# United Way Slogan Contest **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2011, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189 "2011-08-10T12:51:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/1 "2011-08-10T12:51:45Z")
When I was on my way in to work today, I saw a sign that said United Way Slogan Contest. It had a bunch more text under that, but I didn’t bother to stop to read it. I’m guessing that the gist is that they’re trying to get more people to contribute. So have at it, Dopers. What slogan could I submit that would almost guarantee my termination? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/2 "2011-08-10T14:56:15Z")
Nobody? I’ll start you off: The United Way: Give as if your job depended on it. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/3 "2011-08-10T15:10:12Z")
United Way: Why make ALL of your charitable donations to the nonprofits you feel deserve them? Just give them to us and we’ll decide how much your charity deserves! ---
**Author:** ![PhiloVance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e19adc/32.png) [@PhiloVance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhiloVance)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/4 "2011-08-10T15:13:34Z")
Give to the United Way: We spread the wealth, with the CEO getting most of it. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/5 "2011-08-10T15:17:38Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > United Way: Why make ALL of your charitable donations to the nonprofits you feel deserve them? Just give them to us and we’ll decide how much your charity deserves! We’re going to have a hard time putting that on a button. 100% compliance: A great way to kiss your boss’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/6 "2011-08-10T15:21:33Z")
The United Way: Give, or else you might need our services very soon. The United Way: Don’t be the cause of 99.9% compliance. The United Way: When’s your annual review, again? The United Way: Pay up or the secretary will stick $5 in your envelope herself. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/7 "2011-08-10T15:26:00Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > The United Way: When’s your annual review, again? This is clearly the front runner. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/8 "2011-08-10T15:49:40Z")
Now with 20% less fraud! Want to breathe easier? Loosening that noose is gonna cost! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/9 "2011-08-10T16:10:37Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Nobody? I’ll start you off: > > The United Way: Give as if your job depended on it. I think you nailed it right out of the box. “United Way: Because Your Personal Charitable Habits Are OUR Business.” ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/10 "2011-08-10T16:50:06Z")
My way or the highway. Always give United Way to ensure a sound future. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/11 "2011-08-10T18:04:08Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > We’re going to have a hard time putting that on a button. OK, uh… United Way: Death to LYBUNTS United Way: If I were you, I’d write that check United Way: We’re making a list and checking it twice ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/12 "2011-08-10T18:15:30Z")
United Way: You know those really dumb locally charities you don’t care about? Well now you can pay for 'em. United Way: Yup, we still support the bigoted Boy Scouts. United Way: F\*ck you, that’s why. United Way: Really? A dollar? United Way: Who doesn’t want lots of charities to have your name, number and email to flood you with more handout request? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/13 "2011-08-10T19:22:29Z")
Either of these on a button: \*\* The United Way.\*\* done in a curved line underneath: [This face](http://mackel9.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/million-dollar-eyes.gif)(ignore the animation) or [These eyes.](http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_183/1189444499VjFU72.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/14 "2011-08-10T19:28:50Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > \ > > United Way: F\*ck you, that’s why. > \ We have another contender for thread-winner. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/15 "2011-08-10T19:29:57Z")
Seconded. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/16 "2011-08-10T19:44:55Z")
I like that one and the “my way or the highway” option. ---
**Author:** ![Bri2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/48db29/32.png) [@Bri2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bri2k)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/17 "2011-08-10T23:17:47Z")
Thanks to you, it works for NONE of us, the United Way. Bri2k ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/18 "2011-08-11T20:41:41Z")
United Way: Ruining Things for Charities Since 1887 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/19 "2011-08-11T20:48:45Z")
Thanks to you it works for all of the United Way. Give Until it Hurts, You Cheap Bastards! ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189/20 "2011-08-17T19:44:44Z")
Give to the United Way: You want to be a team player, don’t you? United Way: This is totally not a shakedown. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/united-way-slogan-contest/592189.md?page=2)