# Upcoming "Beowulf" movie - any good? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 15, 2007, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835 "2007-10-15T21:12:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/21 "2007-10-16T12:37:09Z")
[QUOTE=Lightray] If someone who knew what they were speaking of described this movie as “hardly any worse than the 13th Warrior”, I’d go see it right away. [/QUOTE] I was thinking the same thing myself. Maybe she comes from an alternate universe where the 13th Warrior wasn’t awesome? I’d check to make sure she doesn’t have a goatee. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/22 "2007-10-16T13:07:54Z")
[QUOTE=slortar] I was thinking the same thing myself. Maybe she comes from an alternate universe where the 13th Warrior wasn’t awesome? I’d check to make sure she doesn’t have a goatee. 🙂 [/QUOTE] So apparently there’s an awesome movie called _The 13th Warrior_, not to be confused with the movie with Antonio Banderas? This is exciting! ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/23 "2007-10-16T14:34:25Z")
So wait, people are irritated because Angelina Jolie shows up naked? And they’re complaining about her _acting abilities_? 😕 (Yeah, she’s got two of them! 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/24 "2007-10-16T15:32:40Z")
[QUOTE=Baldwin] So apparently there’s an awesome movie called _The 13th Warrior_, not to be confused with the movie with Antonio Banderas? This is exciting! [/QUOTE] Bizarro-Baldwin has spoken! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/25 "2007-10-16T15:33:54Z")
I _like The 13th Warrior_. And one of the things I like about it is that although it uses some themes from _Beowulf_, and was to an extent inspired by _Beowulf_, it doesn’t try to call itself _Beowulf_. I find the idea of a hot seductive evil Grendel’s Mom infuriating. It’s as though Zemeckis knows he won’t get people to come see his stupid movie if he doesn’t include a smokin’ starlet vamping things up. The infuriating part is he’s probably right. Only nerds like me, who are interested in more than sex in their movies (and are frankly squicked out at watching other people breathe heavily all over each other), want to see the original Grendel’s Mom, the evil draugr-like creature who promptly jumps on our hero and tries to rip his freaking head off. > [@Evil Captor](#): > > What’s next, Icelandic Sagas? That would be _awesome_. IF the producers and directors can resist the urge to insert random pairs of tits that serve no purpose other than to be random pairs of tits. I want to see over-the-top heroism and Viking battles and duels and fighting against odds and friendship and betrayal and dying nobly; if I want to see boobs I’ve got a pair of my own to look at. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/26 "2007-10-16T15:38:02Z")
What’s with all the recebnt versions of Beowulf? There have been about four of them in recent years, and that’s _since_ The 13th Warrior (which I liked, too. It’s based on a Crichton novel that I actually liked). None of the ones I’ve seen are terrifically faithful to the poem, but, on the other hand, I think the poem wouldn’t make a really good movie. (Now _Sir Gawaine and the Green Knight_ COULD make a good movie, although they haven’t made a good one yet. Not even Sword of the Valiant, even though it had Sean Connery as the Green Knight.) ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/27 "2007-10-16T15:49:45Z")
[QUOTE=Queen of Town] Well, it could hardly be any worse than “The 13th Warrior”, could it? [/QUOTE] It could, and almost certainly will be. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/28 "2007-10-16T15:58:07Z")
Hmmm. There was a ton of CGI in the trailer that IMDB has. CGI is not good enough, yet, to replace decent actors and imaginative sets. But I guess it’s getting cheaper to do the CGI… OT - I kinda liked 13th Warrior, too. What’s the beef with that film? ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/29 "2007-10-16T16:02:56Z")
Ok, so the movie is CGI, but uses the likenesses of real actors. Why? Why not just save yourself millions of dollars and make CGI characters that look similar to real ones? This does reinforce my theory that one day we’ll see new movies using old/dead actors in CGI, with them looking like they did in their heyday. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/30 "2007-10-16T16:14:47Z")
[QUOTE=Marlitharn] That would be _awesome_. IF the producers and directors can resist the urge to insert random pairs of tits that serve no purpose other than to be random pairs of tits. I want to see over-the-top heroism and Viking battles and duels and fighting against odds and friendship and betrayal and dying nobly; if I want to see boobs I’ve got a pair of my own to look at. [/QUOTE] Or they could compromise and film the Vinland saga of [Freydís Eiríksdóttir:](http://www.sagadb.org/eiriks_saga_rauda.en) > [@](#): > > Freydis came out and saw how they were retreating. She called out, “Why run you away from such worthless creatures, stout men that ye are, when, as seems to me likely, you might slaughter them like so many cattle? Let me but have a weapon, I think I could fight better than any of you.” They gave no heed to what she said. Freydis endeavoured to accompany them, still she soon lagged behind, because she was not well [pregnant]; she went after them into the wood, and the Skrælingar directed their pursuit after her. She came upon a dead man; Thorbrand, Snorri’s son, with a flat stone fixed in his head; his sword lay beside him, so she took it up and prepared to defend herself therewith. > > Then came the Skrælingar upon her. She let down her sark [shirt] and struck her breast with the naked sword. At this they were frightened, rushed off to their boats, and fled away. Karlsefni and the rest came up to her and praised her zeal. Topless AND pregnant! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/31 "2007-10-16T16:19:25Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] What’s with all the recebnt versions of Beowulf? [/QUOTE] I dunno. But I sometimes feel that there are insider info that gets around on what projects the various studios are working on, and somebody thinks “What do they know that we don’t know? Is there an untapped market we missed this year? We better make our _own_ version of an asteroid-threatening-the-earth-with-tales-of-heroism-mixed-in movie…”. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/32 "2007-10-16T17:14:17Z")
(Get the tune (and watch the original video) [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVJmwYKy7eM)) What the hell is Bob Zemeckis on? What the hell is Bob Zemeckis on? What the hell is Bob Zemeckis on? What the hell is Bob Zemeckis on? Grendel thought that King Hrothgar was a foo-o-o-o-ool (was a fool) he came and attacked from his p-p-p-pool (attacked from the pool) Grendel was the spawn of a hideous be-east (hideous beast) in this poem that’s a thousand years old at le-e-e-east (thousand at least) now it’s comin’ out as a fall movie and Grendel’s the spawn of Angie Jo-olie Grendel’s mom has got it goin on her lips are full and her legs are so lo-o-ng and she plays a tease offering immortality you know there’s something wrong when Beowulf falls for Grendel’s mom Grendel’s mom has got it goin on Grendel’s mom has got it goin on ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/33 "2007-10-16T17:47:02Z")
[QUOTE=dropzone] Or they could compromise and film the Vinland saga of [Freydís Eiríksdóttir:](http://www.sagadb.org/eiriks_saga_rauda.en) Topless AND pregnant! :eek: [/QUOTE] See? HER tits served a purpose! ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/34 "2007-10-16T17:50:54Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] (Now _Sir Gawaine and the Green Knight_ COULD make a good movie, although they haven’t made a good one yet. Not even Sword of the Valiant, even though it had Sean Connery as the Green Knight.) [/QUOTE] I had a medieval lit teacher once who said that the only people she’d trust to make a movie of _Sir Gawaine and the Green Knight_ would be the Monty Python troupe, because “they know their medieval”. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/35 "2007-10-16T18:03:26Z")
[QUOTE=Morgyn] “they know their medieval”. [/QUOTE] Something I liked about “Jabberwocky” was that I could practically smell the Middle Ages. I wouldn’t have liked it so much if I could actually smell the Middle Ages, so I’m glad that they didn’t provide a John Waters-ish “Odorama” scratch ‘n’ sniff card to all the patrons. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/36 "2007-10-16T19:14:42Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] … What’s next, Icelandic sagas? [/QUOTE] Produced by the North Malden Icelandic Saga Society. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/37 "2007-10-16T19:36:34Z")
[QUOTE=Equipoise] I’ll let you know how it is AFTER I see the film and can judge. [/QUOTE] Bravo. 🆒 Same here. I liked 13th Warrior. Well, not a whole lot, but I didn’t demand my $$ back or anything. It had moments. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/38 "2007-10-17T00:08:29Z")
T13W had some great bits, but IMHO the Irish accents showed up a bit too much. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835/39 "2007-10-17T00:45:45Z")
[QUOTE=irishgirl] Gaiman wrote it, and at least we know he’s read Beowulf. Ok, you might not like what he does with it . [/QUOTE] If it was absolutely Neil Gaiman’s Beowulf and it was directed by someone competent at their craft but completely under Gaiman’s thumb then I wouldn’t even hesitate. But everyone knows that scriptwriters for films are considered more suggestions than actual storytellers so its very possible that Zemekis ignored the bulk of the cool stuff Gaiman was sure to include. So I’m going to see it because I like Gaiman but I’m not holding my breath for brilliance. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-beowulf-movie-any-good/422835.md?page=1)