# Unintentionally hilarious lines in movies? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 11, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890 "2010-08-11T00:30:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/41 "2010-08-11T14:44:57Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > > [@GameHat](#): > > > > I’ve mentioned this one before in the Café, but it still cracks me up. > > > > _The Matrix_ > > > > The Nebuchadnezzar is being chased by one of those metal octopi (Sentinel, I think?) > > > > Trinity says something along the lines of: > > > > _A Sentinel. A killing machine designed for one thing._ > > > > At which point I guffaw and always shout at the screen, “killing?” > > > > But her next line always makes me lose it. > > \* > > Search and destroy.\* > > > > 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 > > Alright, designed for two things. Search and Destroy. > > Wot about repo’tin back? > > Alright, A killing machine designed for three things: search and edstroy and reporting back. > > And discriminatin’ 'tween living and dead peoples, roight? > > Fine! A killing machine designed for three things: search and edstroy and reporting back, and telling the difference between living and dead people. > > Well, don’t forget that… **Trinity sitting on the floor, rubber jacket loosened around the collar, rubbing her temples** “Ok, ok. A killing machine designed for 27 things. Search and destroy, reporting back, discriminating between the dead and the living, navigating the return, calculating work arounds, executing self-repair, exterminating the…” ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/42 "2010-08-11T14:48:30Z")
“Inspector Clay’s dead… murdered… and _ **somebody’s responsible** _!” (Unleashing a floodgate, I know…) ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/43 "2010-08-11T15:03:50Z")
> [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](#): > > Shockingly, no one has picked the king of lines like this: > > **Revenge Of The Sith** - “Noooooooooooo!” You’ll get a kick out of [this](http://www.winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html). It’s screenscaps of a bootleg copy of Episode 3 and it’s hillariously horrible captions. The best part is how they translated Vader’s “noooooooo” scream. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/44 "2010-08-11T15:11:21Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > > [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > > > Unobtainium. :rolleyes: > > Doesn’t fit the OP. That was a joke. A pretty obvious one, too, actually. soRRY! Gess Im just dum, then. I had honestly never heard of it. No need to be all “obviously” and “actually.” ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/45 "2010-08-11T15:50:04Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > This line might have some intention of being funny, but not as funny as it actually is the way it’s delivered. > > Go to about 50 seconds in this clip > > [When you were still learning to SPELL YOUR NAME, I was being trained to CONQUER GALAXIES!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqWK85gJaxc) > > It’s his hand motions to. Oh, it’s from Battlefield Earth. Y’know, that might not have been such a bad movie if Travolta hadn’t been constantly hamming it up. Or if Travolta hadn’t been in it, for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/46 "2010-08-11T15:54:45Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > > [@RealityChuck](#): > > > > Doesn’t fit the OP. That was a joke. A pretty obvious one, too, actually. > > soRRY! Gess Im just dum, then. I had honestly never heard of it. No need to be all “obviously” and “actually.” ☹ You don’t need to have heard of it (I hadn’t). Un = not; obtain = to get; ium = an ending indicating an element. Thus, an element you cannot obtain. Not to mention the way the guy grins when he says the name, indicating that a joke is involved. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/47 "2010-08-11T15:57:18Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > > [@RealityChuck](#): > > > > Doesn’t fit the OP. That was a joke. A pretty obvious one, too, actually. > > soRRY! Gess Im just dum, then. I had honestly never heard of it. No need to be all “obviously” and “actually.” ☹ [You’ll learn.](http://cdn2.knowyourmeme.com/i/9990/original/internet-24591.jpg?1250726969) ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/48 "2010-08-11T16:13:04Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > “We don’t need no steenking badges!” In _Treasure of the Sierra Madre_ I think it was meant to be menacing, but has become a common comedic catch phrase. Right up there with “Kill the brain and you kill the ghoul” (from _Night of the Living Dead_). ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/49 "2010-08-11T16:25:09Z")
> [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](#): > > > [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](#): > > > > Shockingly, no one has picked the king of lines like this: > > > > **Revenge Of The Sith** - “Noooooooooooo!” > > You’ll get a kick out of [this](http://www.winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html). It’s screenscaps of a bootleg copy of Episode 3 and it’s hillariously horrible captions. The best part is how they translated Vader’s “noooooooo” scream. So THATS how the “do not want” meme got started, awesome! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/50 "2010-08-11T16:45:55Z")
Here’s a real oldie from the movie “Bombshell” in 1933: “Your hair is like a field of silver daisies. I’d like to run barefoot through your hair!” ---
**Author:** ![OpusThePenguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7bcc69/32.png) [@OpusThePenguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpusThePenguin)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/51 "2010-08-11T17:57:31Z")
Not sure I remember this correctly but from Downfall, when the secretary first meets Hitler: Hitler: Take a dictation. Don’t worry if you make mistakes. I’m a very bad dictator. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/52 "2010-08-11T18:17:26Z")
“I don’t want your laugh!” from _Varsity Blues_ was a bit of a howler at the time. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/53 "2010-08-11T18:27:46Z")
The Rifftrax (MST3K alumni) Live Holiday shorts spectacular last year included the early Max Fleischer version of Rudolph…which included the climactic scene where (I’m not making this up) Rudolph is in his bed. Santa climbs through his window, sits on the edge of his bed, and says “Rudolph…I need you tonight.” The audience completely lost it. One of the riffers (Bill Corbett, IIRC) said “we lost the next 3 lines, but it was worth it.” ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/54 "2010-08-11T18:35:19Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > > [@descamisado](#): > > > > It’s gon’ rain on yo’ head. > > Oh, don’t get me started on that movie! From memory, so they may be inaccurate: > > “Beat her!” > “You told Harpo to beat me!” > “You sho is ugly!” > “Isa married now!” > “I gotta go to schooool” > “Celeee” (in the African accent. As a child, we thought it was hilarious to hear an African try to speak English. We were idiots) > “Harpo, who dis??” > “Alll my life I had to FIGHT!” > “Nothing but death can keep me from it!!!” > “Until you do right by me, everything you touch is gonna crumble!” > > I realize that some of those may have been intentionally funny, but I think most of them were supposed to be touching. We were just stupid kids though, and we laughed our heads off. (Funnily enough, I had read the book prior, and didn’t find much funny about it.) Yes, these are all great ones but for some reason “rain” sticks with me. I occasionally just bust out with “It’s gon’ rain on yo’ head,” for no reason. Yes, I’m very strange, why do you ask. Whenever I can if I see someone has made a mistake, etc., I tell the other person involved, “Beat her.” No one ever gets it. Come to think up it, that was one of the most serious/comic movies of all times. The subject matter - incest, early teenage pregnancy, familial separation, spousal abuse, Jim Crow, etc., just didn’t lend itself to the lightheaded treatment and music. Maybe we didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/55 "2010-08-11T18:49:35Z")
Storm: “Do you know what happens when a toad gets hit by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else” One of the dumbest lines in any movie I’ve ever seen (that was not intended to be dumb) ---
**Author:** ![spacemandave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@spacemandave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spacemandave)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/56 "2010-08-11T19:07:19Z")
[Oh God! Oh Man! Oh God! Oh Man!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9KyBdPeKHg) ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/57 "2010-08-11T19:07:32Z")
Every line uttered by John Wayne in **The Conqueror**. That’s John Wayne as…Genghis Khan. Suffice it to say they didn’t hire a dialect coach. [Here’s](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8U1LVNjJx0&NR=1) a taste. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/58 "2010-08-11T19:16:59Z")
> [@OpusThePenguin](#): > > Not sure I remember this correctly but from Downfall, when the secretary first meets Hitler: > > Hitler: Take a dictation. Don’t worry if you make mistakes. I’m a very bad dictator. I wonder if the pun works in German? ---
**Author:** ![from\_a\_to\_z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5fc32e/32.png) [@from\_a\_to\_z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/from_a_to_z)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/59 "2010-08-11T19:45:33Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Here’s a real oldie from the movie “Bombshell” in 1933: “Your hair is like a field of silver daisies. I’d like to run barefoot through your hair!” I vote for that line being intentional. The whole movie is lots of fun, a pre-code send-up of a movie star (played delightfully by Jean Harlow) and her hangers-on. Per imdb ([link](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0023825/fullcredits#writers)), John Lee Mahin, Jules Furthman, and Norman Krasna were the screenwriters. Two others which to me sound more unintentional… [ul]From _The Women_, 1939 ([imdb](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0032143/)), Lucile Watson: “Well, cheer up, Mary; living alone has its compensations. Heaven knows it’s marvelous being able to spread out in bed like a swastika!”[/ul] [ul]From _This Gun for Hire_, 1942 ([Google books](http://books.google.es/books?id=eTKSwc-TB6EC&pg=PA90&lpg=PA90&dq=%22This+war+is+everybody%27s+business%22&source=bl&ots=rYIIw7G_Ob&sig=RvJRyEwTgcCygZiDRoaM74SOzds&hl=es&ei=yftiTMu7MMWA4Qbwv5HOCg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CC0Q6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=%22This%20war%20is%20everybody%27s%20business%22&f=false)), Veronica Lake (during WW II in the US) encouragingly to a multiple murderer: “This war is everybody’s business, yours too.” [/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Rafe\_Hollister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Rafe\_Hollister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rafe_Hollister)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/60 "2010-08-11T19:54:49Z")
Soylent green is made out of people!!! It’s peopllllllllleeeeeeeee!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890.md?page=4)