# Unlikely Casting. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 7, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493 "2005-01-07T01:27:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/1 "2005-01-07T01:27:09Z")
I was just thinking about the casting choice of Angelina Jolie for Lara Croft (wondering why on earth they didn’t pick Rhona Mitra who was _born_ to play that part) when I let my mind wonder. Eventually I had pictured Woody Alen playing the Terminator. So there I had the idea for this thread. Recast well known movies with unlikely actors/actresses. To get you started, recast the following… Spiderman. Oceans Eleven. Lord of the Rings (the full trilogy) ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/2 "2005-01-07T02:07:38Z")
Let’s see, how 'bout we cast LOTR with that dorky kid from _Goonies_, the wide-eyed waif from _The Good Son_ and Steven Tyler’s slutty daughter from his music videos? 😃 C’mon, it sounded pretty unlikely at the time! ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/3 "2005-01-07T02:25:06Z")
The Moderator Speaketh: Lest there be any doubt: I’ve OK’d this thread. Some forums disapprove of “game” threads, but I think a few such are fun and fine. We’re having some discussion amongst the Mods on what should be allowed and what shouldn’t and why, but this looks like fun to me, so go with it. Like, John Goodman as Peter Parker in Spider-Man III, that what you mean? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/4 "2005-01-07T02:27:30Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > Like, John Goodman as Peter Parker in Spider-Man III, that what you mean? That’s exactly what I mean! Thanks for oking the thread btw 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/5 "2005-01-07T03:01:57Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > Like, John Goodman as Peter Parker in Spider-Man III, that what you mean? Please, Abe Vigoda would make a much better Spider Man than John Goodman. For LOTR, I’d like to suggest Shaq and Kobe as Sam and Frodo, with Yao as Gollum. That’s all I’ve got for now. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/6 "2005-01-07T03:05:21Z")
Rhett Butler . . . Jimmy Durante Scarlett O’Hara . . . Martha Raye Melanie Wilkes . . . Fanny Brice Ashley Wilkes . . . Billy Barty Mammy . . . Marlene Dietrich . . . Now, that I’d actually like to see! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/7 "2005-01-07T03:17:22Z")
LORD OF THE RINGS: Fellowship of the I Love the 80s Frodo- Emmanuel Lewis Samwise- Gary Coleman Merry- Corey Haim Pippin - Corey Feldman Bilbo- Billy Crystal Gandalf- George Carlin Boromir- Patrick Swayze Arwen- Jennifer Grey Elrond- Joel Grey Legolas- Greg Evigan Aragorn- Eric Estrada Gimli- Danny Devito Grimbold- Christopher Lloyd Sarumon- Cheech Marin Sauron- Tommy Chong ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/8 "2005-01-07T03:27:41Z")
_Ocean’s 11_ would be interesting if recast with the cast of _Sanford & Son_. Danny Ocean = Redd Foxx Sam Harmon= Whitman Mayo Josh Howard = Demond Wilson Jimmy Foster = Don “Bubba” Bexley Beatrice Ocean= LaWanda Page Casino Owner = Franky “Yeeessss?” Nelson Meanwhile, _Star Wars_ would be interesting recast with the cast of _Dukes of Hazard_ (including the Waylon Jennings narration- “Meanwhile, ol’ Boss Vader and Grand Boss Tarkin was still back ter the Death Star, and y’all ain’t gwine b’lieve what they was gettin’ up to…”). Replace car chase with Tie Fighter/X Wing chases and you’re home free. _Titanic_ would have been interesting as a Rat Pack movie and directed by Irwin Allen. For added fun, a scientist has smuggled some presumed extinct dinosaurs on board who reak havoc as the ship sinks. Jack (the Dicaprio role): Dean Martin Rose: Shirley MacLaine Cal: Frank Sinatra Old Rose: Agnes Moorehead Unsinkable Molly Brown: Angie Dickinson Lovett (Bill Paxton character): Sammy Davis Jr. Sample dialogue: Jack, upon entering the ship’s bar and finding it crawling with dinosaurs, hoists his martini and cigarette and asks “How’d all these lizards get in my dressing room?” Cal to Rose: “Forget this loser goombah, bimbo! You’re shacked up with me now, capece?” Old Rose: And that’s the way the ship sank, killing 1100 people… Sammy: Yeah, babe, that’s a nice story… someone oughtta make a movie… but I got a setting that needs a stone and you’re not answering the question… where’s the rock? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/9 "2005-01-07T03:47:24Z")
Another interesting crossover cast possibility: _Schindler’s List_ with the cast of _Green Acres_. Either Pat “Mr. Haney” Buttram could be Goeth, Eddie Albert would be Schindler (who when he starts to say “I could have done more” can’t be heard due to the fife music) and Eva & Zsa Zsa Gabor could be Mrs. Schindler and mistress, or else Liam Neeson could play Oliver Douglas, Ben Kingsley could be a very dour Sam Drucker and Ralph Fiennes a particularly sinister Ebb. _DRIVIN’ MISS DAISY_ is meanwhile recast as a vehicle for Dave Chapelle and Paris Hilton. “Piggledy Wiggledy my ass, biatch… we ain’t goin’ near a store less there’s one next door to the titty bar.” Chapelle also plays Booley. _STEEL MAGNOLIAS_ starring the cast of Monty Python in drag with Eddie Izzard as Shelby. John Cleese, of course, is M’lynn. From the makers of _Scooby Doo_ & _Garfield_: _The Yearling_ starring Tom Cruise as the Everglades farmer, Roseanne Barr as his wife, [Michael J. Anderson](http://imdb.com/name/nm0027199/) as their son and zany funnyman Eddie Murphy as the voice of the computer animated fawn. Quentin Tarantino’s _Mary Poppins_ stars Uma Thurman as everybody’s favorite ass-kicking nanny, the Olsen twins as the kids whose eating disorders and paparazzi problem she must fix, and Samuel Jackson as the Cockney song and dance man who cleans the soot from her chimney. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/10 "2005-01-07T09:09:05Z")
How about \*\* ‘Fargo’ \*\* with Paris Hilton as Marge Gunderson & Harrison Ford and Mel Gibson as Steve Buscemi & Peter Stormare - and Jerry Lundegard as Ben Affleck? Lame and useless, not intented as post padding, though, but feel free to delete. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/11 "2005-01-07T09:19:22Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Sarumon- Cheech Marin > > Sauron- Tommy Chong “The Ring’s not here, man.” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/12 "2005-01-07T14:39:15Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Another interesting crossover cast possibility: _Schindler’s List_ with the cast of _Green Acres_. You just reminded me—I used to work at amagazine where one of the editors did a great Jimmy Stewart, and I do a dead-on Garbo. We used to do _Green Acres_ starring the two of them. Oliver: “Waall, waall, umm, Lisa, the, umm, Monroe Brothers are here to, ummm, fix the door . . .” Lisa: “_Ay cannot face them!_ And the peeg—eet depresses me . . .” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/13 "2005-01-07T14:46:24Z")
**Wayne Brady** as Batman **Drew Carey** as Robin **Bea Arthur** in a duo role as Batgirl and Catwoman ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/14 "2005-01-07T14:47:59Z")
The Golden Girls as Charlie’s Angels, with Sophia as Bosley? ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/15 "2005-01-07T20:08:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Bea Arthur in a duo role as Batgirl and Catwoman I was going to suggest Ross Perot as Catwoman. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/16 "2005-01-07T20:24:29Z")
A friend of mine (and fellow Doper) and I once postulated remaking _Casablanca_ with Richard Gere (Rick) and Whoopie Goldberg (Ilsa). Capt. Renault would be played by Drew Carey, who keeps striking out with all the beautiful women who come to him for letters of transit. Maybe Gilbert Gottfried as Ugarte? Who better to scream, “Rick, hide me!” ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/17 "2005-01-07T21:10:01Z")
(Probably) true example. In one of his books (likely “Hope and Glory” or “Adventures in the Screen Trade”), William Goldman tells of the search for the perfect actress to play Buttercup in The Princess Bride. As anyone who has read the book knows, Buttercup is at one point the most beautiful girl in the world (and never much lower than 20th). Obviously, they’re having trouble casting the ideal ethereal beauty. ``` One day, an agent calls up and suggests....Whoopie Goldberg. ``` But if you want some unlikely casting, how about Joe Pesci as Apollo Creed in the first Rocky movie? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/18 "2005-01-07T21:20:41Z")
“Peter Lorre is _Mame!_” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/19 "2005-01-07T23:13:22Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > “Peter Lorre is _Mame!_” With Gerard Depardieu as Vera Charles. “Veal alvays be boo-sum buddies” “Freends, zeesters and pals” Jim Carrey as Jesus in _Passion of the Christ_ Paris Hilton & Nicole Ritchey in _The Whales of August_ The cast of _Seinfeld_ in _Cat on a Hot Tin Roof_ (Elaine as Maggie, Jerry as Brick, Michael Richards as Gooper and Jerry Stiller & Estelle Harris as Big Daddy & Big Mama). Mel Gibson in _Torch Song Trilogy_ ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2005, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493/20 "2005-01-08T01:55:17Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Eventually I had pictured Woody Alen playing the > Terminator. [How about Woody playing a Texas butcher named “Tex”?](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0192455/) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-casting/283493.md?page=2)