# Unusual ways to relax. Mine is Lube Smithying. What's yours? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943 "2014-09-19T16:49:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2014, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/41 "2014-09-22T09:08:19Z")
> [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](#): > > When things get tense in my workplace, we saran-wrap random cars in the parking lot. Works off a lot of frustration and stress, and is soooo entertaining to watch people trying to get into their cars at day’s end. 😃 I read cars as cats. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JayRx1981](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71e660/32.png) [@JayRx1981](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JayRx1981)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2014, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/42 "2014-09-22T11:18:55Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > When things get hectic in the middle of the day, after dealing with my patients’ random shankings, seizures, acute desires for opioid drugs and other countless laments, sometimes I just need 2 or 3 minutes to myself, to relax and find my focus again. > > Fortunately, I’ve found a way to combine my need to relax with useful work! > > In my business, I go thru a lot of tubes of surgilube. Gotta check a lot of nether orifices due to complaints of prostate trouble, bleeding, etc. etc. This results in the production of a lot of 3/4-squeezed tubes of surgilube with useful lube still in them. But they’re so bent up and deformed that the remaining lube is not easily expressable. And the office budget being what it is, we need that remaining lube! > > Enter my new mini-hobby! Lube Smithying! > > I take my reflex hammer, and hammer away at the tube, working my way from the distal end towards the proximal tip, straightening out all the bends, moving the useful lube distally, and making it accessible again. So satisfying! Yet productive! And better than hitting my patients with a hammer (well I do that too, but just on their knees.) > > How do you take a mini mental health break at work or elsewhere? You’ve given me an idea on how to maximize the amount of cream I get out of tubes when compounding now. Thanks! 😃 My mini mental break? I read something brain related, be it a textbook, article, or scientific paper on neurology, addiction medicine, psychopharmacology, etc. Even if I never fully understand the human (or mouse) brain, every tiny little bit of new info makes me feel like I’m just a little step closer to understanding my own mental reactions to circumstances and stress. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/43 "2014-09-24T03:36:57Z")
I’m in Bangkok. I don’t think you want to know. ---
**Author:** ![ruh-roh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ruh-roh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruh-roh)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/44 "2014-09-24T15:16:16Z")
I quit arguing with those other voices in my head and just sit back and do as I’m told. ---
**Author:** ![Meurglys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/258eb7/32.png) [@Meurglys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meurglys)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/45 "2014-09-24T16:18:22Z")
I’m self employed and don’t take many breaks, but there’s a pub right next door! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/46 "2014-09-24T16:46:14Z")
I should add that another useful step is running the tube under hot water for a bit before beginning. Helps soften up everything and prep it for the hammering. Not required, but it makes the job a bit easier. As for the tube-compressing clips: those would take away all my fun! My stethescope needs oiling too, but that’s a once every year or two sort of event. Even so, a nice diversion. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/47 "2014-09-24T16:50:43Z")
Be sure to let us know when you oil up your stethoscope\*\* again. We’ll run around throwing confetti and blowing on those little New Year’s Eve noisemakers for your big event. \*\* I guess that’s what the cool kids are calling it these days. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/48 "2014-09-24T17:01:07Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > We’ll run around throwing confetti and blowing on those little New Year’s Eve noisemakers for your big event. That’s what the [Musical Anoscope](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMjI-cMn_ag) of my earlier post is for. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2014, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/49 "2014-09-25T04:37:53Z")
Ever consider the fine art of lube winging? [Behold! You will get every single last drop now](http://www.dickblick.com/products/tube-wringer/) ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2014, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/50 "2014-09-28T01:51:42Z")
Paperwork. When I start getting wound too tight over what ever project I’m working on at the moment, I fill out forms, and complete logs, and file records, and send out notifications. Most people hate paperwork, but I find it soothing; it’s so concrete. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/51 "2015-07-29T17:43:13Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > When things get hectic in the middle of the day, after dealing with my patients’ random shankings, seizures, acute desires for opioid drugs and other countless laments, sometimes I just need 2 or 3 minutes to myself, to relax and find my focus again. > > Fortunately, I’ve found a way to combine my need to relax with useful work! > > In my business, I go thru a lot of tubes of surgilube. Gotta check a lot of nether orifices due to complaints of prostate trouble, bleeding, etc. etc. This results in the production of a lot of 3/4-squeezed tubes of surgilube with useful lube still in them. But they’re so bent up and deformed that the remaining lube is not easily expressable. And the office budget being what it is, we need that remaining lube! > > Enter my new mini-hobby! Lube Smithying! > > I take my reflex hammer, and hammer away at the tube, working my way from the distal end towards the proximal tip, straightening out all the bends, moving the useful lube distally, and making it accessible again. So satisfying! Yet productive! And better than hitting my patients with a hammer (well I do that too, but just on their knees.) > > How do you take a mini mental health break at work or elsewhere? Several years ago I became somewhat obsessed with the lubrication potential of snail slime. What facinated me about it so much was that it could dry up and by simply wetting with a small amount of water it could be instantly reactivated, very non messy and non staining as well. I thought it might have some medical uses as well as the obvious sexual uses. A micro thin film can provide a very effective lubricant action. Harvesting the slime became my biggest challenge. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/52 "2015-07-29T18:03:39Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Several years ago I became somewhat obsessed with the lubrication potential of snail slime. What facinated me about it so much was that it could dry up and by simply wetting with a small amount of water it could be instantly reactivated, very non messy and non staining as well. I thought it might have some medical uses as well as the obvious sexual uses. A micro thin film can provide a very effective lubricant action. Harvesting the slime became my biggest challenge. OMG, are you on your way to discovering [Slurm](http://futurama.wikia.com/wiki/Slurm)???!?!!!?? If so, the past truly is prelude!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/53 "2015-07-29T18:06:51Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Harvesting the slime became my biggest challenge. You’re in luck. The first GOP debates are just around the corner. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/54 "2015-07-29T18:54:26Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Did I mention my [musical Anoscope](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMjI-cMn_ag)?.. Turns any anus into a cow bell. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/55 "2015-07-29T19:59:04Z")
Mine only works once a month. We have no lube or slime, here, but we do have fire extinguishers and they do need to be inspected once a month. It’s a short walk with a pen. I’ve never seen one that wasn’t just fine, but I’ve been told that if OSHA visits the fine is $500 each for every extinguisher with a tag that isn’t up to date. So I’m saving us $500 x 5 extinguishers x the odds of being inspected. Assuming a one in a million chance, that’s a quarter of a cent each month. I’ve been doing it for about ten years, so I’ve saved over thirty cents. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/56 "2015-07-29T20:23:50Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > ::backs away slowly, darts eyes at nearest exit:: Pretty much this. I’m picturing him wearing an apron and goggles, hammering tubes of lube with a small maul, laughing like a maniac with punk rock blaring in the background. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/57 "2015-07-29T20:27:29Z")
Why don’t you just shove the little tubes up your patients’ asses and squeeze them empty? I for one don’t want to share someone else’s sloppy seconds lube. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/58 "2015-07-29T22:07:51Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I’m picturing him wearing an apron and goggles, hammering tubes of lube with a small maul, laughing like a maniac with punk rock blaring in the background. Pretty close, but Pink Floyd would be blaring in the background. Or the soundtrack from “Rocky Horror Picture Show”. And it’s a surgical gown, not an apron. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2015, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/59 "2015-07-30T03:22:41Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Turns any anus into a cow bell. I wouldn’t worry. After a couple of loud and unexpected anvil hammer-to-anvil bangs coming from behind the open end of the patient’s examination robe, I’m betting everything will close & clench right up. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943/60 "2015-07-30T20:09:17Z")
What’s the process for nominating \*\*Shodan \*\*to the SMDB Poet Laureate post? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unusual-ways-to-relax-mine-is-lube-smithying-whats-yours/698943.md?page=4)