# Urban legend or real? (Who authored this nonsense verse?) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 31, 2004, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425 "2004-12-31T14:15:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jdschina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/aeb1de/32.png) [@jdschina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jdschina)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/1 "2004-12-31T14:15:45Z")
Who wrote “Admission is free, pay at the door, pull up a chair and sit on the floor…”? ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/2 "2004-12-31T14:32:28Z")
Ladles and Jellyspoons, I come before you, to stand behind you, To tell you something I know nothing about. Next Thursday, which is Good Friday, There will be a mothers’ meeting for fathers only. Admission is free, pay at the door, Pull up a seat and sit on the floor. We will be discussing the four corners of the round table. Author: Unknown ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/3 "2004-12-31T14:34:25Z")
Durn…hit post to fast. Some people credit Spike Milligan with the poem. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/4 "2004-12-31T15:09:56Z")
One fine day in the middle of the night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to back they faced the other Drew their swords and shot each other If you don’t believe these words are true Ask the blind man, he saw it, too How many of these things are there? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/5 "2004-12-31T15:14:20Z")
I heard the second-to-last line of that one as “If you don’t believe these **lies** are true”. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/6 "2004-12-31T15:19:49Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > I heard the second-to-last line of that one as “If you don’t believe these **lies** are true”. Yes, you’re right. What is this style called, anyways? ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/7 "2004-12-31T15:45:48Z")
You may find more aficionados of this sort of _literary_ effort in **Cafe Society**. ( **jdschina** , a small word of advice: you’ll get better responses to your questions if the title gives us _some_ clue as to what you are seeking. I’m going to change the title as I move the thread.) [/Moderator Mode] ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/8 "2004-12-31T16:33:05Z")
There’s a long folk / oral tradition going back to the early 1300s of making up deliberately nonsensical ‘tall tales’; the first cite for this kind of nonsense rhyming comes from a manuscript of _Land of Cockaigne_, written in 1305. [This site](http://www.folklore.bc.ca/Onefineday.htm#Introduction) goes into more detail about it. ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/9 "2004-12-31T17:07:56Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > I heard the second-to-last line of that one as “If you don’t believe these **lies** are true”. I also heard it with the following insertion: […] drew their swords and shot each other \*\*the deaf man heard the terrible noise and got up to stop the two dead boys\*\* if you don’t believe […] ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/10 "2004-12-31T17:26:38Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > One fine day in the middle of the night > > Two dead boys got up to fight > > Back to back they faced the other > > Drew their swords and shot each other > > If you don’t believe these words are true > > Ask the blind man, he saw it, too I heard: A deaf cop heard the noise And nearly killed the two dead boys. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/11 "2004-12-31T18:42:58Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Ask the blind man, he saw it, too “I see” said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw. ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/12 "2004-12-31T19:26:03Z")
> [@NoclueBoy](#): > > One fine day in the middle of the night > Two dead boys got up to fight > Back to back they faced the other > Drew their swords and shot each other > If you don’t believe these words are true > Ask the blind man, he saw it, too I originally heard this as: _One fine day in the middle of the night Two dead men got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, Drew their swords and shot each other. One blind man to see fair play, One dumb man to shout “Hooray” – A headless donkey passing by Kicked the blind man in the eye, Over a hedge and through a brick wall, In a dry ditch and drowned them all._ I don’t claim this is necessarily an improvement. But it’s the way I learned it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/13 "2004-12-31T19:46:21Z")
So many variations… I wonder how old this one is? ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/14 "2004-12-31T19:50:47Z")
The way I heard it: One bright day in the middle of the night Two dead men got up to fight Back to back they faced each Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise And came and shot those two dead boys If you don’t believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it to. And I forget the other one Reeder put up but I remember something about Hens being in there (then ending I come before you, to stand behind you, To tell you of something I know nothing about.) ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/15 "2004-12-31T19:52:13Z")
Nobody reads my cite. _sigh at **NoClueBoy** _ It evolved from rhyming couplets in the Middle Ages, and the complete poem as is (including many of the variations) can be dated back to the mid-19th century. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/16 "2004-12-31T19:56:05Z")
Sorry, I did look at it, just didn’t notice to scroll down. ;j ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/17 "2004-12-31T19:59:59Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Sorry, I did look at it, just didn’t notice to scroll down. ;j Ballad of Impossibilities. I like that title! ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/18 "2004-12-31T21:06:32Z")
> [@](#): > > If you don’t believe these words are true > > Ask the blind man, he saw it, too Another version - mine was sung to a tune /A deaf policeman heard the noise /And came and killed those two dead boys /Boom-boon ain’t it great to be crazy, etc. This thread inspires me to dig out my copy of Tempest’s Sunken Treasures tape. It has a song titled “Nottamun Town”. It’s a little less whacky, but is pure nonsense. ---
**Author:** ![stanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@stanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stanger)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urban-legend-or-real-who-authored-this-nonsense-verse/282425/19 "2004-12-31T21:34:02Z")
Back in the early 1960’s my parents bought me a book of jokes. I think it was one of those “Golden Books”, the kind with the hard front and back covers. It has very simple jokes for a child to tell, but there was one thing in it that was not really a joke as I would call it. I have never forgotten it (or ever heard it mentioned anywhere else until now). In its entirelty … One bright day in the middle of the night Two dead men stood up to fight Three blind men to see fair play Forty mutes to yell ‘Hooray’ Back to back they faced one another Drew their blades and shot each other