# Update. 2 gay guys, 1 spiteful ex-wife

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-2-gay-guys-1-spiteful-ex-wife/291829>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [February 25, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-2-gay-guys-1-spiteful-ex-wife/291829 "2005-02-25T05:12:45Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-2-gay-guys-1-spiteful-ex-wife/291829/41 "2005-02-26T22:36:37Z")

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> [@Miller](#):
>
> But not over the father. Why does she get to dictate what sort of relationships her ex-husband may engage in? If **rostfrei** takes a dislike to his ex’s boyfriend, does he get to demand that he not be around when his kids are with her?

If he wants to spend as much time with his kids, then **rostfrei** cannot spend the night the same night the kids do. It sucks, but that’s what the court ruled. I don’t agree with it at all, but until the appeal, you and Jason have to live with it _in order to get maximum time with the children_.

Look at it this way. You can either spend an extra $311 in child support, or you can take $100 and go sleep in a hotel for two nights a month.

No, you shouldn’t have to do that. But the kids should not lose half their time with their father because of a principle.

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-2-gay-guys-1-spiteful-ex-wife/291829/42 "2005-02-26T22:45:49Z")

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I agree with what you’re saying, **ivylass**. It just sounded to me like **NotWithoutRage** was justifying the court’s decision, and not offering advice on how to cope with a dramatically unfair and unjust situation. Their kids should also not lose time with their father and stepfather becuase of the pettiness of the ex-wife and the bigotry of the Virginia courts.

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**Author:** ![NotWithoutRage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NotWithoutRage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotWithoutRage)\
**Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-2-gay-guys-1-spiteful-ex-wife/291829/43 "2005-02-27T06:15:28Z")

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> [@Miller](#):
>
> I agree with what you’re saying, **ivylass**. It just sounded to me like **NotWithoutRage** was justifying the court’s decision, and not offering advice on how to cope with a dramatically unfair and unjust situation. Their kids should also not lose time with their father and stepfather becuase of the pettiness of the ex-wife and the bigotry of the Virginia courts.

Nope, I wasn’t trying to justify the court’s decision. I guess I was just trying to readjust perspective.

Again, who knows what the mother’s motivations are? My father’s ex-partner (so, yes, I’m coming into this biased) made up all sorts of accusations about our mother that weren’t true. I’m NOT saying this is the case here. I’m saying that perhaps bigotry wasn’t the reason behind the decision. Am I thinking too highly of Virginia?

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**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\
**Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-2-gay-guys-1-spiteful-ex-wife/291829/44 "2005-02-27T06:28:23Z")

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> [@NotWithoutRage](#):
>
> Am I thinking too highly of Virginia?

Yes.

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