# Update: Life Still Sucks Here Too **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 24, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244 "2010-08-24T03:31:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/21 "2010-08-24T22:48:22Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Your life sucks because you’ve not focused on making your life not suck. I find that in general, if one wants to give advice that has a hope of being listened to, it helps to at least pretend to have a modicum of compassion. If, on the other hand, you’re just here to be a judgmental asshole, by all means continue on. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/22 "2010-08-24T23:01:04Z")
Alice, you have got to be the densest bitch I have ever seen online. \*\*Rickjay \*\*can’t just willfully turn his life around when all this shit is falling on him and he’s feeling weak and unable to cope. Where did you get the impression he’s chasing pussy in the meantime? Is that what you do, troll the back alleys for depressed guys when no man will look at you? You totally didn’t get **Cyningablod** ’s point either. He’s NOT going to tell a rape victim “It’s your fault.” He’s pointing out the absurdity of giving her YOUR advice. You’re so fucking clueless you can’t even process what you just said yourself. I can’t go any further without violating about 16 million board rules, so I’m just going to recommend you take your advice and stuff it up your copious, voluminous ass…which in your case, is actually down your fat bullfrog throat. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/23 "2010-08-24T23:25:45Z")
Grieve and do whatever you can to cope with the stress in your life, but please stop saying “you don’t deserve this” or “this isn’t my faut”. No one deserves most of the unfairness that gets thrown their way, and even if you could pinpoint something you shouldn’t have done, would it really make you feel better? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/24 "2010-08-25T02:23:58Z")
**[[RickJay]]** Those are manly back-slap hugs. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/25 "2010-08-25T02:45:19Z")
I just don’t think now is the time to try to meet women. Give up the personal ads. I know that just sucks even more, but you gotta finish getting divorced first. After that is gravy time. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/26 "2010-08-25T03:06:24Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > I just don’t think now is the time to try to meet women. Give up the personal ads. I know that just sucks even more, but you gotta finish getting divorced first. After that is gravy time. I agree. Dating is just another potential source of drama and you don’t need that right now. Plus, even if you do find a woman that you really hit it off with, your child probably needs some time to adjust to all this and accept that you and your wife are not getting back together before someone new enters the fray. ---
**Author:** ![palacheck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e57/32.png) [@palacheck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palacheck)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/27 "2010-08-25T03:25:50Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Your life sucks because you’ve not focused on making your life not suck. Sounds like now you’re focusing on making some other poor woman’s life suck, too. What is up with all the people with shit lives and not even divorced yet desperately looking to date? Are you really unable to focus on yourself and your kids right now, which sounds like something you really need to do? Bringing another woman into your life right now will not make your life better (only you can do that), it will only make her life worse. Grieve, grow, and change, and \*then \*look for women. I sense that you don’t really care at all about **RickJay** or his troubles. Basically you’re more concerned for some imaginary women, that, if they existed, you feel would be hurt by **RickJay**? Let it go Alice–Rick’s not your dad. I’m sure of it. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/28 "2010-08-25T04:42:29Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > But he’s not focused on making his life not suck- he’s focused on chasing the pussy. . . . it’s selfish and unnecessary right now. Interesting. Let’s look again at what **RickJay** said,shall we? > [@RickJay](#): > > Still no dates, by the way, like I’d have time. Ah, I see your point. Indeed, he sounds like a total manwhore. You hit the nail on the head; his desire for human companionship is very selfish. It’s truly despicable behavior. As a penance, I recommend being snarked at by a clueless jerk. It was nice of you to volunteer in advance. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/29 "2010-08-25T13:51:14Z")
**RickJay** saying “still no dates” is just a way of indicating that he’s trying to move forward, “like I’d have the time” indicates he knows it’s not time yet. Did I fail to read something into his post? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/30 "2010-08-25T15:30:08Z")
Sad to hear of your situation **Rickjay** I get the sense that your primary pain is a result of your love for your wife and your concern for her health, never mind the loss of her affection. Now is a good time to show her your love. It will make both of you feel better. That’s just a thought. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/31 "2010-08-25T19:03:31Z")
Best of luck in getting this turned around, **RickJay** ---
**Author:** ![Barrett\_Bonden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@Barrett\_Bonden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrett_Bonden)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/32 "2010-08-25T20:33:37Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > You have a job and time to recover your life. You are not being singled out and you are not being punished for anything. It’s just your turn in the barrel, that’s all. Thank you for these wise words. I think I may embroider them on a pillow to have them close by when I next need them. I hope you’re doing well, **LouisB**. **RickJay** , I hope things turn around for you soon. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/33 "2010-08-25T20:46:32Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > **RickJay** saying “still no dates” is just a way of indicating that he’s trying to move forward, “like I’d have the time” indicates he knows it’s not time yet. Did I fail to read something into his post? This part some people seem to have missed: > [@](#): > > I’ll be fucked if I know what my personal ads do to scare chicks away, aside from the obvious. Sorry you’re going through such a rough patch, RickJay. Those shitpiles tend to fall on us all at once, so l hope that the fates have decided that you’ve had enough to bear. Lots of good advice on this thread- take good care of yourself and your child(ren?), keep up with your work, take your time to heal before you start dating again. Better luck in the coming days, months, years! ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/34 "2010-08-26T13:02:44Z")
Good luck, **RickJay**. I’ve been through similar situations before, and just when I thought it would never turn around…one day, it did. And best wishes to your wife’s recovery as well. There’s no reason to wish her ill health. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/35 "2010-08-26T21:48:53Z")
Moved from The BBQ Pit to Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share. **Gfactor** Pit Moderator ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/36 "2010-08-27T01:22:19Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > Good luck, **RickJay**. I’ve been through similar situations before, and just when I thought it would never turn around…one day, it did. > > And best wishes to your wife’s recovery as well. There’s no reason to wish her ill health. Especially as she is my daughter’s mother. I think some people have missed the point that my soon-to-be-ex-wife being healthy is **a benefit to me.** ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244/37 "2010-08-27T03:33:02Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > > [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > > > Good luck, **RickJay**. I’ve been through similar situations before, and just when I thought it would never turn around…one day, it did. > > > > And best wishes to your wife’s recovery as well. There’s no reason to wish her ill health. > > Especially as she is my daughter’s mother. I think some people have missed the point that my soon-to-be-ex-wife being healthy is **a benefit to me.** There’s obviously that benefit, but also despite the acrimony of your divorce, just from gleaning a little bit from your posts over the last couple years, you don’t strike me as the kind of person that would want her to suffer or god forbid, die, your shared child notwithstanding. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-life-still-sucks-here-too/551244.md?page=1)