# Unusual ways to relax. Mine is Lube Smithying. What's yours? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943 "2014-09-19T16:49:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/1 "2014-09-19T16:49:32Z")
When things get hectic in the middle of the day, after dealing with my patients’ random shankings, seizures, acute desires for opioid drugs and other countless laments, sometimes I just need 2 or 3 minutes to myself, to relax and find my focus again. Fortunately, I’ve found a way to combine my need to relax with useful work! In my business, I go thru a lot of tubes of surgilube. Gotta check a lot of nether orifices due to complaints of prostate trouble, bleeding, etc. etc. This results in the production of a lot of 3/4-squeezed tubes of surgilube with useful lube still in them. But they’re so bent up and deformed that the remaining lube is not easily expressable. And the office budget being what it is, we need that remaining lube! Enter my new mini-hobby! Lube Smithying! I take my reflex hammer, and hammer away at the tube, working my way from the distal end towards the proximal tip, straightening out all the bends, moving the useful lube distally, and making it accessible again. So satisfying! Yet productive! And better than hitting my patients with a hammer (well I do that too, but just on their knees.) How do you take a mini mental health break at work or elsewhere? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/2 "2014-09-19T16:53:35Z")
::backs away slowly, darts eyes at nearest exit:: ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/3 "2014-09-19T17:00:16Z")
My mini mental health breaks don’t (usually :D) involve lube, but I just wanted to say “thank you” for being the kind of person who throws the word “distal” around all casually like that. Also, for making me not hate my job so much, since “gotta check a lot of nether orifices” is not part of my job description, and I just don’t give enough thanks and gratitude to the cosmos for that fact. Now if you can explain why the human body has a kick reflex to being tapped at a sweet spot below the knee, for what seems like no discernible reason, my day will be complete. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/4 "2014-09-19T17:13:04Z")
I feel so mundane now. When I need to relax when I am working at my company’s site, when reading SDMB is not enough, I walk a mile on the footpath outside our building while reading on my iPad Mini. I mastered the art of reading while walking back when I was still printing articles from the internet for my walks. I haven’t tripped yet, and I’m known around the building as “that old guy who walks and reads at the same time”. When I’m working at home, like today, I just go downstairs and play guitar. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/5 "2014-09-19T17:19:06Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Now if you can explain why the human body has a kick reflex to being tapped at a sweet spot below the knee, for what seems like no discernible reason, my day will be complete. Yes, please. I’ve always wondered this too. For me just going outside and staring at the world helps. I stare at a computer screen all day at work and I love playing video games so many nights I’m staring at a computer screen. Just going out on the balcony and sitting in my rocking chair for a spell while just looking at the world helps to ease my brain. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/6 "2014-09-19T17:20:14Z")
It must be nice to have a job that lets you “work the lube-hammer” in your spare time. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/7 "2014-09-19T17:22:21Z")
\*Under a spreading chestnut-tree Doc **Qadcop** ’s office stands; The Doc, a mighty man is he, With large and sinewy hands; And the muscles of his brawny arms Are strong as iron bands. His fingers long, and sure and strong His face is like the tan; His wrist is lubed, shot from a tube, He probes whate’er he can, And looks the whole world in the face, When he’s not looking up their can. Toiling,–rejoicing,–sorrowing, Up their butts he goes; Each morning sees some rectum delved, Each evening sees it close Medically sanctioned sodomy, Has earned a night’s repose. Thanks, thanks to thee, my worthy friend, For the wisdom thou dost dump! Thus on that paper-covered table My chest and back you thump And latex-covered well-greased hand Goes probing up my rump.\* [Cite.](http://www.hwlongfellow.org/poems_poem.php?pid=38) Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/8 "2014-09-19T17:24:22Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > When things get hectic in the middle of the day, after dealing with my patients’ random shankings, seizures, acute desires for opioid drugs and other countless laments, sometimes I just need 2 or 3 minutes to myself, to relax and find my focus again. > > Fortunately, I’ve found a way to combine my need to relax with useful work! > > In my business, I go thru a lot of tubes of surgilube. Gotta check a lot of nether orifices due to complaints of prostate trouble, bleeding, etc. etc. This results in the production of a lot of 3/4-squeezed tubes of surgilube with useful lube still in them. But they’re so bent up and deformed that the remaining lube is not easily expressable. And the office budget being what it is, we need that remaining lube! > > Enter my new mini-hobby! Lube Smithying! > > I take my reflex hammer, and hammer away at the tube, working my way from the distal end towards the proximal tip, straightening out all the bends, moving the useful lube distally, and making it accessible again. So satisfying! Yet productive! And better than hitting my patients with a hammer (well I do that too, but just on their knees.) > > How do you take a mini mental health break at work or elsewhere? Reading your posts. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/9 "2014-09-19T17:24:53Z")
\*\* Shodan\*\*Now that would look good in needle-point on the the office wall. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/10 "2014-09-19T17:34:21Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > \*Under a spreading chestnut-tree > Doc **Qadcop** ’s office stands; > The Doc, a mighty man is he, > With large and sinewy hands; > And the muscles of his brawny arms > Are strong as iron bands. I bow at this greatness. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/11 "2014-09-19T17:37:20Z")
Thanks, but put on this surgical gown before you bend over. Now just relax… Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/12 "2014-09-19T17:38:16Z")
Did I mention my [musical Anoscope](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMjI-cMn_ag)? Anoscopes get used more than fingers; and I only use one finger when digits are appropriate. Never two fingers. Fists are right out. Let’s be civilized about this, folks! I so wish my office was under a chestnut tree. . . thanks for the loverly pome, **Shodan**. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/13 "2014-09-19T17:42:01Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > When things get hectic in the middle of the day, after dealing with my patients’ random shankings, seizures, acute desires for opioid drugs and other countless laments, sometimes I just need 2 or 3 minutes to myself, to relax and find my focus again. > > Fortunately, I’ve found a way to combine my need to relax with useful work! > > In my business, I go thru a lot of tubes of surgilube. Gotta check a lot of nether orifices due to complaints of prostate trouble, bleeding, etc. etc. This results in the production of a lot of 3/4-squeezed tubes of surgilube with useful lube still in them. But they’re so bent up and deformed that the remaining lube is not easily expressable. And the office budget being what it is, we need that remaining lube! > > Enter my new mini-hobby! Lube Smithying! > > I take my reflex hammer, and hammer away at the tube, working my way from the distal end towards the proximal tip, straightening out all the bends, moving the useful lube distally, and making it accessible again. So satisfying! Yet productive! And better than hitting my patients with a hammer (well I do that too, but just on their knees.) > > How do you take a mini mental health break at work or elsewhere? Bubble wrap. I tried to recycle some that was left on the counter once and one of my coworkers said “Nooo, I need that, I’m working with Dr. SoAndSo tonight.” I understood and left her with the bubble wrap. Thanks for the idea on the lube though, sounds like ideal busy work for some of my coworkers. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/14 "2014-09-19T17:52:57Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Now if you can explain why the human body has a kick reflex to being tapped at a sweet spot below the knee, for what seems like no discernible reason, my day will be complete. The tap artificially induces the muscles there to stretch and your body reacts by sending a message back telling the muscles to contract. They do, and since they’re on the front of your leg and they’re getting shorter, they pull the leg up with them, and that movement we’ve termed a kick. Why this particular reflex developed, I can’t say, although I imagine it has to do with balance and that it can be activated by striking the knee is a coincidence. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/15 "2014-09-19T19:45:17Z")
Right now, I am supposed to be reading a particularly sticky argument my collaborator claims is correct. Instead, I reading TSD. That’s what I do. Or another round of Free Space. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/16 "2014-09-19T20:43:41Z")
Hello? Is a Mr **Shodan** here? I have an order of one (1) internet to be signed for. That was seriously awesome. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/17 "2014-09-19T20:46:14Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > In my business, I go thru a lot of tubes of surgilube. Gotta check a lot of nether orifices… I didn’t know you worked for the TSA! ---
**Author:** ![Grrlbrarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrlbrarian/32/4048_2.png) [@Grrlbrarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrlbrarian)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/18 "2014-09-19T20:54:53Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > \*Under a spreading chestnut-tree > Doc **Qadcop** ’s office stands; > The Doc, a mighty man is he, > \ [Cite.](http://www.hwlongfellow.org/poems_poem.php?pid=38) > > Regards, > Shodan You, sir, are my hero. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/19 "2014-09-19T21:12:02Z")
You know, **QtM** , some of that lube remains in the various orifices after the exam. It, too, could probably be expressed and re-tubed. I’ve seen similar, um, processes in some, um , educational films. Use of the hammer, though, is right out. Probably. Lube Smithey and Lube Re-Tubing. Outstanding hobbies and great conversation starters! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2014, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/20 "2014-09-19T21:15:36Z")
I cut pieces of paper in half with a paper cutter. I go through a lot of scratch paper at work, and while we are well-supplied with notepads and things, I prefer to be frugal and also be green and reduce-reuse-recycle. Better to find a second use for those those nearly empty sheets that come out of the printer with that one last line of somebody’s email sig or whatever before throwing them in the bin. Or maybe I have a bunch of things that I can get rid of that are printed on the top-half only, making the bottom halves perfectly suitable for a re-use as scratch paper. It’s really a very sensible thing to do. But the REAL reason I cut pieces of paper in half to use as scratch paper is that I genuinely enjoy using a paper cutter. Thwunk-thwunk-thwunk. Relaxing AND useful! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943.md?page=2)