# Update on our adoption
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-on-our-adoption/638647
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [October 23, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-on-our-adoption/638647 "2012-10-23T18:35:26Z")
**Posts on this page:** 10
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-on-our-adoption/638647/1 "2012-10-23T18:35:26Z")
My last thread about our potential adoption of an older child is [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=665001).
I’m in the middle of my Masters (I also work full time, so the program is catered to professionals - lots of online supplemented with annual residency programs) and have been in B.C. for the last three and a half weeks doing some pretty intense work. Anyhow, I got back on Sunday and yesterday we went to chat with this little girl’s part time foster mom to get an update.
Little S doesn’t sound like she’s doing very well with her mom right now. Mom is not letting her go outside to play (and this isn’t just a kid whining, she seriously does not \*ever \*let her go outside to play because mom thinks it’s ‘too dangerous’), she’s not allowed to take showers, and no homework is being done. The house is apparently a disaster and it sounds like the social worker has been notified of all this. Foster mom told me that on Saturday, while S was at their house, she went to the park and just sat on the swing for \*five \*hours. Five hours! All alone. And when asked why, she said she just needed to be outside because she hadn’t been allowed outside to play all week.
Hubby is going to pick her up from her mom’s this Friday after work (I’m glad I can’t go, I really don’t want to see the house) and she’s staying with us all weekend. We’re trying to kick the adoption approval process in to high gear because it seems like the end will be soon and she’ll be with us in the next couple of months.
Poor kid. ☹
As an aside, we’ve decided to postpone our frozen transfer until next year until we know for sure what’s going on with S. That’s really hard for me to do, but it’s for the best.
---
### Author:  [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-on-our-adoption/638647/2 "2012-10-23T18:44:05Z")
Thank you for posting this! I still think about little S, & I really hope that you guys will end up being her “forever” family. I have something to send her & I will PM you when I find it for your mailing address, if that’s ok.
---
### Author:  [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-on-our-adoption/638647/3 "2012-10-23T19:15:48Z")
> [@EmAnJ](#):
>
> We’re trying to kick the adoption approval process in to high gear because it seems like the end will be soon and she’ll be with us in the next couple of months.
>
> Poor kid. ☹
>
> As an aside, we’ve decided to postpone our frozen transfer until next year until we know for sure what’s going on with S. That’s really hard for me to do, but it’s for the best.
Poor S ☹
I hope it all works out for you, and I really admire you & your hubby for putting this kid first.
---
### Author:  [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-on-our-adoption/638647/4 "2012-10-23T19:36:43Z")
Poor baby ☹
I REALLY hope everything works out and I think you’re awesome for doing this 🙂
---
### Author:  [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2012, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-on-our-adoption/638647/5 "2012-10-23T20:20:22Z")
> [@janis\_and\_c0](#):
>
> Thank you for posting this! I still think about little S, & I really hope that you guys will end up being her “forever” family. I have something to send her & I will PM you when I find it for your mailing address, if that’s ok.
Wow, thanks! 🙂 Thanks to all of you!
She’s a pretty tough kid, but she’s showing the stress of it all by having more ‘freak outs’. We’ve been told that her mom knows this isn’t the best thing for her, but is scared to give her up and never see her again (which will never happen if she ends up with us).
---
### Author:  [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-on-our-adoption/638647/6 "2012-10-23T20:44:09Z")
What we want to hear will come in 6 months when you tell us how much your life has changed and how unimportant all those other distractions in life have become. Best of luck, you are doing the work of angels.
---
### Author:  [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)
#### Post date: [October 23, 2012, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-on-our-adoption/638647/7 "2012-10-23T21:07:15Z")
Thanks for the update. I’m really hoping things work out well and you can give Little S the home and family she deserves.
---
### Author:  [@Minnie\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minnie_Luna)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2012, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-on-our-adoption/638647/8 "2012-10-24T15:50:37Z")
Best of luck!
---
### Author:  [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2012, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-on-our-adoption/638647/9 "2012-10-24T16:44:37Z")
I have never stopped thinking about you and your family, I am delighted you have given us this update, even though my heart breaks for that little girl.
But my day and my world have been richly uplifted to know she’s coming back into your care very soon. I am just so over the moon delighted to know you’ll be a family together.
And, I suspect, the fact that you already are a ‘family’ will become apparent as soon as you’re all together again.
Godspeed!
---
### Author:  [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)
#### Post date: [October 24, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-on-our-adoption/638647/10 "2012-10-24T19:27:45Z")
That poor little girl-you must want to hug her and never let go. The very best of luck to all of you. Please do keep us updated. Clearly a lot of people care.