# Updike and New Iskander, it's a twofer tuesday! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 8, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097 "2005-11-08T20:42:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![New\_Iskander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/db5fbb/32.png) [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/101 "2005-11-11T16:16:39Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > By the way, I think it is important not to lose sight of the fact that **Isky** is still polluting the Dope with his idiocy. Still smarting, aren’t we? _- THE FinnAgain, THE scrotal scab…_ ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/102 "2005-11-11T18:02:38Z")
(Oh yes, you would me so with your wit and humor) No matter how many alliterations you make about me, the fact remains that you’ll still be saying things like Valerie Plame may’ve tortured people. Why don’t you work on your stupidity and ignorance first, and your alliterations second? Why don’t you read a goddamn thing about the Plame case before holding forth with your absurd pronouncements? Why don’t you read up on intelligence oversight policies? Etc… So yeah, in a nutshell, why don’t you do something about your agressively ignorantly painfully stupid posting, and then work on sing song insults later? ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/103 "2005-11-11T18:09:03Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > I must disagree with you on this one. I don’t think **Updike** is a coward. Whining, whinging, or otherwise. I think you nailed it from the beginning: He really is too thick to understand what he is being pitted for. He still thinks this is a high school put-down contest. The subtleties of the actual, you know, _issues_ are just beyond his grasp. [Bugs Bunny] Mmmm… couuuuuld be. [/bb] I’m still having trouble believing that anybody, let alone anybody who’d choose to pay money to belong to a board about fighting ignorance, could be _that_ dumb. It seems possible that it’s an act, but I admit that after a while it’s beginning to look less and less likely. After all… “Never ascribe to malice what can be explained by stupidity.” ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/104 "2005-11-11T18:17:01Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > (Oh yes, you would me so with your wit and humor) D’oh! Now I’m sounding like you **Isky**. The shame, the shame! That should have read “You would _hurt_ me so…” Because, ya know, your devestating critiques of my personality, based on hard logic and supported with massive textual evidence, simply cut me to the quick. I bleed. But I will toss you a bone, and rather than simply pointing out that you’re a pool of raw sewage in the otherwise (sorta) pristine waters of the Dope, I’ll actually fight some of your ignorance. [Read this. Shut up. Thank me later.](http://www.access.gpo.gov/int/int018.html) ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/105 "2005-11-11T18:21:56Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > D’oh! > Now I’m sounding like you **Isky**. The shame, the shame! > > That should have read “You would _hurt_ me so…” huh. Go figure, I thought it was “you _wound_ me so…” ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/106 "2005-11-11T18:25:33Z")
> [@wring](#): > > huh. Go figure, I thought it was “you _wound_ me so…” Well, that was what I wrote at first. But I was editing my post in a word document at the same time and cuttin’ and pasting as I went and tried for a flashier sentence. Suffice it to say, preview is my friend, and simpler is better. Should’ve left well enough alone. Le sigh. ---
**Author:** ![New\_Iskander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/db5fbb/32.png) [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/107 "2005-11-11T18:41:54Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Le sigh. Vous parlez? > [@](#): > > \*On pouvait dire… Oh ! Dieu !.. bien des choses en somme… > En variant le ton,… > > …mon cher, vous m’auriez dit > Si vous aviez un peu de lettres et d’esprit > Mais d’esprit, ô le plus lamentable des êtres, > Vous n’en eûtes jamais un atome, et de lettres > Vous n’avez que les trois qui forment le mot : sot !\* \ \ \ …_THE Finn Again, THE slimy squid_… ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/108 "2005-11-11T18:47:12Z")
> [@New Iskander](#): > > …_THE Finn Again, THE slimy squid_… [nitpick] Squid isn’t slimy if it’s prepared properly. Perhaps you’re thinking of okra. [/nitpick] ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/109 "2005-11-11T19:15:28Z")
Why am I getting a mental image of Will Arnett doing a chicken dance? ---
**Author:** ![New\_Iskander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/db5fbb/32.png) [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/110 "2005-11-11T19:38:26Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > [nitpick] > > Squid isn’t slimy if it’s prepared properly. Perhaps you’re thinking of okra. > > [/nitpick] Patience, my precious darlings! LE Squid will be “prepared properly” yet… ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/111 "2005-11-11T21:25:53Z")
So no comment on oversight of intelligence agencies? Or the fact that you don’t do research before spouting off? Or your ridiculous absolutist categorical ‘thinking’? Or your partisan whinging? Or the fact that you very rarely have the courtesy to make sure that your posts are readable by your fellow posters? Ya know, the issues? That you were Pitted for? ---
**Author:** ![New\_Iskander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/db5fbb/32.png) [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/112 "2005-11-11T22:11:25Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > So no comment on oversight of intelligence agencies? > … > Ya know, the issues? That you were Pitted for? You are one truly disgusting pathetic lying weasel. You didn’t start this as an attempt to explain issues. You started with insults. Now suddenly you want to talk issues? If you truly want to discuss issues, apologize and open a new GD thread. _…THE FinnAgain, THE piece of shit_ ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/113 "2005-11-11T22:20:00Z")
> [@New Iskander](#): > > You are one truly disgusting pathetic lying weasel. Awww shucks, you’re too sweet. > [@New Iskander](#): > > You didn’t start this as an attempt to explain issues. You started with insults. No, moron, I did **both**. I pointed out your utter ignorance on topics upon which you were holding forth, your shitting in other threads with your inane 'anti-cia/librul" babbling, and your total disregard for making your posts readable by other Dopers. I pointed all of these out, yes, via insults. I did so, and would do so again, because you don’t deserve any better. Get that **Isky**? Your conduct on this message board has _earned_ you this reaction, and you do not _deserve_ to be treated as if you had anything to offer the community. > [@New Iskander](#): > > If you truly want to discuss issues, apologize and open a new GD thread. Okay, I’m sorry you’re such a worthless shit who somehow found its way to this message board in an effort to spread ignorance. Am I forgiven now? And no, you fucking tool, I’m **Pitting** you for your conduct. I’m not about to open a GD thread because it would be much harder, in GD, to call you a corpse felching maggot brained piece of flame-bait. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/114 "2005-11-11T22:44:10Z")
Henceforth, New Iskander is now known as _ **The** _ melon farmer. Not just any melon farmer: _THE_ Melon Farmer. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Svinlesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/22d042/32.png) [@Mr.Svinlesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Svinlesha)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/115 "2005-11-11T22:48:20Z")
Shortly after Abu Ghraib hit the news, the late, great **Desmostylus** started a [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=253807&page=1&pp=50&highlight=torture) about it. Perhaps some of you remember the horror and revulsion many of us experienced when we first saw the photos from Abu Ghraib and discovered that these acts were being actually being perpetrated by American soldiers. But not all of us! Right on cue, **Old Pustule** dropped this steaming [turd](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4813900&postcount=93) into the discussion: > [@](#): > > \*I find it quite remarkable that nobody here have wondered, who might be those people under hoods with their extremities wired? > > What if it was Saddam under hood? Doesn’t Saddam deserve exactly such treatment in eternity? > > What if it was one of Saddam henchmen, getting an idea what his victims were going through? They have done such things to so many innocent people! > > Don’t Saddam henchmen deserve to be hooded and their genitals wired with alligator clamps? > > Wouldn’t that be the real Justice?\* After which, he went on for two or three pages trying to defend himself and justify his views. Which only made things worse. He was too stupid, for example, to understand that the administration argued we needed to invade Iraq to put an end to the torture there, _not commit more of it_. So my vote goes for the **Pustule**. He’s about as stupid as they come. Plus, his poetry is truly doggerel. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/116 "2005-11-11T23:00:26Z")
“What if it was Saddam under hood?” “What if it was one of Saddam henchmen” “who might be those people under hoods” “Don’t Saddam henchmen deserve to be hooded” **Isky** why do you hate [del]freedom[/del] articles, punctuation and syntax? But I notice that’s the same intellectually barren ‘reasoning’ for **Isky** going after Plame. It seems like many of his arguments can be reduced to “What if [absurd thing I’m making up] is true? Wouldn’t that justify [other absurd thing]?” ---
**Author:** ![New\_Iskander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/db5fbb/32.png) [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/117 "2005-11-11T23:13:54Z")
**Mr. Svin** , it’s been a looong time! Like the saying goes, stir the cesspool, what comes up to the surface? ---
**Author:** ![New\_Iskander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/db5fbb/32.png) [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/118 "2005-11-11T23:17:42Z")
I said it once before, but it bears repeating. **Svin** , go kiss Saddam’s ass! ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/119 "2005-11-11T23:19:15Z")
> [@New Iskander](#): > > Like the saying goes, stir the cesspool, what comes up to the surface? Your posts? ---
**Author:** ![New\_Iskander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/db5fbb/32.png) [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097/120 "2005-11-12T01:29:55Z")
FinnAgain, I must apologize in advance. I might not have time for you now, that **Mr. Svin** emerged from cesspool depths. Further, I’d like to apologize for carrying our little spat too far. I forgot that truly malignant asswipes like \*\*Svin \*\* still infest the face of this planet. Comparing to **Svin** you really not a bad sort. Actually, I’m beginning to like you, all things considered in proper perspective. So, I’m sorry. May I take away all the names I called you? I really can use them for a more appropriate target. Please? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/updike-and-new-iskander-its-a-twofer-tuesday/330097.md?page=7)