# Upstairs neighbor is a peeping tom (listener), what should I do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157 "2010-08-04T15:39:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/41 "2010-08-05T00:17:24Z")
I’m disappointed in you people. Must we demean the OP by telling him to get on his meds, or get institutionalized? The tenant above my grandma did something similar. She would nit or read in the rooms above wherever my grandma had her visitors, because I guess the muffled conversations made her place feel less empty. Granted, the OP’s scenario is more distinct. I’m still not going to call him crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/42 "2010-08-05T00:22:59Z")
I don’t think we’d be doing the OP any favors if we pretended that this is perfectly normal. There’s obviously some paranoia going on here, and I really do recommend he see a doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/43 "2010-08-05T00:27:52Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > > [@Skammer](#): > > > > This is that guy? > > > > OK, _definitely_ paranoid. Maybe not in the clinical sense, but in the common-use sense in any case. > > Oh, no, it’s not the same guy but he has posted some bizarre stuff. Check out his thread on [cocoa beans](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=533568). Oh dear. Dear dear dear. That’s rather…interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/44 "2010-08-05T00:28:27Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > Granted, the OP’s scenario is more distinct. I’m still not going to call him crazy. Read the OP’s other thread linked in post#34 and then tell me that there isn’t something seriously wrong in paradise with a straight face. The meter is pegging off the chart. ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/45 "2010-08-05T00:34:38Z")
I dont think theres anything wrong with suggesting the idea of consulting a professional, it can be an easy way of checking that you are or arent paranoid as they can check out the evidence in more detail and offer possible solutions. Mocking a person who seems to be in distress and is asking for help is the disappointing bit. Otara ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/46 "2010-08-05T00:38:06Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > > [@Walmarticus](#): > > > > Granted, the OP’s scenario is more distinct. I’m still not going to call him crazy. > > Read the OP’s other thread linked in post#34 and then tell me that there isn’t something seriously wrong in paradise with a straight face. The meter is pegging off the chart. I’ll admit, he sounds nothing like my grandma. My grandma routinely underestimates the dangerous and misunderstood topic that is raw cocoa beans. I won’t criticize him for _this_ thread. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/47 "2010-08-05T00:43:13Z")
Unless she has x-ray vision or you have a glass ceiling, I don’t see how she can figure out where you are. Also, I really doubt she’s listening to you if she’s directly overhead. It’s much easier to hear if you stay by a window. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/48 "2010-08-05T01:18:35Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > I’m disappointed in you people. Must we demean the OP by telling him to get on his meds, or get institutionalized? The tenant above my grandma did something similar. She would nit or read in the rooms above wherever my grandma had her visitors, because I guess the muffled conversations made her place feel less empty. > > Granted, the OP’s scenario is more distinct. I’m still not going to call him crazy. Okay, this is almost as weird as the OP. How did your grandma even know that? Maybe _she’s_ the peeping tom! ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/49 "2010-08-05T01:52:23Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > > [@Walmarticus](#): > > > > I’m disappointed in you people. Must we demean the OP by telling him to get on his meds, or get institutionalized? The tenant above my grandma did something similar. She would nit or read in the rooms above wherever my grandma had her visitors, because I guess the muffled conversations made her place feel less empty. > > > > Granted, the OP’s scenario is more distinct. I’m still not going to call him crazy. > > Okay, this is almost as weird as the OP. How did your grandma even know that? Maybe _she’s_ the peeping tom! They became friends and she told her. ---
**Author:** ![IaMoDiNaRy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@IaMoDiNaRy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IaMoDiNaRy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/50 "2010-08-05T02:33:21Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > > > Okay, this is almost as weird as the OP. How did your grandma even know that? Maybe _she’s_ the peeping tom! > > They became friends and she told her. That’s a good idea!!! Hey Posskb, have you thought about going upstairs or if this isn’t possible, giving her a call? Apologize for the name calling first, of course :D, and then explain about how much the squeaky floor is bothering you and can you enlist her help in approaching the landlord or apartment manager about getting it fixed. Maybe you two can become allies instead of enemies. Maybe she’s just lonely… It’s possible… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/51 "2010-08-05T02:55:40Z")
It’s your imagination. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/52 "2010-08-05T03:14:07Z")
Has it occurred to you that the layout of your apartments is identical? If you both have a daily sort of schedule that is similar, you both may be doing similar things, and be in the same room cooking or watching TV or using a computer. I am on the top floor and have squeaky wood floors. I wonder if it makes the below-me neighbors crazy sometimes since I have a weird schedule and sometimes cook at 4am. While they could certainly ascertain where I am in the apartment, I have no idea where they are unless I’m going to the windows and listening for when they argue or when he goes on one of his drunken yelling marathons. Even then, I would have to go to the windows in each room and listen for a while before I could tell whether he was yelling in the living room, bedroom, or wherever. It took me a month before I was even able to tell the drunk yelling guy was in the apartment under mine because of the courtyard and echoing. I certainly have no idea what he’s actually DOING even if I can figure out he’s in the kitchen - cooking? Sitting at the table? There’s no way to know, even if I had my ear to the floor. You need help. Your upstairs neighbor is not the problem, and you’re terrorizing her with your yelling insults. Please see someone for some medical intervention before this gets really ugly. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/53 "2010-08-05T03:29:06Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > > [@Chris\_Luongo](#): > > > > Anyway, if she’s old, there’s probably not a lot you can do to change her behavior at this point. > > She is 26. That’s old? _Damn_, **kayaker**. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/54 "2010-08-05T03:32:04Z")
I can’t help picturing the OP’s neighbor, cowering in fear because every single time she so much as goes to the bathroom, the guy downstairs shakes his fist and screams at her. I think you need to work at this curmudgeon thing. Start by grumbling at people calling you on the phone past dark and then move on to yelling at kids on your lawn. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/55 "2010-08-05T04:24:51Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > > [@Shodan](#): > > > > As a matter of fact, yes, you do. > > Agreed. > > There are some things that go with living in an apartment building. Hearing some of what your neighbors do is one of them. You have no way of knowing what she’s doing up there. She could be moving about her apartment completely oblivious of what you’re doing. > > Also, even if she _is_ listening to you, why do you care? I’ve lived in apartments before, and if the person above me wanted to spend their time following me from room to room and listening to me make breakfast, watch TV, and do my laundry, why should i give a damn? Count me as number 17(?) here who is asking "how do you know she’s following and listening to you? And second, even if she is so what? I am BOOOOOORing. If my neighbor were following me around listening to what i do, she’d be bored out of her mind. And that would be its own revenge…mwaaah haha ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/56 "2010-08-05T04:28:32Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > > > Where does it say that? > > In the OP: > > > [@posskb](#): > > > > She is 16 years older than me. So… the OP is ten? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/57 "2010-08-05T04:44:33Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > > [@kayaker](#): > > > > In the OP: > > So… the OP is ten? :dubious: I think that’s exactly what **kayaker** was implying. ---
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/58 "2010-08-05T04:48:51Z")
OP, have you considered spreading mayonnaise on the ceiling? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/59 "2010-08-05T10:05:19Z")
I think if you tried to pork her everything would be fine. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157/60 "2010-08-05T12:02:14Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > She would nit or read **Walmarticus** , how do you ‘nit’ without being picky? I think the woman upstairs who’s driving **posskb** mental is his mom. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/upstairs-neighbor-is-a-peeping-tom-listener-what-should-i-do/549157.md?page=4)