# Unintentionally hilarious lines in movies? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 11, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890 "2010-08-11T00:30:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/61 "2010-08-11T20:00:49Z")
Princess Leia kissing Luke Skywalker in Star Wars “for luck.” Both funny and EEEEEEWWWW. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/62 "2010-08-11T20:05:44Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Storm: “Do you know what happens when a toad gets hit by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else” > > One of the dumbest lines in any movie I’ve ever seen (that was not intended to be dumb) Except that line was unintentionally non-hilarious. The opposite of what we’re talking about. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/63 "2010-08-11T20:23:54Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Princess Leia kissing Luke Skywalker in Star Wars “for luck.” Both funny and EEEEEEWWWW. Well, it didn’t become “EEEEWWWWW” until six years later. ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/64 "2010-08-11T20:53:18Z")
Release the kraken! ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/65 "2010-08-11T21:08:01Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > “Ok, ok. A killing machine designed for 27 things. Search and destroy, reporting back, discriminating between the dead and the living, navigating the return, calculating work arounds, executing self-repair, exterminating the…” But other than that, whjat have the hunter-seekers ever done for us? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/66 "2010-08-11T21:08:57Z")
I don’t think this [exchange](http://www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/john_travolta/personality_goes_a_long_way-lyrics-903288.html) between John Travolta & Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction was supposed to be as funny as the two of them made it. Marelous delivery. > [@](#): > > VINCENT > Want some bacon? > > JULES > Naw, man, I don’t eat pork. > > VINCENT > Are you Jewish? > > JULES > I ain’t Jewish, I just don’t dig on swine, that’s all. > > VINCENT > Why not? > > JULES > Pigs are filthy animals. I don’t eat filthy animals. > > VINCENT > Yeah, but bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good. > > JULES > Hey, a sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie. But I’ll never know ‘cause I > wouldn’t eat the filthy motherfuckers. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That’s > a filthy animal. I ain’t need nothin’ that ain’t got sense enough to > disregard its own feces. > > VINCENT > How about a dog? Dog eats its own feces. > > JULES > I don’t eat dog either. > > VINCENT > Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal? > > JULES > I wouldn’t go so far as to call a dog filthy, but they’re definitely dirty. > But a dog’s got personality. Personality goes a long way. > > VINCENT > So by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to > be a filthy animal? Is that true? > > JULES > Well, we’d have to be talkin’ ‘bout one charmin’ motherfuckin’ pig. I mean > he’d have to be ten times more charming that that […] you know what > I’m sayin’? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/67 "2010-08-11T21:21:37Z")
> [@descamisado](#): > > Come to think up it, that was one of the most serious/comic movies of all times. The subject matter - incest, early teenage pregnancy, familial separation, spousal abuse, Jim Crow, etc., just didn’t lend itself to the lightheaded treatment and music. Maybe we didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. _The Color Purple_ is one of my all-time favorite movies ever, with scenes that just rip my heart out. But for some reason that movie really lends itself to ripping lines out of context for comedic effect. '‘I loves Harpo, God knows I do, but I’ll _kill him dead_ ‘fo I let him beat me!’’ ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/68 "2010-08-11T21:48:20Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > “I don’t want your laugh!” from _Varsity Blues_ was a bit of a howler at the time. hilarious. between stallone and arnold there are about a million. notably: “who is your daddy, and what does he do?” “he’s in my house! eating my cookies!” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/69 "2010-08-11T22:25:35Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > > [@GameHat](#): > > > > I’ve mentioned this one before in the Café, but it still cracks me up. > > > > _The Matrix_ > > > > The Nebuchadnezzar is being chased by one of those metal octopi (Sentinel, I think?) > > > > Trinity says something along the lines of: > > > > _A Sentinel. A killing machine designed for one thing._ > > > > At which point I guffaw and always shout at the screen, “killing?” > > > > But her next line always makes me lose it. > > \* > > Search and destroy.\* > > > > 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 > > Alright, designed for two things. Search and Destroy. > > Wot about repo’tin back? > > Alright, A killing machine designed for three things: search and edstroy and reporting back. > > And discriminatin’ 'tween living and dead peoples, roight? > > Fine! A killing machine designed for three things: search and edstroy and reporting back, and telling the difference between living and dead people. > > Well, don’t forget that… I’ll come in again. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/70 "2010-08-11T23:21:50Z")
“Gimme the bat, Wendy.” ::thonk:: ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/71 "2010-08-12T14:08:31Z")
I don’t remember if the line was in the movie, but in the Bourne Ultimatum trailer the CIA boss lady, describing what a bad ass Bourne is, says this gem of a line. > [@](#): > > Trying to kill him and failing, just pisses him off. Really CIA boss lady, really? If he gets pissed off when they try to kill him and fail, I’d hate to see how angry he would get if they tried to kill him and succeed. [Link to trailer](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIcxxtpdwEk#t=0m45s) ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/72 "2010-08-12T15:10:09Z")
In the **The China Syndrome** , there was a lot of nervous laughter in the theater when the movie scientist says “The China Syndrome would render an area the size of Pennsylvania permanently uninhabitable.” This was in March, 1979 when Three Mile Island happened. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/73 "2010-08-12T19:13:17Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > > [@OpusThePenguin](#): > > > > Not sure I remember this correctly but from Downfall, when the secretary first meets Hitler: > > > > Hitler: Take a dictation. Don’t worry if you make mistakes. I’m a very bad dictator. > > I wonder if the pun works in German? No, unfortunately it doesn’t (I wonder if there was anything humorous in the original dialog here. I saw the German version some time ago, but don’t remember this particular scene, but OTOH, I don’t remember _any_ comic relief in this movie). ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/74 "2010-08-12T19:30:41Z")
Too late to Edit: Ok, I see I’ve been whooshed :smack:. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/75 "2010-08-12T20:54:48Z")
Unfortunately, most of the humor in _Downfall_ is predicated on the audience not understanding German. Doesn’t stop it from being a damn good movie, however. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/76 "2010-08-13T22:39:50Z")
From Vertigo, when Jimmy Stewart’s character is trying to give Kim Novak’s second character a makeover: SCOTTIE (Studying) The color of your hair… ``` JUDY Ah, no! SCOTTIE Judy, please it can't matter to you... ``` ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2010, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/77 "2010-08-13T23:20:50Z")
“He shouldn’t be alive. This vexes me. I am terribly vexed.” _–Commodus_ “Chaos reigns.” _–Not-so-fantastic Self-devouring Mr. Fox_ ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/78 "2010-08-14T07:42:18Z")
Not a movie, but in Starcraft 2, there are some unintentionally breaking the 4th wall moments of dialogue. Adjutant (your AI thingamabob): The Protoss have sealed a Terrazine vent. Raynor: The Protoss have sealed a Terrazine vent! No shit, captain obvious. I enjoyed the campaign but I seriously wondered if Jimmy got by on this whole ‘resistance leader’ schtick by repeating what the last person just said. Almost worse is Zeratul, who has nothing better to do than to muse in his own mind how he’s gotta use blink and void prism (to hint to the player how to get past various puzzles in the level). It would be like me saying, “I desire a beer, but first I must get in my car and drive to 7-11, then spend 8.99 to purchase a six-pack. The beer will be unpleasantly warm, so I ought to find a place to put it to chill it before I consume it” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![carm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c2a13f/32.png) [@carm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carm)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2010, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/79 "2010-08-14T15:13:31Z")
From Closer: Gobshite No 1: “You think love is simple. You think the heart is like a diagram.” Gobshite No 2: “Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist, covered in blood!” Terrible movie. This was supposed to be a bit of a zinger I think, but it was unintentionally hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890/80 "2010-08-17T10:16:22Z")
The animated _Tekken_ movie. It was terrible. I knew it was terrible, but I like _Tekken_, so I watched it. At 4:02 in [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJMBoN3u384&feature=related) clip, Jun asks Kazuya, “Why are you so upset? Is it because your father threw you off that cliff?”. Uhhhh, well, probably. No one in the room registered what happened for the next two minutes or so, because we were laughing so hard. What makes it even funnier is that she’s really hurt and horrified by Kazuya’s behavior, like she had no friggen clue that getting thrown off a cliff by one’s own father would really change a guy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unintentionally-hilarious-lines-in-movies/549890.md?page=5)