# Updated Divine Comedy? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 18, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285 "2011-05-18T04:22:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/1 "2011-05-18T04:22:11Z")
If an updated Divine Comedy was written how would people post-1300 fit into the various circles of Hell and Heaven. For starters I can see Confucius, Buddha, and Lao-Tze in Limbo. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/2 "2011-05-18T04:33:56Z")
I think you need to brush up on your history a bit. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/3 "2011-05-18T04:37:26Z")
Perhaps he means the director’s cut? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/4 "2011-05-18T04:59:30Z")
This thread deserves a mention of [Inferno](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferno_%28novel%29) by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/5 "2011-05-18T06:36:04Z")
Well, Dante didn’t exactly shy away from tossing people in Hell. I’d be a little surprised if one wouldn’t end up in there just for being a _Protestant_—and frankly, my hopes aren’t too high for people who lived under the reign of any of the antipopes, either. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/6 "2011-05-18T13:21:56Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > This thread deserves a mention of [Inferno](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferno_%28novel%29) by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Curse you, **DT**!! 🙂 I came into this thread specifically to recommend this as an interesting “update”. Strongly recommended, **Qin**. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/7 "2011-05-18T14:58:33Z")
Allow me to introduce you then, to an updated version of the Inferno - as performed by [puppets!](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dante's_Inferno_(2007_film)) ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/8 "2011-05-18T15:53:17Z")
Drat, thought this would be a thread about how best to update [Pink Flamingos](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hklr1Pv2noo) or [Female Trouble](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iTSxiT2YWQ). ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/9 "2011-05-18T16:36:25Z")
> [@Student\_Driver](#): > > Drat, thought this would be a thread about how best to update [Pink Flamingos](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hklr1Pv2noo) or [Female Trouble](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iTSxiT2YWQ). Maybe they can turn them into Broadway musicals like ‘Hairspray.’ Just imagine the big number to accompany Pink Flamingo’s canine coprophagy scene. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/10 "2011-05-18T17:13:28Z")
> [@Student\_Driver](#): > > Drat, thought this would be a thread about how best to update [Pink Flamingos](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hklr1Pv2noo) or [Female Trouble](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iTSxiT2YWQ). Perhaps in the afterlife Osama has 72 horny virgins, all played by Divine. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/11 "2011-05-18T17:56:11Z")
So, in this update, where would spammers and telemarketers go? Email and Craiglist scammers? I don’t remember the circles, but I’m guessing there was a place for fraud. The spammers and telemarketers aren’t exactly fraud, though, or not necessarily. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/12 "2011-05-18T18:46:05Z")
Oscar Wilde would have replaced Brunetto the sodomite, though perhaps there’s some justice and he’s driven in a chariot pulled by Bosey and Lord Douglas. Jefferson Davis has to be in one of the rings. Hitler and Göring and crew aren’t there as they must relive the worst moments of everybody whose death they were responsible for before they can be moved to Hell Proper. The pain and fear and suffering never gets easier and they’ve still got millions to go. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/13 "2011-05-19T00:35:01Z")
**Back in the '70s, one issue of _The Amazing X-Men_ had them travel to and through the classical Inferno.** I don’t recall much about it, but I seem to recall it was an induced hallucination, designed to take revenge on the X-Men for a injury that the perpetrator blamed them for. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/14 "2011-05-19T01:18:01Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > This thread deserves a mention of [Inferno](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferno_%28novel%29) by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. And, if you like that, there’s a 2009 sequel, [_Escape from Hell._](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escape_from_Hell_%28novel%29) ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/15 "2011-05-19T05:02:10Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > This thread deserves a mention of [Inferno](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferno_%28novel%29) by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Thanks for the rec. I somehow managed not to have heard of this. I once read the Divine Comedy (the Ciardi translation), and thought that, for an Enduring Classic, it had an awful lot of topical references, inside “jokes,” and personal grudges in it that diminshed its appeal for a modern reader, but that a modern-day update (in either literary or cinematic form), done by someone of sufficient genius, had the potential to be Killer Awesome. I also liked the Purgatorio the best of the three parts. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/16 "2011-05-20T12:14:11Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I once read the Divine Comedy (the Ciardi translation), and thought that, for an Enduring Classic, it had an awful lot of topical references, inside “jokes,” and personal grudges in it that diminshed its appeal for a modern reader, but that a modern-day update (in either literary or cinematic form), done by someone of sufficient genius, had the potential to be Killer Awesome. The Ciardi translation is good, and it has become the classroom standard, but I’d recommend the Dorothy Sayers translation. In addition to being a formidable scholar, she was also a popular mystery novelist, and the result is perhaps the most readable Dante I’ve run across. Sayers managed to preserve the _Terza rima_ rhyme scheme, which Ciardi proclaimed himself unable to do. > [@](#): > > I also liked the Purgatorio the best of the three parts. OK, now that’s just plain weird. ---
**Author:** ![fiddlesticks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddlesticks/32/18129_2.png) [@fiddlesticks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiddlesticks)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/17 "2011-05-20T14:36:16Z")
A college literature class I took had us write our own Inferno canto. This was the spring of 1994…mine featured the fresh soul of Kurt Cobain. We only covered Inferno, and I _loved_ it. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/18 "2011-05-21T13:41:49Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > So, in this update, where would spammers and telemarketers go? Email and Craiglist scammers? I don’t remember the circles, but I’m guessing there was a place for fraud. The spammers and telemarketers aren’t exactly fraud, though, or not necessarily. According to Niven, the Circle of the Flatterers, where they’re condemned to having shit spew out every time they open their mouths. ---
**Author:** ![raspberry\_hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@raspberry\_hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raspberry_hunter)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/19 "2011-05-23T17:51:40Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > The Ciardi translation is good, and it has become the classroom standard, but I’d recommend the Dorothy Sayers translation. In addition to being a formidable scholar, she was also a popular mystery novelist, and the result is perhaps the most readable Dante I’ve run across. Sayers managed to preserve the _Terza rima_ rhyme scheme, which Ciardi proclaimed himself unable to do. > > OK, now that’s just plain weird. Heh. Did you not read the Sayers intro, where she talks about how any sane person would love Purgatorio best? (And I do too, so there 🙂 ) I’m thrilled to find someone else who’s read the Sayers. I knew her first for her Dante, before I knew she’d written mysteries. I do find Ciardi a bit more readable (Sayers kind of has to contort sometimes to get the terza rima going), but the terza rima really adds something to the experience, and I do kind of think that of all the translations I know the Sayers gets across some of the wonder of it the best. Also, she has the best notes! I’m totally bummed that she died before she could work out Paradiso – the quality is noticeably worse. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2011, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285/20 "2011-05-23T18:37:10Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Perhaps in the afterlife Osama has 72 horny virgins, all played by Divine. So he definitely IS in Hell… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-divine-comedy/582285.md?page=2)