# Unwelcome crushes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 31, 2003, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwelcome-crushes/151813 "2003-01-31T04:46:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwelcome-crushes/151813/21 "2003-01-31T20:35:30Z")
I don’t wear perfume. Can’t stand the stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwelcome-crushes/151813/22 "2003-01-31T20:37:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*Open marriage. Unfortunately, the guy knows that. \*\* Hmm. Maybe you can scare him off by saying something like, “Sure, how about a four-way? You, me, my husband, and the dog!” On second thought, maybe you better not. He sounds like the type that would go for it. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwelcome-crushes/151813/23 "2003-01-31T22:49:31Z")
From my experience with “alternative” SO situations (my first marriage was quasi open - but not healthy, and I was once briefly involved with a married man), the women in them attract strange jerks who assume that since you “put up” with your husband/boyfriend “sleeping around” you are open to sleeping with just about anyone/anything. (Sorry about the quotes, I’m trying to indicate their view - not what I think about Opal’s marriage - knowing that healthy open marriages don’t involve either “putting up with” the situation or “sleeping around”). A similar type of guy (perhaps an overlapping set) is the type that assume that since you aren’t dating anyone, you are willing to sleep with then. At least, that’s what I get from the “Wanna do it?” pick up lines when the response to no is “why not, you don’t have a boyfriend.” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwelcome-crushes/151813/24 "2003-01-31T23:54:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*Ha! > > I’ve had strange co-workers send _OTHER_ strange co-workers to tell me of their lust. > > Ya wanna talk about creepy! “_But - he really **LIKES** you…_” Yeek! :eek: \*\* Must be that awesome rack of yours. ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwelcome-crushes/151813/25 "2003-02-01T00:03:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*Must be that awesome rack of yours. \*\* Hey Alice, NoClueBoy told me to tell you that he likes you. ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwelcome-crushes/151813/26 "2003-02-01T00:10:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*Must be that awesome rack of yours. \*\* Hey Alice, NoClueBoy told me to tell you that he likes you. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwelcome-crushes/151813/27 "2003-02-01T00:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > Especially considering that the last guy to tell me he had erotic dreams about me then proceeded to unzip his pants and try to force my shirt off. I had him arrested for sexual assault. That _would_ make you a bit nervous when that phrase popped up again. Good for you for pressing charges, though. ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwelcome-crushes/151813/28 "2003-02-01T00:59:38Z")
Wow! Opal always manages to beat out all my stories! I had a woman in my apartment house fixate on me in a creepy way. It started out with her always finding some excuse to drop by every day or two. “Oh, do you mind if I see if your phone is working” or “I just was wondering if my music is too loud. Could I come and see how it sounds up here?”. I should mention that I was twenty and she was about forty and looked uncannily like ‘Vera’ from that old TV show “Alice”. Also, this was just sort of a big house converted to apartments by floor, so it was rather a cozy situation that could get awkward quickly, so I didn’t want to confront her. Anyway, then she starts finding ways to draw me into her apartment. Mostly to fix things which invariably were either just unplugged or had fuses suspiciously tripped. “Oh I feel _so_ silly about this. I’m just not a mechanical person. I wish I had a man in my life to fix things like this”. Once she shows up at my door dressed only in a bathrobe. “Theres a rat in my apartment! Can I sleep on your couch tonight?”. I mentioned that I didn’t think that would appropriate, so like a dunce I allow myself to be dragged to her apartment armed with a plastic whiffle-ball bat to search for a non-existant rat. “It must have run off!” The final straw was when she _knew_ I had a girl over for dinner, so she set off her smoke detector, knowing I would come to investigate. The next day I very gently asked her to please not bother me any more – those exact words and nothing else. She just sort of sank and looked as though she would cry. I lived in that apartment for another three years and didn’t see her again even once. Not taking out the garbage, not getting groceries, not picking up tha mail. Like she just dissappeared. I probably shouldn’t, but I’ve never felt more awful about anything I’ve ever done. ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwelcome-crushes/151813/29 "2003-02-01T01:16:31Z")
Sheesh. I mentioned **Opal** _and_ **Swiddles** in the same post in that “alternate universe: who’s your Doper SO” (extreme paraphrase). Why do I feel like the creepy guy now ? 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwelcome-crushes/151813.md?page=1)