# Unused Story Titles **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 8, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104 "2000-10-08T00:50:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/1 "2000-10-08T00:50:57Z")
Philip Jose Farmer has a list of great story titles that he can’t think up stories for. These include: “A Flock of Ducts” “Two Blue Einsteins” “Rule 42” (from _Alice in Wonderland_"All persons over a mile tall must exit the courtroom." He did later come up with ideas for “J.C. on the Dude Ranch” (one of my favorites) “The Sound of Sonar in My Vermiform Appendix.” What’s your great unused story title? ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/2 "2000-10-08T01:22:06Z")
Mine has to be “Confessions of a Closet Croissant Eater” It just sounds like a great chick story, you know? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/3 "2000-10-08T01:23:15Z")
“The Onion Slaw.” I think I’d need Edward Gorey to illustrate it. ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/4 "2000-10-08T01:25:34Z")
My SO and I have a book due out this month which was originally titled _Sweetie and the Leatherman_. IMNSHO that sounds alarmingly like a soft porn movie ;). It was retitled to _I am Leatherman_ which I don’t think is much better, especially as it is a YA novel. ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/5 "2000-10-08T01:27:38Z")
“The Last of the Monkeyhicans” I don’t know what it would be about. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/6 "2000-10-08T01:28:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Primaflora \* > \*\* > > It was retitled to _I am Leatherman_ which I don’t think is much better, especially as it is a YA novel. \*\* You can call the sequel _Pocket Tool_. (How’s that for a soft-porn title?) ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/7 "2000-10-08T01:28:43Z")
It Doesn’t Taste Good. Frick and Frak Try Farming. Candy from the Sixth Dimension. From Littlegirl: Martha Stewart Stops Living. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/8 "2000-10-08T01:37:44Z")
Some more classic sequels: _Moby Duke_ _Under Walden Pond_ _Pride and Polygamy_ _Another Turn of The Screw_ _Up The Creek (the continuing adventures of Huck Finn)_ _Finnegan’s Bow Wave_ Another story title: “Ragnarok and Roll” (got used by a comic, what a waste) ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/9 "2000-10-08T01:41:18Z")
_The Cat in the Hat Gets Fixed_ _Piglet goes Feral_ (A very special Winnie the Pooh story) _It’s only Wok and Roll (but I wike it)_ (Chinese Cookbook) ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/10 "2000-10-08T01:55:02Z")
[li] **My** Turn At The Screw[/li] [li]The Role of Honesty In Politics[/li] [li]Analytical Creationism[/li] The Gourmet’s Guide To Fast Food ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/11 "2000-10-08T02:07:28Z")
_Zenster and the Art of Barbecue Maintenance_ (A touching story of a man reclaiming his own identity by cooking ribs.) ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/12 "2000-10-08T02:16:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > \*\*[li]The Role of Honesty In Politics[/li] \*\* so that would be a fiction piece then? ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/13 "2000-10-08T02:27:38Z")
_Adel Repent!_ ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2000, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unused-story-titles/36104/14 "2000-10-08T04:09:36Z")
This is a lot like the dave Barry inspired game, Great Unused Band Names’