“DO YOU WANT LUNCH?”_ -John Travolta, dangling a rat and speaking like a Monty Python old lady character in _Battlefield Earth_. ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/32 "2010-08-11T12:06:46Z")
Kevin Costner in the courtroom trying to prove the JFK conspiracy ‘And they say the Presidents Brain, has dissapeared!’ ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/33 "2010-08-11T13:09:41Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > Unobtainium. :rolleyes: Doesn’t fit the OP. That was a joke. A pretty obvious one, too, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/34 "2010-08-11T13:21:02Z")
Guess it’s not _unintentional_, but in _There’s Something About Mary_ when Chris Elliot’s character Woogie is asked how he’s doing, he responds with “Each day is better than the next.” I’ve used that line many times when asked how I’m doing, and no one has ever caught it. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/35 "2010-08-11T13:31:15Z")
_The Alamo_ has a few. “I gotta warn yeah, I’m a screamer.” “They killed me Davey, they killed me” ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/36 "2010-08-11T13:43:18Z")
[“Good relations with the Wookies I have.”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUMzZ9FmImE) ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/37 "2010-08-11T14:01:56Z")
I can’t believe no one’s mentioned **Return of the Jedi** yet. Palpatine: Then you must go to the sanctuary moon and wait for him. Vader: He will come to me? Palpatine: I have foreseen it. His compassion for you will be his undoing. He will come to you and you will bring him before me. Vader: As you wish. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/38 "2010-08-11T14:09:20Z")
> [@GameHat](#): > > I’ve mentioned this one before in the Café, but it still cracks me up. > > _The Matrix_ > > The Nebuchadnezzar is being chased by one of those metal octopi (Sentinel, I think?) > > Trinity says something along the lines of: > > _A Sentinel. A killing machine designed for one thing._ > > At which point I guffaw and always shout at the screen, “killing?” > > But her next line always makes me lose it. > \* > Search and destroy.\* > > 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 Alright, designed for two things. Search and Destroy. Wot about repo’tin back? Alright, A killing machine designed for three things: search and edstroy and reporting back. And discriminatin’ 'tween living and dead peoples, roight? Fine! A killing machine designed for three things: search and edstroy and reporting back, and telling the difference between living and dead people. Well, don’t forget that… ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/39 "2010-08-11T14:10:49Z")
I realize it’s not fair to pick lines from Highlander II, but I’m going to do it anyway. The hero has rescued a very competent female resistance fighter. We’ve already seen her handle weapons during a daring raid. But as they get to know each other, she begins to suspect he’s got some kind of unpleasant secret (she has no idea!). So she confronts him. I don’t remember her dialogue exactly, but the message is clear: she’s a modern woman, she demands that he tell her what’s up, _and she emphasizes that he shouldn’t try to pass off some stupid BS story on her_ because she’s skeptical and won’t believe it. He sighs and then straightforwardly says, “OK. I am from the planet Zeist and I cannot die.” I mean, _honestly,_ that’s his response to “don’t feed me some BS story?” Although the movie has long gone off the rails by that point, it’s still jarring that she sighs and leans her head against him as her response. Later, he has to show her how to load a shotgun…because now that she’s kissed him, the exposure to testosterone has driven her past as a master weapons-handler in the resistance clean out of her head. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/40 "2010-08-11T14:32:22Z")
Shockingly, no one has picked the king of lines like this: **Revenge Of The Sith** - “Noooooooooooo!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890.md?page=3)