# Update: So I Just Got Molested By A Family Member **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 24, 2011, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-so-i-just-got-molested-by-a-family-member/603940 "2011-11-24T01:25:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-so-i-just-got-molested-by-a-family-member/603940/81 "2011-11-25T19:40:42Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > This board? Really? Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-so-i-just-got-molested-by-a-family-member/603940/82 "2011-11-25T19:55:21Z")
> [@astro](#): > > In reading most of the answers here there seems to be relatively little acknowledgement that she was quite possibly dealing with a person who, at 80 years old, has some level of age related mental impairment that is effecting judgement and impulse control. No, he is not becoming demented. It was the first thing that I suggested to my aunt as a reason for him doing it. She insists that he shows no other signs. Also, right after this happened, he was able to drive himself to Scottsdale, over 100 miles away, and back, several times a week for several weeks, for cancer treatments. I believe that the fact that he could do that without incident proves he is fully functional. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-so-i-just-got-molested-by-a-family-member/603940/83 "2011-11-25T22:23:17Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > No, he is not becoming demented. It was the first thing that I suggested to my aunt as a reason for him doing it. She insists that he shows no other signs. Also, right after this happened, he was able to drive himself to Scottsdale, over 100 miles away, and back, several times a week for several weeks, for cancer treatments. I believe that the fact that he could do that without incident proves he is fully functional. Incipient elderly mental issues don’t come on a flood. You often get oddball, and often obnoxious, out of character acting out and the person could still be perfectly functional otherwise. Unless he has demonstrated a past tendency toward this as his usual MO I’d suspect mental issues related to his fairly advanced age before moving to evil pervert as a conclusion. He’s 80, many people start losing their grip in their 60s and 70s. To be frank his wife may not be the best person to render a diagnosis as to his mental fitness. He needs to see a doctor re mental function asap. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-so-i-just-got-molested-by-a-family-member/603940/84 "2011-11-25T23:37:34Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Sorry to hear about your reading difficulties. Here you go: Ah, I see it now. Thanks **MsWhatsit**. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-so-i-just-got-molested-by-a-family-member/603940/85 "2011-11-26T01:19:14Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > So tomorrow’s Thanksgiving, and I have been crying sporadically over the past couple of days. Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday and it was in stone that my three sons and I would go to their house and we would have this and we would do that and that’s how it was and nobody missed it ever. And now there’s nothing where that used to be. After all those years, this man turned to me and by his actions told me that he believed that I wasn’t worthy of being loved for me, that I didn’t belong in his family as a true family member, that I didn’t belong at his table, and that this \ is all I’m worth. And I really hate him for that. I just wanted to say… this is a pain I can relate to well. It was Thanksgiving Day when I first started speaking out about my own abuse (completely unintentionally - long story) and it pretty much tore my family apart. Thanksgivings haven’t happened in my family for over a decade because of all the fallout from that. I used to really fall apart around this time of year. It was very hard, but I had to start making my own Thanksgiving memories and planning ahead to make those days positive as possible. I started in grad school by making my home the default Thanksgiving place for our international students who had nowhere else to go. I don’t know how else to say it but… the pain of absence is easier to bear when you’re being present with something else meaningful. This year I went to spend time with the family of a new, close friend in Boston. Thanksgiving has come to mean something else to me now. Yesterday, however, for the first time in over ten years my family had Thanksgiving dinner together. I couldn’t be there but they passed the phone around the table so I could say hello everyone. Things may be bad now, but you never know what could happen in the future. I wish you all the best in dealing with this. I know it’s not easy. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-so-i-just-got-molested-by-a-family-member/603940/86 "2011-11-26T01:23:18Z")
Thanks, **olives**. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-so-i-just-got-molested-by-a-family-member/603940/87 "2011-11-26T01:41:52Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > This thread, if anything, has taught me that some people will take anything, turn it into a controversy, argue about it, and tell you that you’re wrong. Welcome to the SDMB. Unfortunately, it isn’t likely to change anytime soon. Mind you, they’ll deny it to the very ends of the earth. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-so-i-just-got-molested-by-a-family-member/603940/88 "2011-11-26T01:43:26Z")
No we won’t! Another vote of support for Alice. Have a great weekend with your kids. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/update-so-i-just-got-molested-by-a-family-member/603940.md?page=4)