# Upstairs neighbor is a peeping tom (listener), what should I do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157 "2010-08-04T15:39:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/21 "2010-08-04T17:56:24Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > > [@posskb](#): > > > > I realize I sound paranoid. > > As a matter of fact, yes, you do. Agreed. There are some things that go with living in an apartment building. Hearing some of what your neighbors do is one of them. You have no way of knowing what she’s doing up there. She could be moving about her apartment completely oblivious of what you’re doing. Also, even if she _is_ listening to you, why do you care? I’ve lived in apartments before, and if the person above me wanted to spend their time following me from room to room and listening to me make breakfast, watch TV, and do my laundry, why should i give a damn? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/22 "2010-08-04T17:56:41Z")
It seems the highest likelihood to me is that you are paranoid. Rolling around your apartment swearing at the upstairs neighbor strikes me as more than slightly crazy. So see a doctor about getting some medications. On the slight chance that you are not nuts, just get over it. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/23 "2010-08-04T18:00:37Z")
Since the OP is seeking advice, this is better suited to IMHO than GQ. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Animastryfe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Animastryfe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Animastryfe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/24 "2010-08-04T19:02:10Z")
I recommend [this](http://xkcd.com/525/). ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/25 "2010-08-04T19:03:49Z")
Based on the OP’s other posts I’m half expecting him to declare that the upstairs neighbor is also secretly gassing him at night based on the fact that sometimes he sleeps more heavily than usual. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/26 "2010-08-04T19:11:20Z")
I think it is all coincidence, and also an indicator of your compatibility. Think about it, this woman’s life matches yours exactly. Lovey dovey couples dream of walking in-step for the rest of their lives, but you are living it!!! Buy her flowers. ---
**Author:** ![peekercpa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@peekercpa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peekercpa)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/27 "2010-08-04T19:16:05Z")
personally i’d just eat a bunch of pintos and cabbage and then fart real loudly. it also has the added benefit of drifting upwards which kind of gives you a two for one impact. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/28 "2010-08-04T19:20:12Z")
Honestly, I think you’ve built this up to be something it isn’t. I’ve lived in many apartments, including 18th century houses that have zero soundproofing, and without fail, I hardly ever hear the people below me. That 18th C house I lived in though, boy, the people upstairs drove me crazy. The cheek of it, walking around, taking a shower, watching TV, anyone would think they’d been sent in to make me paranoid. Seriously, chances are, you can hear her every move and she has no idea, and can’t hardly hear you at all. Move out, get over it, and really, stop shouting abuse at her. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/29 "2010-08-04T19:21:47Z")
I think you should see a doctor, and tell him everything you’ve told us. Pack a bag- you may be going on ‘vacation’ after that. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/30 "2010-08-04T19:28:15Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Based on the OP’s other posts I’m half expecting him to declare that the upstairs neighbor is also secretly gassing him at night based on the fact that sometimes he sleeps more heavily than usual. This is that guy? OK, _definitely_ paranoid. Maybe not in the clinical sense, but in the common-use sense in any case. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/31 "2010-08-04T19:32:03Z")
Aluminum foil on the ceiling. Trust me. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/32 "2010-08-04T19:32:49Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > Honestly, I think you’ve built this up to be something it isn’t. > > I’ve lived in many apartments, including 18th century houses that have zero soundproofing, and without fail, I hardly ever hear the people below me. That 18th C house I lived in though, boy, the people upstairs drove me crazy. The cheek of it, walking around, taking a shower, watching TV, anyone would think they’d been sent in to make me paranoid. > > Seriously, chances are, you can hear her every move and she has no idea, and can’t hardly hear you at all. Move out, get over it, and really, stop shouting abuse at her. Same here, I can always hear my upstairs neighbors in older buildings, but never downstairs neighbors. Even if I wanted to follow a downstairs neighbor around their apartment, I wouldn’t have the slightest idea where they were or what they were doing. Your neighbor has no idea where you are when you’re in your apartment, or what you’re doing. You’re the one doing all the listening to her movements. And you call her “theiving” in your OP - has she stolen anything from you or anyone else that you’re aware of? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/33 "2010-08-04T19:38:11Z")
> [@badbadrubberpiggy](#): > > And you call her “theiving” in your OP - has she stolen anything from you or anyone else that you’re aware of? Can’t you see that she has stolen his freedom? He can’t even move without her knowing about it!! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/34 "2010-08-04T19:39:23Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > > > Based on the OP’s other posts I’m half expecting him to declare that the upstairs neighbor is also secretly gassing him at night based on the fact that sometimes he sleeps more heavily than usual. > > This is that guy? > > OK, _definitely_ paranoid. Maybe not in the clinical sense, but in the common-use sense in any case. Oh, no, it’s not the same guy but he has posted some bizarre stuff. Check out his thread on [cocoa beans](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=533568). ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/35 "2010-08-04T19:43:58Z")
When you see her, do you constantly roll your eyes at her? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/36 "2010-08-04T20:49:51Z")
It’s not just her who’s listening to you. We all are. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/37 "2010-08-04T20:58:45Z")
Actually, thanks to your internet connection and computer speakers, I’m listening to you right now. You need a webcam, though. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/38 "2010-08-04T21:03:58Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > Actually, thanks to your internet connection and computer speakers, I’m listening to you right now. You need a webcam, though. I will pm you the link to the webcam that the rest of us can see the OP with. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/39 "2010-08-04T21:16:06Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > May I recommend Klingon Opera? I think I shall. Or if you’re feeling really sadistic, Vogon poetry. ---
**Author:** ![IaMoDiNaRy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@IaMoDiNaRy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IaMoDiNaRy)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/40 "2010-08-04T23:06:48Z")
Posskb, > [@](#): > > But it’s hard to enjoy this freedom with Ms. old, fat, ugly, lying, thieving, spying bitch upstairs. I have often called her this and much worse recently while she listens upstairs to make it less enjoyable but it hasn’t helped. She probably likes the attention. So you’ve been yelling these things out to the ceiling? :eek::eek::eek: My advice is to stop doing that immediately. What if she records you behaving like a nutjob? I understand from your OP that YOU can easily tell where your upstairs neighbor is by her squeaky floor. What I’m not clear on is how you think SHE can tell where you are? Do you think she’s lying down on the floor to listen? Do you make a lot of noise going about your day and this is maybe how she follows you around? Maybe she thinks you’re as annoying as you think she is… From previous experience, I know how irritating a squeaky floor can be. Ask the landlord if there is anything that can be done about it. If YOU can’t hear the floor squeak, then YOU won’t know if she’s following you around anymore. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157.md?page=3)