# Upcoming Enterprise episode w/Borg?! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 15, 2003, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559 "2003-03-15T07:47:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/21 "2003-03-16T06:30:46Z")
No guys, this is a good thing! See, the Borg will get away and start assimilating people. But of course the future people can’t have this, so they send back Picard, Kirk, Janeway and Sisko (station and all) to stop them. However, Kirk accidentally brought back tribbles that get aboard Picard’s Enterprise and cause hilarious havoc, Worf says “I am not a merry man.” Everyone is happy. Meanwhile white klingons dock at DS9 and are immediatly praised as gods by the black klingons, hilarity ensues. Sisko utters “I am not a merry man.” While this is all happening, Janeway get Voyager going to Warp 10, evolves into a lizard and poops out some babies. These babies in turn arrive on DS9 and eat the white klingons. Balance is restored. Archer of course is still in the process of making his generic greeting speech "HEllO TRavellers, WE…welcomE…YOU…To…OUr…LITTLE Corner…of space. YOU…seem…TO…be…From…the…FutURe. I…should…CONsult…Crewman…DANIELS…quarters…at…oNCE! This of course starts a pause acting fight with Kirk. Hilarity ensues. Malcom utters “I am not a merry man.” Meanwhile, the borg accidentally crash into a star at the last second, or something. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/22 "2003-03-16T07:03:35Z")
I’m guessing that if Paramount keeps bringing back the Borg and changing them to suit current needs, by "Enterprise"s fifth season, they’re going to end up as two cyborg mad scientists, and their cadre of bumbling but lovable cyborg thugs, one of whom will be named “Spike.” ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/23 "2003-03-16T22:08:38Z")
Does John Billingsley have only one wife (guest star)? Does she have more actor-husbands? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/24 "2003-03-17T03:06:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Achernar \* > \*\* > > \>\>bunch of piddling little nit picks\<\< > > \*\* I know you are, but what am I? ;j ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/25 "2003-03-17T06:00:53Z")
The Piddling Little Nitpicks aren’t due until the season finale. Caught another grammar error in “Singularity.” Phlox says that Travis might have some little bug **laying** dormant inside him. That should be **lying** dormant. Why don’t they ever check with me first? ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/26 "2003-03-17T15:02:54Z")
Oh, for the love of Pete. God, grant me the patience to put up with more ASS-STUPID BORING DUMB BORG EPISODES THAT MAKE ME WANT TO RIP OFF MY OWN EARS AND PLUCK FORTH MINE EYES, THEN MAKE THEM INTO A SALAD AND EAT THEM WITH A NICE RASPBERRY VINAIGRETTE AND MAYBE A SPRITZ OF LEMON. For my further opinions on the Borg, see **Terrifel** ’s post. And now: \*\* Kn\*ckers’ anti-continuity recommendations for incorporating the Borg into ENT:\*\* 1: Instead of robot humanoids, make them into robot DOGS! Bloody fight to the death vs. Porthos. Added bonus: you can bet on it! Odds significantly in favor of Porthos, b/c one fire-hydrant style attack on his part, and the Borg Pooches will all short-circuit! 2: The All-Nude Borg Revue… Maybe Borg are nude already, I’m not sure. Anyway, I really think it’d pull in the viewers. Panda likes this idea. 3: Think the Borg aren’t around until TNG? You’re right! Archer & Co. get tossed headlong into the future (thank you, Crewman Daniels), to a Post-Voyager time frame, and THAT’S where they meet the Borg. Do they ever get back to their own time? Tune in next season to find out. It’s like like a TEMPORAL version ST: VOY (Keep your eyes peeled for Jeri Ryan guest starring as a post-sex-change Crewman Daniels. Ah, that futuristic technology!). 4: Legions of irate fans show up at B&B’s mountaintop castle, wielding pitchforks and torches. No Star trek in this one, just good old fashioned murder and mayhem. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/27 "2003-03-19T21:51:21Z")
more info: [http://www.trektoday.com/news/180303\_03.shtml](http://www.trektoday.com/news/180303_03.shtml) apparently it will SERVE continuity. Like that book, _To Serve Man_, that told us them aliens were our friends. What??? It’s a COOKBOOK!!! ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/28 "2003-03-19T22:36:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wearia \* > Balance is restored. Thanks! It’s great to be back. 🙂 I’ve covered the whole smooth/bumpy issue before (see my opus _Things That Go Bump Where No One has Ever Bumped Before_). As for the Borg…they just need to go away. There was no need to resurrect any of them for _Enterprise_. However, as long as they get destroyed without anyone ever quite figuring out what they are, I’ll probably put up with it. Is there any reason why a dog–or even a panda–couldn’t be assimilated? We could see Porthos with a little laser on his head. Pity Archer doesn’t keep a fish like Picard–then we could have…never mind. Better still would be a cat with the pointer-thingy. He could chase it forever. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/29 "2003-03-19T23:31:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Pity Archer doesn’t keep a fish like Picard–then we could have…never mind. So that’s where Scott Evil got those things from 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/30 "2003-03-19T23:45:53Z")
Geez, I don’t see this as a bad idea at all! When I first read about it I thought it was a really neat idea. The show has gotten really dull lately and that _mind-meld=gay_ plot almost made me want to puke. And for all these ridiculously complex, this timeline isn’t that timeline, complaints, “Get a life will you people! For crying out loud its just a TV show!” The events in the film First Contact happened in the 2060s, 100 hundred years before Enterprise. What is the freakin’ problem?! Voyager didn’t suck because they did things which made no sense in the Star Trek universe. It sucked because they made no sense in **any** universe! You didn’t care if they got out of a bad situation because they’d just incompetently blunder into another! 🙂 At least the NX-01 crew aren’t that stupid! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/31 "2003-03-20T00:07:55Z")
That was **Hail Ants** as the evil Captain Kirk from episode # 39 _Mirror, Mirror_. Dog Borg… Woof! I mean Worf! growl for me, Klingon Scratch behind my augmented aural device, will you? Cry, Havok! And let slip the dogs of war! much better when read in its original Klingon. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/32 "2003-03-20T00:09:51Z")
Or, was it episode # 5, _The Enemy Within_? Oh well… geeks ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/33 "2003-03-20T01:35:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by El Elvis Rojo \* > \*\*… These borg get away, travel to where they were in the Delta Quadrant, find the borg not there, so begin the borg, then send themselves back in time…you know, like in the Terminator. > \*\* Man, I really hope they don’t mess up the show like this. Is this sort of thing (or anything like it) to be expected by a show that has a small fleet of writers who don’t apparently keep notes or read each other’s stories? ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/34 "2003-03-20T19:56:16Z")
:mad: I said **GIMME THE BRANDY!!!** :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/35 "2003-03-20T20:14:42Z")
Next on _Enterprise:_ George Takei guest-stars as Captain Sulu, placed in a transporter buffer by Montgomery Scott while they were investigating a Dyson Isocahedron… ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/36 "2003-03-20T22:00:55Z")
And after that, Daniels contacts Archer again but mistakenly ends up transporting both of them back to 1986 San Francisco. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/37 "2003-03-20T22:03:08Z")
And this time, Sulu finally gets to meet his Great-Great-Great Grandfather. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559/38 "2003-03-20T22:13:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeff Olsen \* > \*\*And after that, Daniels contacts Archer again but mistakenly ends up transporting both of them back to 1986 San Francisco. \*\* They should come back to 2003 San Francisco, and help me catch the idiot that keyed my car and stole my gas cap. And Hoshi should come too… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upcoming-enterprise-episode-w-borg/161559.md?page=1)