# Untruths you believe **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 16, 2010, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464 "2010-08-16T22:54:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/21 "2010-08-17T20:32:10Z")
That things deliberately happen wrong to delay you whenever you are in a hurry. This could be a corollary of Sattua and begbert’s rules; not only do inaminate objects fall over to make you mad, they try to be evil, and on top of that, will always need service/supplies/refilling exactly when you need them most. Heck, the whole universe conspires to slow you up when you are in a hurry. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/22 "2010-08-17T20:33:08Z")
That all the other people on the roads are idiots! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/23 "2010-08-17T20:36:38Z")
That punching, kicking, or otherwise striking inanimate objects which have recently caused me physical pain makes them somewhat less likely to do so in the future. Granted, I only believe this for the three seconds immediately following stubbing my toe or somesuch, but hey, that’s all it takes. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/24 "2010-08-17T20:37:59Z")
That starting to swear will make my keys magically appear on the console table, even if I just checked five minutes before, with no luck. That my husband feels it’s his duty to start a long, involved conversation with me when I have a huge load of laundry in my arms at 11 p.m. and have one foot on the stairs. Oh, and that he and the kids have secret spidey senses to tell them when I’m in the shower or bathroom. As soon as I’ve settled in for an unterrupted shower/pee/anything else, I hear my son calling me, the baby screaming or my husband asking me where something is or bellowing for help with the screaming baby. Ah, well. At least I feel needed. Urgh. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/25 "2010-08-17T20:38:31Z")
> [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > > [@tdn](#): > > > > Well, damn. Peoplebots, **she’s** on to us. Deactivate! Deactivate! > > He. But you already knew that. (bolding mine) 😉 Oh boy. Your debriefing is going to be a little more complicated than we thought. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/26 "2010-08-17T20:39:55Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > That things deliberately happen wrong to delay you whenever you are in a hurry. This could be a corollary of Sattua and begbert’s rules; not only do inaminate objects fall over to make you mad, they try to be evil, and on top of that, will always need service/supplies/refilling exactly when you need them most. Heck, the whole universe conspires to slow you up when you are in a hurry. Well, in addition to the malevolent sentience of obvious (we yell at them because it _helps_) I will aslo add that Murphy’s Law is not only true in a predictive sense, but also in a functional sense - it can be used to control outcomes. That is, if I bring an umbrella, then the universe is less likely to bother to make it rain on me, whereas if I forget it, I should expect to get wet. If you were to point out that there would be problematic issues when two people were there, one with an umbrella and one without, I would remind you that you haven’t proven that I’m not the center of the universe yet. Not to say that **Onomatopoeia** is correct (or rather as correct as a simalcrum of a human can be), but even if there are other ‘real’ people out there scattered amongst the homunculi, then there’s no reason to think that the universe cares about them the way it does me. (And yes, I’m playing this thread straight. All these beliefs play around the edges of my mind.) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/27 "2010-08-17T20:40:21Z")
> [@Roland\_Orzabal](#): > > That punching, kicking, or otherwise striking inanimate objects which have recently caused me physical pain makes them somewhat less likely to do so in the future. I do that when I bite my cheek. Not a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/28 "2010-08-17T20:46:24Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > > [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > > > He. But you already knew that. (bolding mine) 😉 > > Oh boy. Your debriefing is going to be a little more complicated than we thought. I think you meant deprogramming, and no, you’re not fooling me with these weak attempts at misdirection. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/29 "2010-08-17T21:07:24Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I do that when I bite my cheek. Not a good thing. What, you punch yourself in the teeth afterward? Yeah, that might not be advisable. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/30 "2010-08-17T21:09:44Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Well, in addition to the malevolent sentience of **obvious** -bolding mine; that should have been “objects”. See what I’ve been telling you about this computer? It’s out to humiliate me. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/31 "2010-08-17T22:42:19Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > (And yes, I’m playing this thread straight. As am I. > [@begbert2](#): > > All these beliefs play around the edges of my mind.) A little deeper than the edges for me, but it helps balance world, so that’s okay. Scary, aint it? ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/32 "2010-08-17T22:48:15Z")
> [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > every single human being, are all non sentient constructs here to give me the illusion of living in a world populated by billions of beings like myself We even created a word for it: [solipsism](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solipsism). Meta, huh? Mine is that everybody wants to take time out of their busy day to engage my cutie pie of a two year old in one of his games. The latest one is pointing out cars on the street. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/33 "2010-08-17T23:00:23Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > > [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > > > every single human being, are all non sentient constructs here to give me the illusion of living in a world populated by billions of beings like myself > > We even created a word for it: [solipsism](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solipsism). Meta, huh? Pssst. If you read the bottom of the post you quoted, you’ll see that I mentioned just that. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Accident](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2010, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/34 "2010-08-17T23:48:49Z")
> [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](#): > > There are men who think more about having a quality relationship than having lots of sex. Hey, I’m one of those guys. I’m just as happy holding the lady I’m with while we talk as I am having sex. Back to the original topic, every mosquito in the world is living in my backyard. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/35 "2010-08-18T01:15:55Z")
> [@Mr.Accident](#): > > Hey, I’m one of those guys. I’m just as happy holding the lady I’m with while we talk as I am having sex. So you hold the lady and talk while you’re having sex? Works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Accident](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/36 "2010-08-18T01:23:57Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > ]So you hold the lady and talk while you’re having sex? > > Works for me. Sure, why not. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/37 "2010-08-18T01:47:45Z")
My wonderful little dog will never die. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/38 "2010-08-18T05:25:35Z")
> [@chacoguy](#): > > My wonderful little dog will never die. :eek: Aw, shit. I hadn’t even contemplated this, yet. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/39 "2010-08-18T05:31:06Z")
That barrettes and ponytail holders steal away in the dead of night, return to the barrette and ponytail holder factory to be repackaged, and force you to buy them over and over. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2010, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464/40 "2010-08-18T05:31:29Z")
That I’m a _lot_ smarter than most other people. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/untruths-you-believe/550464.md?page=3)