# United Airlines... suck my anatomy. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 17, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028 "2001-10-17T18:55:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![labradorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@labradorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/labradorian)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/1 "2001-10-17T18:55:52Z")
No one cries any tears for ValuJet. No one cries any tears for PanAm. No one cries any tears for TWA. You screwed up, United Airlines. You can bloody well pay the consequences. Oh, so you might go mams-up by Q2 next year? TOO FLUCKING BAD. ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/2 "2001-10-17T19:09:21Z")
okay ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/3 "2001-10-17T19:12:03Z")
[In case](http://www.canoe.ca/Canoe/canoetravel.html) you wanted to know. ---
**Author:** ![labradorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@labradorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/labradorian)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/4 "2001-10-17T21:22:15Z")
Air Canada can suck my anatomy, too. Incidentally, I have never been allowed to carry a blade on board a flight originating in Canada, and my electronics have always (well, almost always) been checked for operability since at least the Lockerbie bombing in 1988. Why the hell were US airlines dragging their feet, and playing Russian Roulette with millions of customers lives? The entire flucking airline industry can collectively take a long hard slurp of my anatomy. Maybe it’ll get their slurpers off the public tit. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/5 "2001-10-17T21:43:51Z")
It’s a long drive to Paris, my friends. Better bring lunch, 'cause there’s a three thousand mile stretch with no services. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/6 "2001-10-17T22:12:12Z")
so, who wants to go to paris anyway? its full of smelly french people! feh! ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/7 "2001-10-17T22:21:42Z")
Actually, the airline industry agonized over the demise of Pan Am (and Eastern, for that matter), as they were old names that recalled the exciting early days of aviation. Both airlines have active alumni associations. And as long as we’re debunking things, Valujet did not go belly-up (yet), but rather merged with someone to become AirTran. So there really wasn’t anything to “cry” over. If you feel that United “flucked up” because they failed to plan for a ~40% drop in passengers occurring in a single day, I suppose that’s your perogative. But what group of employees is not saddened at the prospect of the employer going out of business? I’m sure the execs and employees of almost every company, from the brashest dot-com to Beth Steel, are saddened at the prospect. What, precisely, are you ranting about? ---
**Author:** ![labradorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@labradorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/labradorian)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/8 "2001-10-17T23:58:44Z")
UA, along with others, flucked up by being too goddamned cheap to pay for real security that might have stopped what happened in September. They flucked up by giving in to unreasonable customer demands about what is or is not acceptable to bring aboard an airliner. They made their beds; they can lie in them. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/9 "2001-10-18T00:29:44Z")
Not really, **labradorian**. It’s the customers who ultimately decide what services the airlines provide. If an airline boosts security measures or restricts carry-ons beyond what its competitors do, its customers will be directly affected with increased ticket prices or less convenience. The customers will then take their business to the competitors. Hindsight is nice, but I very much doubt that passengers before 11 September would have tolerated the kind of security measures likely necessary to stop those terrorists. (In any case, the FAA, not the airlines, is ultimately responsible for airport security.) In fact, considering how poorly the airlines have been doing this year, it’s clear that customers were unwilling to buy the services that the airlines _did_ offer at the prices they were charging. How the airlines fucked up was in not anticipating or sufficiently adapting to reduced passenger demand through the first three quarters of 2001. If they were in good financial shape on September 11, most of the layoffs would probably not have happened. Then again, in order to _get into_ good financial shape, they probably would have had to reduce capacity and lay off employees anyway. So some layoffs were probably inevitable. ---
**Author:** ![labradorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@labradorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/labradorian)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/10 "2001-10-18T02:08:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kamandi \* > \*\*Hindsight is nice, but I very much doubt that passengers before 11 September would have tolerated the kind of security measures likely necessary to stop those terrorists. (In any case, the FAA, not the airlines, is ultimately responsible for airport security.) In fact, considering how poorly the airlines have been doing this year, it’s clear that customers were unwilling to buy the services that the airlines _did_ offer at the prices they were charging. > \*\* The customer isn’t always right. As I posted earlier, the things the hijackers got away with on the 11th have been prohibited on every Canadian flight I can ever recall having flown on. It doesn’t take a psychic to predict that the very lax security which obtained on and before the 10th could result in the events of the 11th. The airlines should have taken action accordingly. Oh, they didn’t? Then don’t ask the taxpayer to pay for their grotesque misjudgment. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/11 "2001-10-18T02:54:50Z")
**labradorian** , be careful for what you wish for. You just might get a suck on your anatomy–by a jet engine. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/12 "2001-10-18T16:13:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by capacitor \* > \*\ ***labradorian** , be careful for what you wish for. You just might get a suck on your anatomy–by a jet engine. \*\* Jet engine? Hell, I don’t think mosquitoes would be gagged by his anatomy. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/13 "2001-10-18T16:17:30Z")
What the airlines are asking for is that the government reimburse them for shutting them down for the better part of a week. If the government shut your buisness down wouldn’t you want the same? By the way, [Air Canada and other Canadian carriers are asking for government compensation as well](http://www.aircanada.ca/news/usa/acqa.html). What’s that for? Incidentally, being Canadian myself, I’ve taken many flights on Air Canada and Canadian Airlines over the years with my trusty pocket knife in my pocket. Nobody ever asked me to give it up. I don’t know what security measures you are referring to when you say that the terrorists cold not have gotten away with it in Canada. [This article](http://cbc.ca/cgi-bin/templates/view.cgi?category=Canada&story=/news/2001/10/18/air_report011018) seems to contradict your assertion. ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/14 "2001-10-18T16:49:13Z")
The word is fuck. F-U-C-K. Notice there is no “L” anywhere in that word. I at first thought it was a typo but you have repeated it so many times that I have concluded it is deliberate. If you think the word is too foul for you to use then don’t imply the word by adding an “l.” Everyone knows you **mean** fuck. Use the actual mother-fucking, cunt-licking, cock sucking word or don’t use it at all. Fuckity fuck fuck! –End hijack ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/15 "2001-10-18T18:52:51Z")
> [@](#): > > –End hijack If it were only that easy… ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/16 "2001-10-18T21:10:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by labradorian \*\*\* > As I posted earlier, the things the hijackers got away with on the 11th have been prohibited on every Canadian flight I can ever recall having flown on. \*\* Not so fast. I was flying through Edmonton last Saturday and while in the airport the headline on the Edmonton newspaper was **“BOXCUTTERS FOUND ON SEPT 11 AIR CANADA FLIGHT”**. I did not buy the paper to read the story but it sounds like it was a damn good thing all those birds got grounded as fast as they did. Prohibited or not, it sounds like they made it on to at least 1 flight. ---
**Author:** ![labradorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@labradorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/labradorian)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/17 "2001-10-18T21:20:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kamandi \* > \*\*What the airlines are asking for is that the government reimburse them for shutting them down for the better part of a week. If the government shut your buisness down wouldn’t you want the same? > > By the way, [Air Canada and other Canadian carriers are asking for government compensation as well](http://www.aircanada.ca/news/usa/acqa.html). What’s that for? > > Incidentally, being Canadian myself, I’ve taken many flights on Air Canada and Canadian Airlines over the years with my trusty pocket knife in my pocket. Nobody ever asked me to give it up. I don’t know what security measures you are referring to when you say that the terrorists cold not have gotten away with it in Canada. [This article](http://cbc.ca/cgi-bin/templates/view.cgi?category=Canada&story=/news/2001/10/18/air_report011018) seems to contradict your assertion. \*\* I’ve never been able to take a knife – any knife – aboard a flight in Canada. Evidently airports have had too variable standards, but the ones I’ve flown in and out of have always been nervous about such things. So what if the government shut the airlines down? All airlines were treated equally in this regard, and all segments of the economy are suffering. That doesn’t lead to an inexorable conclusion that bailouts are the answer. Let the airlines go under. And let someone who gives a damn about the safety of the public buy their assets at bankruptcy auction. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/18 "2001-10-18T21:59:38Z")
You obviously own your own airplane. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/19 "2001-10-18T22:02:36Z")
> [@](#): > > And let someone who gives a damn about the safety of the public buy their assets at bankruptcy auction. Bwahahahahaha!! That’s a good one! ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028/20 "2001-10-18T22:52:24Z")
Yeah, that’s pretty rich. Alex, I’ll take “People who don’t remember Frank Lorenzo” for $800. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-airlines-suck-my-anatomy/88028.md?page=2)