# Urban Legend - Man Sticks Penis Into Vacuum, Gets Cut Off - How true is it? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 14, 2024, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256 "2024-04-14T04:51:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/1 "2024-04-14T04:51:54Z")
I feel this is one of those ancient jokes/stories, about a man who has the bright idea of sticking his penis into a vacuum cleaner to get a crude blowjob from it, only to have his penis cut off because his penis went into the fan blade which creates the suction. Now obviously if you think about it in the modern context it seems impossible since modern vacuums have that ultra long tube to help you get it around obstacles, but I’m curious if that was ever somehow accurate where maybe the fan was actually inside the nozzle for the joke to make sense? Or has the fan always been inside the unit itself? ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/2 "2024-04-14T05:03:41Z")
(Never mind, forgot this is FQ) ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/3 "2024-04-14T05:11:14Z")
The Perfect Master happens to have an article on this. Not cut off, but lacerations. It seems the persons cited were using a model that had a short inlet before the fan blades. 😬 > **[What’s up with vacuum cleaner wounds to the penis?](https://www.straightdope.com/21342080/what-s-up-with-vacuum-cleaner-wounds-to-the-penis)** An example of a Hoover Dustette: > **[Hoover 'Dustette' Vacuum Cleaner | Science Museum Group Collection](https://collection.sciencemuseumgroup.org.uk/objects/co49043/hoover-dustette-vacuum-cleaner-vacuum-cleaner)** > > Hoover "Dustette" vacuum cleaner, model 100, 1964 ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/4 "2024-04-14T13:17:28Z")
There are stories of this happening with small ‘dust buster’ type vacuums. No verification. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/5 "2024-04-14T14:55:22Z")
Not that it might not have been tried, but surely any intelligent person would realize this would not replicate a pleasurable blowjob. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/6 "2024-04-14T15:05:07Z")
Speaking just to this … > [@Asuka](#): > > only to have his penis cut off because his penis went into the fan blade which creates the suction. Suffer a skin cut from fan blades if the intake is shorter than he is long? Sure. Cut off the head or the whole thing? Nonsense. Blades not sharp enough and motor not strong enough for that much injury. Separately, even if we assume very sharp blades driven by a very powerful motor, more like a food processor (ouch!) the multiple blades of any practical fan follow one another closely in both time and distance as the fan spins. With the result that somebody could only insert their penis as far as the flat of one blade before the leading edge of the next blade arrived at the side of their shaft. The advance on those blades on a consumer vacuum is 1/8", maybe 1/4". So that’s the thickest slice that could be lopped off per passing blade. I could imagine somebody enthusiastically jamming as hard and deep as they could into there, but as soon as they start hurting they’re withdrawing equally vigorously. So yeah, given a food-processor like vacuum cleaner I could imagine a disfiguring injury to the tip of a penis. But “cut it off?” Naah, that’d take an unrealistic number of salami slices and an unrealistic dedication to being salami sliced. ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/7 "2024-04-14T15:15:46Z")
why call it urban legend - when it is a (well studied) fact? > **[Penile injuries from vacuum cleaners.](https://www.bmj.com/content/281/6232/26.2)** and … here is a quite famous (at least in german speaking countries) doctoral thesis on the topic: > **[DOKTORARBEIT Penisverletzungen Bei Masturbation Mit Staubsaugern | PDF](https://www.scribd.com/document/62231846/DOKTORARBEIT-Penisverletzungen-Bei-Masturbation-Mit-Staubsaugern)** > > Scribd ist die weltweit größte soziale Plattform zum Lesen und Veröffentlichen. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/8 "2024-04-14T15:18:29Z")
> [@Al128](#): > > why call it urban legend - when it is a (well studied) fact? The urban legend appears to be the “gets cut off” bit. ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/9 "2024-04-14T15:23:45Z")
ahh … ok … here are some “typically to expect results” (spoilerd link to graphic material) [link to med. photos of penile lacerations caused by vacuum cleaners - push deeper at your own risk](https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Vacuum-cleaner-injury-to-penis%3A-a-common-urologic-Benson/10bb771e82855d48547008a7eda9af58b6329c6a) ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/10 "2024-04-14T16:46:32Z")
I don’t think the internals of a vacuum are even set up in such a way as the opposite end of the unobstructed tube is the exposed fan blades. That would mean all the debris and dirt you vacuum goes right through the fan blades which would be a terrible design. The opposite end of a vacuum hose usually terminates with a vacuum bag or dust collector. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/11 "2024-04-14T17:56:17Z")
What’s the first rule of Penis-in-Vac club? You don’t talk about Penis-in-Vac club. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/12 "2024-04-14T18:13:59Z")
> [@Al128](#): > > here is a quite famous (at least in german speaking countries) doctoral thesis on the topic: I must say I’m fascinated by the concept of someone earning a PhD based on a dissertation on the consequences of sticking your schlong into a vacuum cleaner. I don’t speak German but Google Translate informs me that the thesis title is “Penile Injuries During Masturbation With Vacuum Cleaners”. I was also interested in what department this fascinating study occurred. Turns out it was the Department of Urology at the University of Munich. Which I understand has a number of used vacuum cleaners for sale. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/13 "2024-04-14T18:45:57Z")
Vaccums for sale cheap. Lightly used. Some biohazard cleanup required. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2024, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/14 "2024-04-14T19:00:57Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > What’s the first rule of Penis-in-Vac club? You don’t get the one that will rip your dick off. [WKUK Vacuum Cleaner sketch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2EMGmv0FqM). ---
**Author:** ![md-2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@md-2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md-2000)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/15 "2024-04-15T23:47:16Z")
I thought the urban legend was the suction caused the man’s penis to burst and rupture. (But apparently it’s a good way to retreive your gerbil… 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![spifflog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@spifflog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spifflog)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2024, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/16 "2024-04-16T11:05:10Z")
Need answer fast?!? ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2024, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/17 "2024-04-16T12:33:09Z")
> [@md-2000](#): > > I thought the urban legend was the suction caused the man’s penis to burst and rupture. Suction-related tearing seems unlikely, but I can well imagine effects similar to what **[cupping therapy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupping_therapy)** causes: > Cupping may cause breaks in the [capillaries](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capillaries) (small blood vessels) in the [papillary dermis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papillary_dermis) layer of the [skin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skin), resulting in the appearance of [petechiae](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petechiae) and [purpura](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purpura).[[1]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupping_therapy#cite_note-Vashi2018-1) These marks are sometimes mistaken for signs of [child abuse](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_abuse) when cupping is performed on children.[[1]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupping_therapy#cite_note-Vashi2018-1) > > Cupping therapy adverse events can be divided into local and systemic adverse events. The local adverse events may include scar formation, burns, linear bruising or streaks (wet cupping), skin ulcers, undesired [darkening of the skin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperpigmentation), [panniculitis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panniculitis), [erythema ab igne](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erythema_ab_igne), induction of the [Koebner phenomenon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koebner_phenomenon) in susceptible individuals with [psoriasis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psoriasis), and pain at the cupping site.[[1]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupping_therapy#cite_note-Vashi2018-1)[[2]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupping_therapy#cite_note-Lilly2012-2) A theoretical risk of infection exists but there are no reports of this as of 2012.[[2]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupping_therapy#cite_note-Lilly2012-2) ---
**Author:** ![a6ka97](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@a6ka97](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a6ka97)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2024, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/18 "2024-04-16T14:12:10Z")
The story I heard is that a not so smart man was told that he could get off using a vacuum cleaner not realizing he needed a canister type vacuum with a hose and a detachable power head and used an upright vacuum instead. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2024, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/19 "2024-04-16T14:18:22Z")
The story i heard was that guys got stuck, and had to go to the ED, vacuum cleaner and all. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2024, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256/20 "2024-04-16T14:44:18Z")
ED is what got him into that situation in the first place [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-man-sticks-penis-into-vacuum-gets-cut-off-how-true-is-it/1000256.md?page=2)