We’re not Upstate; we’re on the North Coast.
Don’t believe it? Just wait through a few more years of drought and the millions who fled the area for the south and west will be on their knees, begging us to take them back so they can drink of our limitless fresh water. You’ll see downtown boom then, lemme tell ya.
(There’s a light jazz radio station in Rochester called the North Coast. Of course, Cleveland has one as well. Think Mexico has border issues now? What about all the water-wanting illegals taking boats across from Canada? We live in interesting times.)
The correct answer is the anti-Treis. Upstate is everything north of NYC.
Have you ever read articles on mental maps? The maps that people have in their heads consist of important places and their relationships, which the less important places dotted on the maps in fuzzy splotches. That’s what the Upstate/Downstate map looks like from Lake Ontario.
NYC is the big black hole in the southeast corner. Traffic, crowding, shopping, Broadway, rich people, bohemians, mafia types. Yonkers, Westchester, White Plains, all suburbs are fuzz along with the New Rochelle that Dick van Dyke lived in. If we have to think about it, they’re NY fuzz, not ours, but we don’t think about it.
Western New York looks over at Eastern New York because Albany has the capitol and the politicians are always given upstate tax money away to downstate, while the downstate money never gets up past Albany. That’s a big red X on our map. Hate Albany. It’s not Upstate, not North Coast. It’s a turncoat which works with the enemy. So there’s no east/west thing going. It’s all north/south. The Catskills are yours too. Even the Jews are leaving them and never coming back.
The rest of the state barely exists except in flashes. Chautauqua flashes in the summer. Ithaca carries weight during the school year. Corning gets 1 million people to the Museum of Glass. That raises attention. Ugly, decrepit Albany brings up all those politicians who can’t stand being in Albany and can’t wait to get back down the thruway. Saratoga Springs bleeds off rich tourists. Buffalo has two major league sports franchises, putting them only around 16 behind NYC.
Someday the answer will come. Parts of the state have wanted to secede for decades. When the country falls apart - not far away now since the Canadians have money and can control our electricity - we’ll see where the split is. We"ll see how many splits. I still wanna be North Coast. We’re way more like Canada than The City, in its pretentious caps.
So still want to know where NYC ends? (Not downstate.) Where the last Trader Joe’s ends, in Hartdale. Where the last Whole Foods store ends, in White Plains. Everything above there we are not worthy even to covet. Leave us our white hots and our garbage plates and inedible chicken parts in bluecheese sauce and our grape pies and spiedie sauce and stores that open only on Friday’s to make fish and chips . Know what keeps us two separate worlds?
Our breath.
Our poverty.
Our lack of sophistication.
Our niceness.
We’re incompatible. And we like it that way.