# Uproar over "Sexualised Jesus" picture **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** arts-crafts\ **Created:** [February 6, 2024, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185 "2024-02-06T13:43:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2024, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/41 "2024-02-06T23:03:08Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > My favorite Jesus is [Jesus Loves Cats.](https://www.amazon.com/Christian-Puzzles-Religious-Challenging-Inspirational/dp/B0CFZR993T) Now that’s hot. But that cat don’t love him back. He’s clearly thinking, “Okay, you may be the son of god and all, but I still don’t want to be picked up and snuggled!” > [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](#): > > “Cross fit”?!? ISWYDT! My brother once told me about a T-shirt he had seen, for “The Lord’s Gym”. Their tagline was, “His pain, your gain!” ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2024, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/42 "2024-02-06T23:05:51Z")
> [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](#): > > I remember a sermon where the minister spoke about various images of Jesus - Jesus as a white guy, Jesus as an Asian guy, Jesus as a Black guy, Jesus as a woman. The point that she made that day was she thought it was important for us to see Jesus in everyone we meet. And, she said, if we’re really diligent in following Jesus’ love and mercy, we might just catch a glimpse of Jesus in the mirror… Watching us to make sure we don’t masturbate? ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2024, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/43 "2024-02-06T23:36:35Z")
Ha! I’m not sure the United Church of Canada has an official position on masturbation - no, wait, let me put that a different way… It hasn’t come up in our - no, that’s no good, either… I would be very surprised if a church denomination that affirms and welcomes the LGTBQ2S+ communities has any associations with masturbation other than as a normal, healthy part of human sexuality. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2024, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/44 "2024-02-06T23:36:53Z")
There’s also a comic I saw somewhere which has JC face the Olympians and kick their collective asses. > [@Chronos](#): > > . At least paint a babe at her breast, or a halo around her hair, or something. There _ **is** _ what I suppose was intended to be a nimbus behind her head (except it looks more like a monstrance) but yeah, could be **any** generic “hot female saint” illustration. No Marian iconographic references. I _have_ seen sexied-up versions of Our Lady of Guadalupe that clearly represent as such and I’ll leave the search as an exercise for the students… who may keep it to yourselves, OK? ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/45 "2024-02-07T00:32:03Z")
You can certainly buy an interesting swimsuit. [Virgin Mary Bikini Swimsuit Sexy Our Lady of Guadalupe Swimwear Trend Bikini Set Two Piece Set Push Up Custom Feminine Bikinis - AliExpress](https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256805136693880.html?gatewayAdapt=glo2usa4itemAdapt) ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/46 "2024-02-07T02:01:19Z")
That painting might prompt a few desperate souls to come to Jesus. What’s wrong with that? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/47 "2024-02-07T02:01:36Z")
The last time a painting of Jesus came out of Spain, [it didn’t end well.](https://www.digitalspy.com/fun/a401187/jesus-christ-fresco-painting-ruined-by-botched-restoration-attempt/) [![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/61/Attempted_restoration_of_Ecce_Homo.jpg) ](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/61/Attempted_restoration_of_Ecce_Homo.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/48 "2024-02-07T02:13:15Z")
I guess nobody caught the [reference](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46644/my-madonna)? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/49 "2024-02-07T02:27:21Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Watching us to make sure we don’t masturbate? You’re thinking of [Ceiling Cat](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ceiling-cat). ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUBv.2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanubv.2/32/3260_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUBv.2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUBv.2)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/50 "2024-02-07T04:32:37Z")
As several have noted. sexualized Jesus is nothing new. But metrosexualized Jesus? Sculpted beard? Shaped and waxed brows? When I first opened the link, I thought it was a gag, so over the top is the “French cologne ad” vibe. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/51 "2024-02-07T11:30:07Z")
> [@Oly](#): > > That painting might prompt a few desperate souls to come to Jesus. > > What’s wrong with that? Every sperm is sacred. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/52 "2024-02-07T12:05:00Z")
The hot saint is traditionally Mary Magdalene, not Mary the Mother of God. The pre-repentant Magdalene was an excuse for men to paint naked breasts for centuries. These days the Magdalene has been scripturally separated from some other biblical women with whom she was conflated (most of the New Testament women seem to be named Mary), and of course men can paint naked women all they want without excuse, so it’s no longer the fashion. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/53 "2024-02-07T12:35:11Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > and of course men can paint naked women all they want without excuse Only if it’s consensual. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats2)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/54 "2024-02-07T13:04:58Z")
Now we need a painting entitled “Cats are Indifferent to Jesus”. After all, they are Descendants of Bastet. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/55 "2024-02-07T13:06:38Z")
What about Treesus? The Evergreen was cut down for your furniture sins. ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/56 "2024-02-07T13:10:08Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > My favorite Jesus is [Jesus Loves Cats.](https://www.amazon.com/Christian-Puzzles-Religious-Challenging-Inspirational/dp/B0CFZR993T) Now that’s hot. Well what man doesn’t like to pet a plump pussy? ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/57 "2024-02-07T14:04:46Z")
The only thing that surprises me about this story is that the painting looks so ordinary for a “painting of Jesus”. I guess Spanish at traditions are different. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/58 "2024-02-07T14:29:22Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > There’s also a comic I saw somewhere which has JC face the Olympians and kick their collective asses. There was one of those car customizing shows, where the TV team fixes some average joe’s car. Anyway this dude this one week must have felt his true mission on TV wasn’t to get his car fixed, but proselytize. Every time he was on camera he had some other Jesusy short. (got jesus?) But the point is one shirt has Jesus sitting with all the DC (and maybe Marvel) superheroes, and they were all deferential to Him. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/59 "2024-02-07T16:16:36Z")
Surprised no one’s mentioned Buddy Christ yet. Here’s a Jesus who will call you an Uber the next morning and promise to text you in a day or two: [![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/93/Buddy_christ.jpg) ](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/93/Buddy_christ.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185/60 "2024-02-07T16:39:06Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > My favorite Jesus is [Jesus Loves Cats.](https://www.amazon.com/Christian-Puzzles-Religious-Challenging-Inspirational/dp/B0CFZR993T) Now that’s hot. Cats always like to be in control. _Cat loves Jesus_ may be more accurate: [![](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1117238726200922246/1204827244145676288/tibby1957_Painting_in_style_of_Rembrandt_of_a_large_cat_with_a__5893e3a7-396d-41d0-a5d6-ceebce25d8f0.png?ex=65d625cf&is=65c3b0cf&hm=3227c4cd52504e5b49874c30b3d683caaf27d022dc698a9fc6e648ae8248c9a0&) ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1117238726200922246/1204827244145676288/tibby1957_Painting_in_style_of_Rembrandt_of_a_large_cat_with_a__5893e3a7-396d-41d0-a5d6-ceebce25d8f0.png?ex=65d625cf&is=65c3b0cf&hm=3227c4cd52504e5b49874c30b3d683caaf27d022dc698a9fc6e648ae8248c9a0&) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uproar-over-sexualised-jesus-picture/997185.md?page=4)