# Up in tree, tigers circling, beavers chewing **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 13, 2014, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220 "2014-10-13T17:31:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/1 "2014-10-13T17:31:13Z")
I borrow this from Archie Goodwin. But say you are in said tree. Man eating tigers circling, beavers chewing tree. You get one TV character, one who when you see him or her, you know you are saved. Saul Panzer is busy doing Warehouse 13. sorry. No superheroes. Must be moderately realistic. TV realistic. No Arrow, etc. I say Leroy Jethro Gibbs. what say you? ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/2 "2014-10-13T18:03:34Z")
I’ll assume that the rules in the OP exclude The Doctor…so I’ll go with Angus MacGyver. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/3 "2014-10-13T18:09:09Z")
Tarzan may not qualify, so I’ll go with anyone carrying a gun. Not a bad guy with a gun though, they can’t hit anyone. Marshall Dillon maybe, or the Rifleman. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/4 "2014-10-13T18:10:28Z")
Sam Axe. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/5 "2014-10-13T18:21:15Z")
Sully from _ **Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman** _. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/6 "2014-10-13T18:36:54Z")
Chief Ironside would be good. I don’t have to outrun the tigers … ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/7 "2014-10-13T20:09:40Z")
The Rat Patrol with their machine-gun jeeps. Or any single one of them, with a Tommy-Gun. **TriPolar** ’s suggestion of Marshall Dillon or The Rifleman is very good. Has the great Shikari, Sebastian Moran, been a TV character? Napoleon Solo or Illya Kuryakin, with either the U.N.C.L.E. carbine or the THRUSH rifle. Maybe the latter, 'cause Illya’s wittier to chat with later, and the rifle has a night-sight scope. ---
**Author:** ![SykoSkotty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SykoSkotty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SykoSkotty)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/8 "2014-10-13T20:10:42Z")
Two words: CHUCK NORRIS. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/9 "2014-10-13T20:12:14Z")
> [@SykoSkotty](#): > > Two words: > > CHUCK NORRIS. Thank you. You are a wise colleague. /Thread closed. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/10 "2014-10-13T20:13:48Z")
Lassie. She never lost a fight with another animal. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/11 "2014-10-13T20:24:41Z")
Justin Wilson ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/12 "2014-10-13T20:30:11Z")
Steve Irwin. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/13 "2014-10-13T20:34:03Z")
MacGyver. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/14 "2014-10-13T20:35:28Z")
Why aren’t the tigers eating the beavers? Sounds like a problem that would take care of itself. > [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Steve Irwin. Just who I was going to take. Jack Hanna would work also. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/15 "2014-10-13T20:44:07Z")
> [@SykoSkotty](#): > > Two words: > > CHUCK NORRIS. Not a TV character. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/16 "2014-10-13T20:46:14Z")
> [@Aquadementia](#): > > Why aren’t the tigers eating the beavers? Sounds like a problem that would take care of itself. > . A wizard did it. Go with the flow, dude. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/17 "2014-10-13T20:50:59Z")
I want to change my answer to Davy Crockett. He was a TV character and a real guy! ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/18 "2014-10-13T21:20:23Z")
Elly May Clampett She’d turn them all into pets. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/19 "2014-10-13T21:28:53Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > Elly May Clampett > She’d turn them all into pets. Andrew Zimmern of _Bizarre Foods_. He’d turn them all into snacks. yes, I know: not a fictional character. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2014, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220/20 "2014-10-13T21:38:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Man eating tigers circling, beavers chewing tree. Well, since the man is eating the circling tigers, and the tree only chews beavers and not people, it sounds to me like I should be able to escape on my own. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/up-in-tree-tigers-circling-beavers-chewing/701220.md?page=2)