# Updates on my son's leukemia and my life in general... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 5, 2011, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136 "2011-12-05T16:06:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Woeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Woeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Woeg)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/1 "2011-12-05T16:06:20Z")
Hey everyone - I know it’s been ages since I’ve done an update on my kiddo and my family situation; I’ve been crazy busy for what feels like forever, and a lot of the times I just don’t have the energy to post anything “deep” - a few one offs in entertainment related threads are easy enough, but actually writing anything with depth has been fairly difficult. Still, I’ve had so much support from my friends here, and I want to give you all the best update I can manage. We’ll start with Riley - he is, thankfully, doing really well with his continued treatments for his leukemia. We have another two months of intensive chemo to go through, but then he will reach the maintenance phase, and will be able to live a fairly normal life (with daily medication for the next three years). His hair has started to come back, and it is soft and silky, almost like a baby’s hair. He is happy, energetic, and full of joy - and for the first time since this whole thing began, we were able to have him for a whole day at my house (rather then visiting him at my ex’s). It may sound petty to some, but there is a HUGE difference to being able to visit with him in our own home than having to be visitors at my ex’s house. It was a great day - we played a lot, told stories, played with Play-Doh, had hot chocolate and watched Mickey’s Christmas Carol together, then back to lots of playing. He really, REALLY missed his “little” brother (he’s only 3 months older than his step-brother), and they played so well together! Riley is one of the few people that my stepson (high functioning autistic) really opens up to and can actually play with without withdrawing into a corner to play alone. In two more months, we will be able to start having Riley overnight again, and I can’t wait for it! In other good news, this is my last week at my current job. I was offered a position with another defense contractor the day before Thanksgiving, and since the contract I am on is up and not looking like it’s going to be continued, I accepted. The great news is that the new job, while not paying a lot more than my current one (50 cents an hour), has a LOT more earning potential. I’m going from the top rung of earning in one position to the bottom rung of another. It’s a definite blessing. I’ll also get to do some travelling with the new position, something I’ve always wanted to be able to do. On the downside, the insurance coverage for the new position isn’t as good as the insurance I have now, which may cause some complications with Riley’s expenses…but I just found out this morning that my current job is changing to a less desirable plan at the first of the year, so I wouldn’t have been able to keep it as is anyway. We’ve also had to make a lot of sacrifices this past six months that we’re turning in to blessings of their own. As some of you may remember from my pit thread, we had to get rid of all our pets when we were forced to move from our old home into a much smaller place - we had to both for rent agreement reasons and because having pets around a neutropenic child is considered a very bad idea. I am very pleased to say that we were able to rehome all the animals, and they all are doing great. In one particular case, it’s worked out even better than I could have hoped - my mother took in our English Springer Spaniel, who has calmed down dramatically from when she was a puppy and is now a wonderful, obedient, loving dog. Even better, my mother, who is still grieving the loss of my father, has taken new joy in the companionship that our dog gives her, and has become a lot more active now that she has a new “baby” to take care of. Speaking of the move, that too, has been a blessing in disguise. The new house is SO much smaller than the old one - about 1000 sq ft less - and so we had to get rid of a lot of stuff. Thankfully, my wife’s cousin (who was staying with us) had to get her own place, and had nothing…we were able to rehome a lot of our furniture with her to help her get set up. We also had a very dear friend who also needed some fresh start help that ended with a lot of our stuff. And yes, we gave it away - they are both broke - and sure, we could have sold some of it…but it feels good to help people when so many have helped us. And the new house, though smaller, is SO much easier to keep up after. We cleaned the whole house, top to bottom this weekend to prep for having Riley over, and it took us under 3 hrs to get the whole place thoroughly cleaned! It’s nice to not have to worry about an overwhelming amount of housework at the end of a long and stressful day. All that said, I still appreciate your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes. It is looking more and more like we will have to medicate our autistic child…he has been in three different special ed programs now, and has made only a fraction of the progress he should be making, and while the schools can’t outright say “your child needs to be medicated”, they have highly suggested it. We’ve avoided it thus far because we wanted to exhaust all other options first…and to be honest, he’s such a sweet boy and so full of joy, and we fear what meds may do to his personality…but it’s looking like that is going to be our best option. Also, the trial against my ex’s child-molesting ex will begin either today or in January (they have subpeonaed my wife and step-daughter for today but said it may not actually start today) - plus, we have a contempt of court case against the jerk next week for child-support issues (at this point, over $12,000 in arrears) and another custody hearing next month (he is the father of our autistic son) to retain full custody until the molestation trial is completed. The stress of the whole situation is incredible, but we’re slogging through it as best we can. My wife’s health has become a concern - her blood pressure is through the roof, bad enough that her doctor had her get a blood pressure machine for home use and she has to monitor it twice a day, plus anytime she starts to get upset. They feel her stroke risk is very high. And because we don’t have enough to deal with, they can’t put her on meds at the moment because they found a suspicious lump in her left breast…but they don’t want to biopsy/test it until I can change insurances at the first of the year, so that it won’t be considered a preexisting condition. Likewise, they think her thyroid is hosed, but can’t do anything till after the first of the year. But when they can do something about either, blood pressure meds can severely complicate what they will be able to do. Lastly, I am still in a world of hurt - I think my rotator cuff on my right shoulder may be damaged. I still can’t lift a lot of weight or swing a stick or anything like that without risking a LOT of pain. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot I can do about it right now, save for taking Ibuprofin when it flares up, and not doing the things I love (like sword fighting) until I eventually get the time off to have it fixed…as it will most likely require surgery, and that could take me a year at the new job to earn enough time for. So there it is all - sorry for the new thread, but the old one was getting long, and I wanted to update on more than just Riley’s leukemia. Thanks for being here…I appreciate it more than I can say. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/2 "2011-12-05T16:19:21Z")
Hey, there! I think about Riley often, and I’m so glad to hear that he’s doing well, and that so many things are working out so well for you guys. I’m sorry about the health issues for you and your wife, but I’m betting that all the positive changes will help her BP. Keep fighting the good fight, and take care of each other. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/3 "2011-12-05T16:54:59Z")
Oh hooray, I’m glad that so many things are working out! I was wondering how you were doing. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/4 "2011-12-05T17:03:54Z")
Wow, I’m so glad to hear that so many of the things that were burdening and overwhelming you have been resolved so positively, and I’m so sorry to hear about the health difficulties you and your wife are going through. I hope that everything continues to move in a good direction and that the pressure eases off more and more as time goes by. You’ve had to deal with so much. I’m in awe of how gracefully you’ve handled such hard times. May you find better times just ahead! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/5 "2011-12-05T18:11:45Z")
I’m glad Riley’s treatment is going well and that you’ve had some good news and good fortune. It’s great that he’s able to play with his stepbrother and do some more regular kid stuff. Sorry about your shoulder and your wife’s problems. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/6 "2011-12-05T20:46:51Z")
Wow. A lot going on for sure. I just wanted to mention on the insurance front: If you’ve got existing coverage, the new insurance has to offer coverage for pre-existing conditions. It’s only if you’ve had a break in coverage (e.g. had let it lapse last month). From [here](http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/faqs/faq_consumer_hipaa.html): > [@](#): > > Can I reduce or eliminate the maximum preexisting condition exclusion period? > > Yes, if you can show “creditable coverage.” Most health coverage can be used as creditable coverage, including participation in a group health plan, COBRA continuation coverage, Medicare and Medicaid, as well as coverage through an individual health insurance policy. However, you should try to avoid a significant break in coverage (63 days) if you want to be able to count your previous coverage. If you have a break shorter than 63 days, coverage you had before that break is creditable coverage and can be used to offset a preexisting condition exclusion period. Days spent in a waiting period for coverage cannot be used as credit. But, they also are not counted toward the significant break (63 days) you are trying to avoid. ---
**Author:** ![Woeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Woeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Woeg)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/7 "2012-02-01T15:03:16Z")
Hey all! Another update: Riley has finally reached the maintenance phase of his treatment! The really heavy stuff is done with, and now we turn to a routine where he only has to have one larger does of chemo a month, and then a bunch of pills every day…for the next three years. It’s still a long road, but its the “easier” part of that road, and with all luck, we’ve gotten past the worst of things. Hopefully, once his numbers normalize, he will again be able to start visiting us overnight, and life can return to a closer form of normal than it has been. Also good news, my wife has had her appointments, and she does not have breast cancer! That was a huge relief, and now that we are on the new insurance, she will continue to seek treatment for her other health issues. The new job is great so far - far more autonomy, far less headaches, and I’m learning a lot! My shoulder is still hosed, but until I can earn time off, its going to have to wait. Just thought I’d give y’all a quick update! ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/8 "2012-02-01T15:24:08Z")
I’m glad things are looking up for you! ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/9 "2012-02-01T15:26:35Z")
Very, very glad to hear things are still improving. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/10 "2012-02-01T16:22:59Z")
All awesome news, thanks for the update, I often think of your family and wonder how you’re doing. As for the ibuprofen for your pain, I simply want to suggest you take it right before bed. Someone suggested this to my husband, who has pain issues, and it really has worked very well. Taking it throughout the day is okay, and does work, but you’re still using your muscles since you’re up and about. Taken a bedtime, it’s working while your muscles are fully relaxed, making it, seemingly, much more effective. Doing this has cut down, considerably, on the amount he needs to take, over the course of the day, as a result. Just thought I’d mention it, as I am so glad someone took the time to share it with me! ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/11 "2012-02-01T17:20:05Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > All awesome news, thanks for the update, I often think of your family and wonder how you’re doing. > > As for the ibuprofen for your pain, I simply want to suggest you take it right before bed. Someone suggested this to my husband, who has pain issues, and it really has worked very well. Taking it throughout the day is okay, and does work, but you’re still using your muscles since you’re up and about. Taken a bedtime, it’s working while your muscles are fully relaxed, making it, seemingly, much more effective. > > Doing this has cut down, considerably, on the amount he needs to take, over the course of the day, as a result. > > Just thought I’d mention it, as I am so glad someone took the time to share it with me! Ditto!! On the ibuprofen: in addition to the timing, try using it consistently for a few days / weeks, vs just when it’s really painful. That should help it work better on the inflammation as well as “just” relieving pain. Ice / cold packs can also be helpful - it’s sort of counterintuitive because heat feels so lovely, but cold reduces the inflammation while heat can increase it. So glad that Riley is in the maintenance phase - and the news about your wife not having breast cancer is fantastic as well!! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/12 "2012-02-01T18:54:41Z")
Glad to hear the good news, **Woeg** 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/13 "2012-02-01T18:55:52Z")
I’m glad to hear all that good news, **Woeg**! I hope more is coming your way. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/14 "2012-02-01T20:50:43Z")
Sounds like things are looking up! Hooray! ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/15 "2012-02-01T21:10:14Z")
I’m so glad that your son is getting well, and your whole family is doing better. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/16 "2012-02-01T21:24:24Z")
🙂 I hope the germie monster I sewed helped. Okay, it had nothing to do with it, but I’d like to think it did. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/17 "2012-02-01T21:27:07Z")
Great news Woeg. ---
**Author:** ![Woeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Woeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Woeg)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/18 "2012-02-01T21:27:47Z")
Thanks all! He loves his germie monster, BTW! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/19 "2012-02-01T22:13:35Z")
Congrats for getting shit done! 😃 Thank you for posting an update. It sounds like you guys have been very busy. I know it’s always very hard to get rid of beloved pets, but it was the right thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updates-on-my-sons-leukemia-and-my-life-in-general/605136/20 "2012-02-01T23:58:11Z")
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