# Unlikely Doper Quotations **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2000, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803 "2000-08-10T04:49:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/41 "2000-08-10T19:22:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vandal \* > \*\ ***Satan** : Dammit, I’ve already done [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=29482)! > > \*\* You guys have short memories…it was only a month ago! Also earlier this year: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=17931](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=17931) sheesh ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/42 "2000-08-10T19:27:59Z")
**Arnold Winkelried** - Don’t bother putting in a link to Cecil’s column. People can find it on their own. **matt\_mcl** - Esprix? Yuck. **ChrisP One Kenobe** - Flirt?? I’m married. I don’t flirt. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/43 "2000-08-10T19:36:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Satan: Dammit, I’ve already done this thread! And I got mentioned the **most** in that one! Whew! nobody’s mentioned me in this time. \ \ ---
**Author:** ![Peta\_Tzunami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b487fb/32.png) [@Peta\_Tzunami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peta_Tzunami)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/44 "2000-08-10T19:48:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Vandal informs us: > Satan: Dammit, I’ve already done this thread! DOH! Just when you think you’ve actually said something original, you find out you’re a cheap imitation. \ How _did_ I miss that whole thread earlier…? How about this one? **Cecil:** Hello, the name is Cecil Adams, I believe you’re holding a table for 17 in my name for this evening. Cheers! Peta T. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/45 "2000-08-10T21:15:42Z")
**Monster104** - Hey everyone, I have a girlfriend now! Better yet, she actually likes me! **Weirddave** - Relax, I’m as Dave as I look! ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/46 "2000-08-10T21:22:38Z")
Cecil Adams: Hiya folks! God I love you guys :). I figured I’d just post this thread to say “HI!” to all of you. I’d like to get to know each and every one of my fans. What you think, where you stand on the issues, who you really are. I’d like to talk philosophy and understand each and every one of you on a spiritual level. I’m a capricorn, what’s your sign? ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/47 "2000-08-10T21:26:20Z")
Cecil Adams: Hello? Cecil Adams: Isn’t anyone gonna reply? Cecil Adams: I’ll tell you who I really am… Cecil Adams: Hello? Cecil Adams: Well, ok. I’ll be here if any of you change your mind. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/48 "2000-08-10T21:36:21Z")
I don’t mind redoing this thread, because as I get to know more people, I can actually participate! I may even find myself mocked here sometime. Anyway: Freak Freely: I think strict adherence to grammar and punctuation norms are critically important to SDMB. If anyone wants me, I’ll be over on GD leading a debate on the merits of Strunk & White over the Chicago Stylebook. Hamadryad: Missionary position, on Saturday night only, from 9:30 to 9;35 thinking about God the whole time, with the man I married. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/49 "2000-08-10T21:43:54Z")
## Silver\_Fire: You wanna piece of me, asshole? Well come get some! I’ll take your bitch ass to the ground and make you kiss dirt! ## Satan: Jesus saves? Cool. Yeah I’d love a pamphlet. ## pldennison: Haaaari Krishna! Hari, Hari Krishna! Haaaaaary Krishna! ## Falcon: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’ve gone through this all before. You say something flirtation, I say something back, you act kitten-like, I act mouse-like, or vice versa. It’s getting boring, so why don’t we get it over with and just fuck? Yeesh. And no talking while we do it. ## DrainBead: ROFLMAO!!! this is the funyest post i ever seen!!! techchick: You want fries with that? Iampunha: Awwwwww yeah! But only if I can see you shake too, baby! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/50 "2000-08-10T21:53:58Z")
Purplebear: iampunha, I’m afraid that topic is too personal to discuss even with you. And put your shirt back on! You look like a hoodlum. techchick68/falcon: Mama, come here. Let me give you a big hug. We never talk anymore! And I just LOVE what you’ve done with your hair! Esprix: Hey, guys, I was just kidding. I’m actually straight! Funny joke, eh? Drainthelizard: Coldfire, will you marry me? Alphagene: all this trollhunting, it’s got to stop. Let’s give the guys some breathing room, mmm’kay? Good. Drain Bead: My parents are all for me marrying Satan tomorrow and starting a family while I’m in college. ChiefScott: Falcon, please keep your hands off me! I’m trying to stay celibate. UncleBeer: No thanks, I don’t drink. FreakFreely: Underneath this stormy, jagged front I’m just the delicatest, most precious flower you’ll ever meet. ssskuggiii: I’m the most normal person you’ll ever meet. DRY: Who the hell is Shakespeare? Give me some Dave Barry any day! ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/51 "2000-08-10T21:57:11Z")
**tiggeril/Monster 104:** Our parents rule! or **tiggeril** : Why on earth would I want to post ludicrously dumb non sequiturs in threads that have nothing to do with me? **Lumpy Pants** : Tiggeril, will you forgive me for stealing your handle? **Esprix/matt\_mcl** : Look at that chick’s ass! I’d do her in a hearbeat! **Byzantine** : Hygiene? Who needs it? **Anthracite** : No… I’m too embarrassed to post that… I mean, who’d believe me? It _was_ on a plane, after all, in front of all those people! **iampunha** : Flirt? Me? What pictures? And a big 😉 to everyone, from tiggeril! ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/52 "2000-08-10T22:11:05Z")
**Mr. Cynical:** No, I don’t want to see Silver\_Fire’s picture on the People Pages. **GaWd:** Nope, me either. **iampunha:** Silver\_Fire? Who wants to see _her_ picture? Certainly not me! **Osip:** Me either. ---
**Author:** ![pipefitter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/97f17d/32.png) [@pipefitter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipefitter)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/53 "2000-08-10T23:55:02Z")
\*\*Purplebear:\*\*Will everyone quit bothering me with their problems, I don’t care about anyone but myself. I also need to go to bed by 10 tonight. 🙂 \*\*Chief Scott:\*\*I hate the Navy, I have always wanted to be in the Air Force. Is this all the smilies they have here?! :D:confused:🆒:eek:⭕(;j:mad::rolleyes::):p:wally;) They better get themselves some more, or I’ll find a message board that does! And see there Purp, if you look below, I actually used the quote…\ ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/54 "2000-08-11T00:22:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Esprix/matt\_mcl: Look at that chick’s ass! I’d do her in a hearbeat! What, so we’re interchangeable now? ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/55 "2000-08-11T00:29:49Z")
Any (straight) female poster - That Monster104 guy is so cool that I’d date him in an instant if he wasn’t jailbait! Any (straight) male poster - That Monster104 guy is so cool, I wish I could be just like him! Any lesbian poster - That Monster104 guy is the only guy I would ever think of dating! Any gay poster - That hunk-o-buns Monster104 really turns me on! Too bad he’s jailbait and straight! Monster104 - Hey everybody, I’ve got the highest self-esteem here and would never say a degrading remark about myself! Any true Doper - Ignorance rules! And who the hell is Cecil Adams?? ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/56 "2000-08-11T00:50:44Z")
**matt\_mcl** : That’s it, I’m going celibate. And paganism is crap. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/57 "2000-08-11T01:43:36Z")
Mr. Cynical - I’ll bet I’m the first person to think of [this thread idea](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=29482&pagenumber=1)!! * * * Yer pal, Satan [sub]I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Four months, one day, 23 hours, 43 minutes and 18 seconds. 4959 cigarettes not smoked, saving $619.94. Life saved: 2 weeks, 3 days, 5 hours, 15 minutes.[/sub] **ATHENA HAD AN EROTIC DREAM ABOUT ME!!** ---
**Author:** ![Danielinthewolvesden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/58 "2000-08-11T01:44:33Z")
Cecil: I have decided to personally reply to everyone who mentions my name. Ed zotti; I’m tired of working for that attention grabbing egotist. mannie: No, on second thought, I’m taking that thread BACK. zev: “And, extra bacon on that cheeseburger, please” anniz: men, who needs them? Techchick: "It’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood… 🙂 " Dry: Shakespeare? THAT hack? I’m readin’ X-men only from now on! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/59 "2000-08-11T01:50:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > \*\ ***matt\_mcl** : That’s it, I’m going celibate. And paganism is crap. \*\* **andygirl:** I don’t care. If it doesn’t rhyme, it’s not poetry. And what the fuck is an orivation? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803/60 "2000-08-11T01:54:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monster104 \* > \*\*Any gay poster - That hunk-o-buns Monster104 really turns me on! Too bad he’s jailbait and straight! > \*\* No, no, no, Monster104. You’re supposed to think of things that people _wouldn’t_ say. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unlikely-doper-quotations/28803.md?page=4)