# Unproven private theories -- What's yours? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2003, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275 "2003-04-22T07:44:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/81 "2003-04-24T00:40:29Z")
That PETA is actually just a front organization for something…either money laundering, or they’re using PETA offices as KGB or Mob safehouses, or something. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/82 "2003-04-24T12:41:51Z")
The dreaming world exists when we are awake. After all, the waking world exists when we are dreaming. That psychic ability is simply your future self thinking about the “past,” which is the future to your present self. After all, since I started existing in the past, my future self also did. So my future self also exists now. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/83 "2003-04-24T13:34:10Z")
You know how when dogs beg for something, they sometimes raise one of their front paws? That’s a _lame_ posture. He’s instinctively trying to convince you that he’s having a problem with his front leg so you’ll feel sorry for him and give him some food. This has developed as an inborn behavior over the tens of thousands of years that dogs have been interacting with humans. It started when some ancient hunter-gatherer in Southeast Asia said “Aww, poor little guy hurt his paw? Let’s give him a bone.” ---
**Author:** ![BioHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3bc359/32.png) [@BioHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BioHazard)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/84 "2003-04-24T14:20:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Second Star to the Right \* > \*\*I’m convinced tollbooth operators have underground communities based around their respective tollbooths. I came up with this one day while riding in a friends car and observing a set of stairs between lanes that led underground to an unseen destination. I realized I’d never actually known anyone who worked in a tollbooth, or known of anyone, for that matter. > > It’s airtight, that theory. 🙂 \*\* I went to a high security industrial plant one time for a class and discovered that this is at least true for those tiny little guard booths at the entrance to parking lots. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fretful Porpentine \* > \*\*1) I am obviously a Love Goddess. If I so much as toy with the idea of having a crush on any single male of my acquaintance, including ones who appear to be terminally single, within a matter of weeks this person will have Found True Love. With someone who isn’t me. > \*\* Have a crush on me pretty pretty PWEASE!!! More theories: Cleveland, OH has a huge underground city of tunnels and huge chambers that have pretty much been abandoned. I have evidence for this too, I worked for a company that worked for the city and have been in some amazing places under Ceveland. All life and civilisation on this planet is only one huge social experiment being run by an extreemly inteligent, extreemly advanced race of aliens that just so happend to look like the average house cat. The Universe was just created yesterday as some type of Cosmic Joke and will End tomarro. It only seems like we have a history, memories, etc etc because thats how everything was created. (Read “Strata” by Terry Pratchet) ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/85 "2003-04-24T15:28:12Z")
These are contrary to current medical doctrine (or not mentioned at all). Personally, I’d love to see some of them tested in research. Excess Vit. C exacerbates chronic urinary tract infections, and calcium reduces them. (This comes from a pamphlet in a Dr.s offices that stated that E. Coli thrives in an acidic environment, and not in an alkaline one. Excess Vit. C is excreted in the urine, thus creating an acidic environment. According to a Calcium supplement bottle - not the best ref, I know - calcium creates an alkaline environment) Sex does not cause UTIs by reinfection, but by irritating something internally, maybe the urethra or bladder which allows a latent infection to flare up. (I think this because I have experienced flare-ups from other causes which could not be attributed to a re-infection, such as getting dehydrated) I did warn you this could be TMI, didn’t I? Fibroids do not cause problems because of mechanical explanations (which is what I always got - the fibroid caused excessive bleeding because it made the uterine lining larger) They cause problems because they generate excessive amounts of prostaglandins which control the different stages of menstruation. [Here](http://www.e-prostaglandin.com/) is a link that confirms the role of prostoglandins in menstruation. My final theory is that high cholesterol contributes to bad periods - when I was having problems with this, I reduced them by controlling my saturated fat intake. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/86 "2003-04-24T15:40:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Have a crush on me pretty pretty PWEASE!!! Well, I’ll try. It’s a bit hard when you don’t actually know the person in real life, although there have been exceptions; indeed, I suspect that several Doper couples owe their happiness to me. (No, I’m not going to say who.) ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/87 "2003-04-24T15:51:30Z")
My theory is that everything about this world is a figment of my imagination… All history and resulting situations and locations of mass did not exist before I came into being. After thinking about it for a while I figured its actually more likely than the theory that “its always been here”. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/88 "2003-04-24T15:58:15Z")
The word “The” is completely made up and shouldn’t be used in sentences… It was put there by a rouge dictionary writer and it stuck… ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/89 "2003-04-24T15:59:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by clayton\_e \* > \*\*My theory is that everything about this world is a figment of my imagination… All history and resulting situations and locations of mass did not exist before I came into being. After thinking about it for a while I figured its actually more likely than the theory that “its always been here”. \*\* Isn’t that called Solipsism? ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/90 "2003-04-24T16:14:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Meatros \* > \*\*It was put there by a rouge dictionary writer and it stuck… \*\* You mean he wore red 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/91 "2003-04-24T16:32:58Z")
My theory is that men, and my husband in particular, think that the uterus is some sort of infallable storehouse of all knowledge. I am “She who surrounds the uterus” - the high priestess, as it were - Therefore, I must know the answer to any and all his inane questions. Such as “Fount of all Knowledge, where did I leave my watch?” or, when holding up a random pair of boxers, “Oh Great Uterus Priestess, Are these clean?” I swear to Og, the next time he pulls a random container out of the refrigerator, ponders it, then holds it up for me to smell and asks “Is this still good?”, I’m filing the divorce paperwork. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/92 "2003-04-24T16:48:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by garius \* > \*\*You mean he wore red 😃 \*\* D’oh!! :smack: That’s what I get for posting quickly at work… ---
**Author:** ![BioHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3bc359/32.png) [@BioHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BioHazard)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/93 "2003-04-25T21:03:42Z")
Another theory: As soon as you think you know all the SDMB lingo at least three more Acronyms show up that you have no clue about. WHAT DOES TMI MEAN??? ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/94 "2003-04-25T21:12:21Z")
Too Much Information ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/95 "2003-04-25T21:14:30Z")
Talking to plants only works because you’re breathing CO[sub]2[/sub] directly onto them, which encourages growth. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/96 "2003-04-26T00:04:08Z")
The Amish are planning to take over America (they were ready to attack if Y2K happened). ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/97 "2003-04-26T00:15:11Z")
Computers understand the ways of humans much better than we think they do, and they are secretly making fun of us behind our backs. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/98 "2003-04-26T02:14:14Z")
My theory is that rain makes birds suicidal. They _only_ fly in front of my car on wet mornings. ---
**Author:** ![Roadwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@Roadwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadwalker)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/99 "2003-04-26T02:58:57Z")
everybody _always_ has the hiccups. Sometimes there are long spaces between them. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275/100 "2003-04-26T03:11:30Z")
**Rover From Outer Space…** After years of observing, I am confident to report that dogs are here on this planet as either observers/researchers or refugees from Some Other Place. They gather data by sniffing everything, tasting everything and marking their research territory with the dread dog farts. (This is also in re_butt_al to buying cheap dog food too because you monkey person upgraded to HBO and had to make cutbacks somewhere. Take _that_ PPPPPPPPPPPST\*, ) Their offical way of greeting someone from their home planet is through Butt Sniffing and they have ESP, enabling them to stare at you with those big brown eyes until you do their bidding. They would plan to take over the planet except it would directly interfere with napping in incovenient places and public licking of genitals. And, some Dog-Alien types rode the short bus to this planet if you know what I mean. Earth is to Dog-Aliens what Australia was to Ex-cons and socialital rejects 200 years ago. \*\*In other Ujest propoganda - \*\* There is a control device that alerts the All News/Traffic/Weather Station in my area to alert me, the driver, of a massive clusterfuck pile up on the highway, just after I passed the last possible exit to avoid the Massive Clusterfuck Pile Up. If a new appliance comes into the house ( replacing an old one) another appliance that has been faithful to you will suddenly go berzerk with NAE ( New Appliance Envy ™), costing you either frustration, money or, more than likely, both. Toilets are particularly sensitive to NPE™, as all they get all day is crap. \*\*TMI \*\* means _‘Tom Makes Ice Cream’_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unproven-private-theories-whats-yours/170275.md?page=6)