# Unwilling to give oral- should I dump him? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 8, 2006, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966 "2006-06-08T22:27:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/41 "2006-06-09T21:45:59Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd] That would be nice on a cross-stitch sampler. [/QUOTE] [You knew it was out there, didn’t you?](http://www.subversivecrossstitch.com/howto/index.html) OK, not that exact one ---
**Author:** ![Amaranta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Amaranta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amaranta)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/42 "2006-06-09T23:06:36Z")
I’m not going to answer your question directly, as that’s been done very well by others in this thread. However, my #1 rule about this: - Do not break up with someone because the sex is bad UNLESS you have an available fall-back option. Unless the sex is absolutely terrible, decent sex is better than no sex. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/43 "2006-06-09T23:09:43Z")
[QUOTE=Chez Guevara] Here’s my orgasm and it’s all your fault. [/QUOTE] I don’t know why, but that cracked me up. 😃 As for the OP, definitely talk to him about it. Start off positive: “I really love it when you go down on me, is there any reason you haven’t been doing it lately?” This will hopefully avoid putting him on the defensive. If that doesn’t work, just start flicking his testicles really hard every time you go down on him from now on. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/44 "2006-06-09T23:22:24Z")
You know, some guys’ taste in women is lousy and then some guys have lousy tasting women. Just sayin’ ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/45 "2006-06-09T23:29:41Z")
Any last lingering slivers of heterosexuality I might have had have been obliterated by this thread. Now where did I put that brain bleach… ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/46 "2006-06-09T23:51:52Z")
[QUOTE=Giraffe] I don’t know why, but that cracked me up. 😃 As for the OP, definitely talk to him about it. Start off positive: “I really love it when you go down on me, is there any reason you haven’t been doing it lately?” This will hopefully avoid putting him on the defensive. If that doesn’t work, just start flicking his testicles really hard every time you go down on him from now on. [/QUOTE] Sure. Advice from a guy with a prehensil tongue. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/47 "2006-06-09T23:55:51Z")
[QUOTE=Amaranta] Do not break up with someone because the sex is bad [/QUOTE] No, of course not - break out the whip and train 'em right. I don’t believe it’s possible for a happy, solid couple who are comfortable with each other to have an absolutely horrible sex life. That’s the sort of thing you’re supposed to work at _together_, to make sure everyone’s happy with what’s going on. If the sex is bad, it can be improved, but you need to be able to discuss it. If you’re not happy, and you don’t speak up, then it’s just going to get worse. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/48 "2006-06-10T00:52:52Z")
I’ll go down on a girl lickety-split! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/49 "2006-06-10T01:04:14Z")
You need to talk to him, but also be prepared if the answer isn’t something you want to hear and have suggestions ready. for example - If he doesn’t like the smell - offer to shower first, but don’t be all hurt about it One small tip - some things you can eat make it taste better/worse. I have always had great results with grapes, ymmv ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/50 "2006-06-10T01:25:48Z")
I am so Fuckin’ - A lucky! 😃 But yeah, what they said. Talk about it. Don’t dump the poor guy until he’s had a fair chance to rectify the situation. Especailly because you sound super young, and a learning experience might just be what the doctor ordered. A nice night drinking wine and sitting outside together does the trick sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/51 "2006-06-10T02:29:11Z")
[QUOTE=Faruiza] rectify the situation [/QUOTE] Jeez, he won’t even do cunnilinugs and now you’re hoping for analingus?? ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/52 "2006-06-10T02:56:10Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.] I’ll go down on a girl lickety-split! 😛 [/QUOTE] I _so_ have to meet you someday. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/53 "2006-06-10T03:57:48Z")
[QUOTE=samclem] Sure. Advice from a guy with a prehensil tongue. 🙂 [/QUOTE] And really sore testicles… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![barking\_frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@barking\_frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/barking_frog)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/54 "2006-06-11T01:58:09Z")
Just shove his head down there, and if he doesn’t get the idea, then dump him. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/55 "2006-06-11T02:14:10Z")
Yes. Then come find me. ---
**Author:** ![ululate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/59ef9b/32.png) [@ululate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ululate)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/56 "2006-06-11T06:32:08Z")
[QUOTE=Ian Fan] Just shove his head down there, and if he doesn’t get the idea, then dump him. [/QUOTE] Would we all be reacting the same way if a guy was complaining about his girlfriend? ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/57 "2006-06-11T06:46:43Z")
[QUOTE=ululate] Would we all be reacting the same way if a guy was complaining about his girlfriend? [/QUOTE] Interesting question! Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![barking\_frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@barking\_frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/barking_frog)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/58 "2006-06-11T12:43:40Z")
[QUOTE=ululate] Would we all be reacting the same way if a guy was complaining about his girlfriend? [/QUOTE] I actually thought about this, and my conclusion was I would say the same thing, as long as it’s not actually forceful. As the OP said, it can be hard to communicate your needs verbally without some kind of consequences (depending on the people involved), whereas physical communication feels more natural. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/59 "2006-06-11T13:40:01Z")
I think this has been a fine thread - good advice, presented in an interesting way. 🆒 [QUOTE=Ghanima] Sometimes you just have to look your boyfriend right in the eye and in your best Mistress voice say, “I need you to lick my pussy RIGHT NOW! Get down there and lick my pussy!” Usually works for me. [/QUOTE] This sent shivers down my … spine. 😃 Anytime! …err unless I’m teaching :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966/60 "2006-06-11T14:02:15Z")
[QUOTE=Ian Fan] I actually thought about this, and my conclusion was I would say the same thing, as long as it’s not actually forceful. As the OP said, it can be hard to communicate your needs verbally without some kind of consequences (depending on the people involved), whereas physical communication feels more natural. [/QUOTE] Maybe physical communication is more “natural”, but if anyone starts trying to push my head downwards, no matter how gently, I will be _insulted_. Tell me what you want, or show by example, but don’t you be pushing my face into your crotch. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unwilling-to-give-oral-should-i-dump-him/359966.md?page=4)