# Urges you ignore (Because going to jail or being comitted sucks) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 28, 2000, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274 "2000-07-28T22:42:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/41 "2000-07-31T16:12:11Z")
On Stressful days I want to get an old fashioned mace and go postal. Sometimes I daydream of being a bank robbery. not one of those stocking over theface jobs, but really well planned… ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/42 "2000-07-31T19:42:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Welfy \* > \*\* > Sometimes when I’m with a really handsome guy I have the urge to just stop everything I’m doing and pounce on the guy and have my way with him, but I’d probably end up feeling a lot of regret (and have a lot of restraining orders). > \*\* No comment (except that I’m free saturday night ;)) * * * I’ve driven over 100 mph (speedo only goes to 85, but I timed a mile in 35 seconds and still accelerating) in my 360 cid V8-powered '84 Jeep Grand Wagoneer (scary–it has the aerodynamics of a sailboat, if you know what I mean) * * * Denied urges: murder (self-explanatory) suicide (more of an “I wonder what’d happen if I…”) pulling fire alarms I’ll think of more later… ---
**Author:** ![Grendel69](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7bcc69/32.png) [@Grendel69](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grendel69)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/43 "2000-07-31T20:00:43Z")
Sometimes I want to shoot people with paintballs while sitting in my room on the third floor. If for anything, just for the look on their face. I think I might try to realize Cranky’s fantasy when I go out to dinner this weekend… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/44 "2000-07-31T23:26:22Z")
My fantasy is somewhat similiar to Cranky’s, only mine would be revenge on customers. See, I would take my Kmart vest and a fake nametag to another Kmart. When any customer asks me for help, I’d be like, “Fuck off!” Or something like that! I just REALLY want to do that. Is that so wrong? ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/45 "2000-08-01T00:41:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Welfy \* > > \*\* > > Does your school library have one of those book detectors that’s similar to those anti theft detectors in bookstores? A favorite trick of my friends was to slip a really thin book in someone’s backpack (thin so he wouldn’t notice) to set off the book alarm. > > I controlled that urge, of course (OK, mostly because I was a coward). > > \*\* Man we did this all the time in my High School. I have a feeling the urge the librarian always had was smashing one of us preppified punks over the head with the Webster’s New World Dictionary. Then quietly going back to her work. Q: Fastest in a car? A: 132 mph. in a Toyota MR-2. I was young and coming back from Chicago. Had to blow off grid-lock induced steam. I don’t know why, but I’ve always wanted to do bad things at the gas station. Fill up my tank. Gaze at the person behind the counter, and then just drive off like nothings wrong. When I do go in to pay I have an overwhelming fealing of saying, “This is a stick-up! On the floor and knowone gets hurt. You hear me!?! Empty the register and don’t forget about the safe either!” Finally, when you get your car fixed and the mechanic is motioning you into the work bay, I’ve always wanted to just floor it right into him. 'Closer, closer, that’s it." _Screech… vrooommmmm!_ “Take that with your silly butt hand gestures!” ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/46 "2000-08-01T07:08:42Z")
You know, I always assumed that bank robberies are like, 98% solved, but I was reading an article in the KC Star the other day that claimed that only 47-53% of all robbers are ever caught. So go for it! 🙂 J/K Gnut: I may have to do that after I quit Best Buy. Grendel: I’ve had friends that did that, it would have been funny if it was at a college campus or something, but they went through an ‘old growth’ neighborhood and shot unsuspecting old people. That’s just wrong. Xizor: In my thrice wrecked old beast of an Escort, I did that all the freaking time. It was GREAT, seeing the look on the road crew’s faces as this juggernaut car careening down the road, slamming into barrels and cones and sticks (the white ones, plastic, with reflectors on the top that are permenantly set into the road in places) Sua: The first day of ever class, I try to get a feel if I should get a front seat, or a door seat. Zoing: Same urge. Usually a very attractive young lady. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![barking\_frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@barking\_frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/barking_frog)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/47 "2000-08-01T08:05:26Z")
I don’t really care for fire alarms or jumping, but I _do_ wonder how it would feel if I was on a bridge, and it suddenly collapses, and me falling onto a truck. I always think about the different levels of pain if it collapsed as I reach the other end. My other urges though are mainly of course the head-on thing, red-lining the car on the freeway and watching the faces of the other drivers as I go 120km/h past them as if they were standing still, and going from a dime to 200km/h next to a police car at a intersection. While waiting in a room, I hate those people with those cell phones that have a extra-loud ring, and having it ring once a minute. I want to take the phone, throw it in the garbage, walk away, and not say a word. Same with pagers. I hate people who state the obvious. I just want to tell them they’re a fucking idiot or shut the fuck up, and walk away. As for the top speed, I only have my learners also, but I had to go 160km/h a week ago on the highway to pass some ass who accelerated just to not let me exit. I had the urge to just go beside him and push him off the road. ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/48 "2000-08-01T08:16:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > \*\*I’d like to eat at a restaurant, leave adequate money on the table after the bill comes, but jump up, knocking our chairs over, snatching our coats, purses, etc, and break for the door at a mad gallop AS IF we were trying to run out on the bill. I’d like to see the waitstaff stare at us, stunned, for a moment, before breaking into a run to come grab us. When they caught us (assuming they didn’t hurt me too bad in the flying tackle), I’d smugly tell them we PAID the bill! Then maybe stalk back over to our table and say “But I’m definitely cutting the tip NOW!” and angrily snatch back a couple singles from the pile, wipe my bloody nose with great dignity, and walk out. > > I want to do this SOOOOOO bad. I can’t explain why. \*\* I think I know you well enough to venture a guess: You’re such an honest person that you realize you couldn’t possibly Dine & Dash, but you want the _feeling_ of being bad, so this is how you deal with it…_fantasizing_ about being bad. ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/49 "2000-08-01T08:19:42Z")
Damn…forgot to add my own 2 cents. I frequently want to shoot people. Not random people, but in a vigilante-ish kinda way, I want to blow away people that need to be blown away. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/50 "2000-08-01T10:34:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CnoteChris \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by Welfy \* > > > \*\* > > > > Does your school library have one of those book detectors that’s similar to those anti theft detectors in bookstores? A favorite trick of my friends was to slip a really thin book in someone’s backpack (thin so he wouldn’t notice) to set off the book alarm. > > > > I controlled that urge, of course (OK, mostly because I was a coward). > > \*\* > > Man we did this all the time in my High School. I have a feeling the urge the librarian always had was smashing one of us preppified punks over the head with the Webster’s New World Dictionary. Then quietly going back to her work. > \*\* Our head librarian probably had the same urge. This doesn’t qualify as an urge per se, but I was one of the few people in my school to be banned from the library for a semester. Not for the hidden book trick, but for playing chess. Oh, all right. We were playing chess but had smuggled in some drinks from Pup 'N Taco. The chess game was pretty contentious, and it degenerated into a mini food fight. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/51 "2000-08-01T15:49:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shanin \* > \*\* I answer a lot of complaint calls day after day week after week sometimes I want to just start slamming the phone on my desk as hard as I can about 5 or 6 times and then hang up on them. But I do not do any of those things becaus I don’t want to get fired from my job and I don’t like being beat up. \*\* Do you work at MicroHellhouse? When I did I wanted to do that with my phone almost non-stop. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/52 "2000-08-01T16:03:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*My fantasy is somewhat similiar to Cranky’s, only mine would be revenge on customers. > See, I would take my Kmart vest and a fake nametag to another Kmart. When any customer asks me for help, I’d be like, “Fuck off!” Or something like that! > I just REALLY want to do that. Is that so wrong? > \*\* This weekend I was mistaken for an employee 3 times in different stores. This happens quite often. I’m dying to have some cranky person go off on me. It would be fun… the person goes nuts, we walk over to the service desk, the manager listens to the complaint, and then “well, he does not work here…” Then the gigglefest. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/53 "2000-08-01T16:10:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ian Fan \* > \*\*7As for the top speed, I only have my learners also, but I had to go 160km/h a week ago on the highway to pass some ass who accelerated just to not let me exit. I had the urge to just go beside him and push him off the road. \*\* Someone did this to me last week. When they got next to me I rolled my window down (only about 30mph or so) and yelled _ **MY CAR WEIGHS FIVE THOUSAND POUNDS!!!** _ He looked at me, paused and said “what?!?!?” I mentioned that I wanted to change lanes and my car weighed five thousand pounds. (big ugly and old- and '86 chevy caprice station wagon registered weight 5185 lbs.) He slowed down. I moved over. I exited. I smiled quietly to myself. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/54 "2000-08-01T21:36:35Z")
Dry, A food fight over chess. Cute. Urges I was proud of myself for not following: I want to shove the staff of the Warrenty Center into the Phos coat tanks at work. The next ten people who expect my lab to discover what was originally wrong with a part after they have messed with it can join them. “Can you tell what made these scratches?” “What scratches?” “Well, it was scratched, but I sanded it to see how far down they went, can you test it for contamination or something?” “Hey guys, we got another one, chem’s good on the tanks? Sir, I have place for you to swim.” ---
**Author:** ![filthy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@filthy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filthy)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/55 "2000-08-01T22:37:58Z")
I’d really love to kick a sanctimonious neighbor’s ass right up amongst his ears and have to stay away from him 'cause I might get a little crazy some day and try it. Sometimes have to resist the urge to write scatological / ridiculing / threatening letters to various leaders. And sign my real name! (Lust for dubious fame). How 'bout walking into City Hall smoking a joint and offering the Mayor a toke (more of a fantasy than an urge). I’ve got some others that are even more preposterous. Top speed: 158.781 mph, clocked on the flying mile at a land speed trials. Vehicle was a stroked, Harley Davidson Sportster, which I still own. May ride it again, someday. luck, filthy ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/56 "2000-08-02T05:29:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Medea’s Child \* > \*\*Dry, > A food fight over chess. Cute. > \*\* Hey, chess is a really competitive game! Yes, the food fight was more over being wild spirits (and immaturity) than it was the chess game, per se. And no, I don’t condone poor sportsmanship (though food fights certainly used to be fun). But yeah, we’ve gotten into (mostly not super heated) disputes over far more frivilous things. [QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Wonko The Sane \* \*\* > [@](#): > > This weekend I was mistaken for an employee 3 times in different stores. This happens quite often. I’m dying to have some cranky person go off on me. It would be fun… the person goes nuts, we walk over to the service desk, the manager listens to the complaint, and then “well, he does not work here…” > > Then the gigglefest. \*\* I used to get mistaken for an employee EVERY TIME I shopped at a Brentano’s during my lunch hour (no suit, just regular dress clothes and a tie). I was always tempted to send a customer on a wild goose chase, but I never did. I simply told whoever asked that no, I wasn’t an employee. Lame, I know. Mea culpa. ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/57 "2000-08-02T18:29:15Z")
I can never pass a public fountain without the urge to jump in. In fact that DID almost get me arrested, many years ago… My friends and I, after playing quarters for a couple hours (that was my first mistake) on a hot, hot night, decided to find some relief from the heat. I had a great idea. Gist of the story is that I came _that_ close to being hauled off to the station by an irate cop who caught me in the midst of the big Norwest Bank fountain. It was bar time on a Saturday night, d’oh! and I was actually wearing a SWIMMING suit, double d’oh! It was a BANK fountain, not that there’d be any SECURITY GUARDS around, you moron, d’oh d’oh D’OH! I think the only thing that saved me was the answer to the cop’s “How old are you anyway?” Twenty seven. Oh, to be young and foolish again… ---
**Author:** ![John\_Bredin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@John\_Bredin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Bredin)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/58 "2000-08-02T20:27:19Z")
For the women who posted that one of their urges was to take their shirt off in public, there was a report in the Chicago Sun-Times today that one of the delegates to the Republican National Convention in Philly, a woman from North Dakota, took off her shirt upon the request of security personnel because they told her that all the campaign buttons on the shirt were confusing the metal detector. The problem was, the woman had nothing on under the shirt. (Well, whether that was a problem or not depends on who you ask.) The thing that, umm, attracted my attention was that the woman took off the shirt immediately, without any argument and knowing she didn’t have a bra on. ---
**Author:** ![robbaba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a4c791/32.png) [@robbaba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robbaba)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/59 "2000-08-02T21:03:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homer \* > \*\* > What’s the fastest everyone here’s driven? C’mon, share, even if it’s something stupid like 83 or 96. > > –Tim \*\* Fastest for me was 128 mph in my 1992 Plymouth laser RS 2.0 litre. I think I would have gotten 130 but I ran out of road! ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274/60 "2000-08-02T21:12:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ian Fan \* > \*\* > My other urges though are mainly of course the head-on thing, red-lining the car on the freeway and watching the faces of the other drivers as I go 120km/h past them as if they were standing still, and going from a dime to 200km/h next to a police car at a intersection. > \*\* One time my dad and his future brother-in-law (sister’s BF) were on I-20 (in '68 or so, before it was finished and there was very little traffic). My dad was the passenger. They passed a police car. 5 minutes later, they passed the cop again, after turning around…going _135 miles an hour_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urges-you-ignore-because-going-to-jail-or-being-comitted-sucks/27274.md?page=4)