# Updated Title: Sad news, Doper jz78817 has died **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 4, 2020, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834 "2020-09-04T18:27:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2020, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/81 "2020-09-06T17:42:52Z")
There is nothing I can contribute but my deepest condolences. Cannot even begin to imagine… ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2020, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/82 "2020-09-06T17:45:51Z")
My condolences to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2020, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/83 "2020-09-06T21:01:53Z")
Thank you, everyone. It’s so hard. The past couple of days have simultaneously felt like 5 minutes and 5 years, if that makes sense. I went with my parents to the funeral home, which really sucked. We have to think things over and meet again on Tuesday since everything’s closed for the holiday weekend. Today was the day that we were going to have his birthday dinner and give him his presents. ☹ He had asked mom to make her spaghetti for the dinner. Mom’s still making spaghetti today because “it’s what he wanted”. 😭 It alternates between feeling really real and feeling like it’s not really true and he’ll still show up today. I want my big brother back. I went to the same uni as him (within commuting distance of where we live) and for my first day I was really nervous about driving on 696 (aka a really assholish metro Detroit freeway) because I had just gotten my drivers license a few months ago right before I turned 18. His job then was basically off of a further exit on the same freeway, so he told me to follow him (I had an 8am class). I figured he’d get to the exit that I needed to use and point to it, yknow? But instead, he actually got off the freeway and showed me where to go on the surface streets until we got to the drive way. That’s when he pointed and then waved goodbye. Even then I thought that was really sweet, but I’ll treasure that forever. ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2020, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/84 "2020-09-06T21:15:20Z")
A very touching post. Thanks for sharing it. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2020, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/85 "2020-09-06T21:35:57Z")
He’ll be missed here as well. I could always count on him to post the most reliably useful and interesting car stuff. He seemed like a genuinely good guy. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2020, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/86 "2020-09-06T21:42:31Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > It’s so hard. The past couple of days have simultaneously felt like 5 minutes and 5 years, if that makes sense. > [@zweisamkeit](#): > > It alternates between feeling really real and feeling like it’s not really true and he’ll still show up today. I don’t know if this helps, but yes, it does make sense to those of us who have lost a loved one, and that odd feeling of unreality is normal to this particular situation. Again, sorry for your loss. Treasure those good memories, treasure the family who gather together at this time. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2020, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/87 "2020-09-07T00:20:57Z")
Sad news. Condolences. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2020, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/88 "2020-09-07T01:28:15Z")
I’m so sorry. Please accept my condolences to you and yours. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2020, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/89 "2020-09-07T18:43:43Z")
I went with my mom to his condo today to get clothes for his funeral. Since mom had filed a missing persons report, the police had taken things afterward I guess, and he left a note. He said he didn’t want a funeral because he didn’t deserve one. You DO SO, goddammit! I just want you back. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2020, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/90 "2020-09-07T20:00:21Z")
I don’t remember many dopers’ names (sorry!) but I do recall @jz78817 as a valuable GQ contributor. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2020, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/91 "2020-09-07T22:37:05Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > You DO SO, goddammit! > > I just want you back. {{{ }}} Holding you and yours in my heart. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2020, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/92 "2020-09-08T18:32:06Z")
I wrote the obituary so my mom didn’t have to. It’s going to run in the Detroit News on Sunday. Visitation will be Monday 3-8 at Kaul’s Funeral Home 28433 Jefferson Ave, St Clair Shores, MI 48081. The funeral will be Tuesday at noon at St Joan of Arc Catholic Church 22412 Overlake St, St Clair Shores, MI 48080. They will be livestreaming it at [https://www.sjascs.org/](https://www.sjascs.org/) if anyone would like to attend virtually. Sigh. 😔 ---
**Author:** ![j3na](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@j3na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j3na)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2020, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/93 "2020-09-08T18:55:08Z")
[https://arstechnica.com/civis/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=1469959](https://arstechnica.com/civis/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=1469959) Hi! I’m from another forum that Jim was a remember of and I wanted to let you know we are all thinking of him as well. We’re like 90% sure it’s the same poster, he went by Jim Z there. ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2020, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/94 "2020-09-08T19:06:46Z")
This is a tough thread to read, but just want to tip my hat. I know your mom appreciates your taking care of business. Even when you’re dealing with a death that’s fully expected and anticipated, there’s still a whirlwind of shit to deal with. Undoubtedly worse in this situation. Your stepping up means a lot to her I’m sure. Hang in there. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2020, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/95 "2020-09-08T19:31:20Z")
Thank you, @j3na. I actually thought last night about posting to Ars Technica to let you all know, because I knew he was a longtime poster there. It slipped my mind this morning because we’ve been making funeral arrangements. He always downplayed how important he was to others. This thread and the AT have made me tear up a lot. I’ll probably print them out for my dad to read later on. Oh, also, just since I read your condolences at AT, I’m his kid sister. 🙂 We had steadily become closer the older we got and the age gap mattered less and less. I had actively looked forward to becoming better and better friends through the years. He always looked out for me. I wish I could have looked out for him this week. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2020, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/96 "2020-09-11T12:50:03Z")
Jesus, I’m so scatterbrained. I forgot to post the actual obituary here. I could have sworn I included it in the post with the funeral home info. > **[James Zaremski Obituary - St. Clair Shores, MI](https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/st-clair-shores-mi/james-zaremski-9349290)** > > Celebrate the life of James Zaremski, leave a kind word or memory and get funeral service information care of . ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2020, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/97 "2020-09-11T13:09:57Z")
Thank you for that. You’ve done just fine. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2020, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/98 "2020-09-11T13:27:54Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > But instead, he actually got off the freeway and showed me where to go on the surface streets until we got to the drive way. That’s when he pointed and then waved goodbye. Even then I thought that was really sweet, but I’ll treasure that forever. He was a very kind poster, who went the extra mile to help people here. Your story just fits into what I saw of him. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2020, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/99 "2020-09-11T14:05:45Z")
Lovely tribute to a gentle soul ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2020, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834/100 "2020-09-12T19:50:43Z")
If anyone has any good memories they want to share, please feel free to post them on the obit memorial page (you too, Ars Technica). My mom has gotten a lot of comfort reading them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updated-title-sad-news-doper-jz78817-has-died/919834.md?page=6)