# Urinal Etiquette
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 23, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562 "2004-07-23T19:16:33Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/1 "2004-07-23T19:16:33Z")
I was on vacation with my wife recently, which we spent in a Pocono Mountain resort. Most evenings we would go to their nightclub for a bit of drinking, dancing, shows, etc.
One evening there, when I went to the men’s room, I found it empty. I had my pick of eight urinals to choose from. I walked up to the second one and began my business (for these purposes, we’ll call the setup urinals #1-8, running left to right. I was at urinal #2).
A moment later, another gentleman enters and promptly walks up to urinal #3.
Now, if a bathroom were packed, I’d have no problem with this. I know when I step into the bathroom at Giants Stadium, I’ll be waiting in a line three-deep in front of each urinal. But in this case, I gotta say this was uncalled for. Spread out, man! Gimme a little elbow room.
I would have to say that \*The Big Book of Urinal Etiquette \* would have to begin with:
**Rule #1: Unless there is no option available, do not use a urinal adjacent to another urinal already in use.**
What else should we have on this list?
---
### Author:  [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/2 "2004-07-23T19:22:53Z")
**Rule #3: Eyes front.**
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/3 "2004-07-23T19:24:37Z")
Obviously, they should have taken the [urinal test.](http://www.drinknation.com/urinaltest.php)
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### Author:  [@Arch\_Trout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arch_Trout)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/4 "2004-07-23T19:25:40Z")
It’s all here:
[Ten Commandments of proper urinal etiquette](http://www.ubersite.com/m/25664)
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/5 "2004-07-23T19:28:02Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#):
>
> **Rule #3: Eyes front.**
Shall we back up and have a Rule #2? 😃
**Rule #2: Stand close enough not to pee on the floor.**
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### Author:  [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/6 "2004-07-23T19:45:53Z")
From Arch trout’s link:
> [@](#):
>
> If the guy at urinal 1 leaves, and the next guys walks all of the way to urinal 5 to stand next to you at number 6, than that guy is either gay, or is very comfortable with themself and feels like making you uncomfortable. (I love doing that.) Guys who fill out even urinals before odd just fuck everything up with their stupidity and should be eliminated from the gene pool.
So, according to this, Hal Briston’s pee partner was ‘either gay, or is very comfortable with themself and feels like making [Hal Briston] uncomfortable.’
Also according to this, Hal Briston, by taking an even-numbered urinal first demonstrated the need to eliminate him from the gene pool.
I think this link is being needlessly harsh. And anyway, the most important rule is never addressed: **NO TALKING, ASSHOLE!!**
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### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/7 "2004-07-23T19:49:34Z")
\*\*Rule #4: \*\* There will be NO rule #4
\*\*Rule #5: \*\* When you pick your nose whilst pissin,’ flick the booger into the water or at least hose it off the back wall of the urinal. Don’t leave it there to adhere to the porcelan! That’s gross.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/8 "2004-07-23T19:53:13Z")
**Rule #6** : NO TALKING.
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### Author:  [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/9 "2004-07-23T20:15:26Z")
Rule #1 is you do not talk about Urinal Club
Rule #2 is you do not talk about Urinal Club
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/10 "2004-07-23T20:18:18Z")
I believe Rich Hall had a “pspot” sniglet, it being the point directly above the urinal where one must stare.
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### Author:  [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/11 "2004-07-23T20:25:01Z")
This happens with women’s bathrooms as well. Here are my rules:
1. I always go for an end to leave the most possible options for the next rider.
2. If necessary, I will use the gimp stall before sidling up to someone else’s stall.
3. If Opal is in the next stall, I’ll say, “Hi, Opal!”
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### Author:  [@Frank\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank_2)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/12 "2004-07-23T20:30:58Z")
**Rule #7:** No poofters.
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### Author:  [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/13 "2004-07-23T20:32:35Z")
As a gay male who frequents a straight gym, I’m curious about male lockerroom etiquette. I’ve noticed a distinct set of behaviors among obviously straight guys, and some more obviously gay guys. I’d have to sit down for a while to write it all down, but there’s a definite mystique to it all. I think we need a resource for this. 😉
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### Author:  [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/14 "2004-07-23T20:33:50Z")
> [@Frank #2](#):
>
> **Rule #7:** No poofters.
Hey, we have to piss too. If you’re that hung up, go into a bloody stall to piss.
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### Author:  [@Arch\_Trout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arch_Trout)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/15 "2004-07-23T20:39:29Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#):
>
> From Arch trout’s link:
>
> So, according to this, Hal Briston’s pee partner was ‘either gay, or is very comfortable with themself and feels like making [Hal Briston] uncomfortable.’
>
> Also according to this, Hal Briston, by taking an even-numbered urinal first demonstrated the need to eliminate him from the gene pool.
>
> I think this link is being needlessly harsh. And anyway, the most important rule is never addressed: **NO TALKING, ASSHOLE!!**
Harsh but fair I think.
Always pick an odd numbered urinal first.
Picking urinal number two is leaving yourself opened to being sandwiched.
I always pick the far left urinal apart from one certain pub in which I always take the far right one.
Does America have troughs like they do in Britain?
Trough etiquette is far more complicated.
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### Author:  [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/16 "2004-07-23T20:44:35Z")
_SO_ glad I’m a girl. SO, SO GLAD!!
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### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/17 "2004-07-23T20:48:00Z")
> [@scott evil](#):
>
> Hey, we have to piss too. If you’re that hung up, go into a bloody stall to piss.
Easy there, you great fairy. He’s picking up on a Monty Python biscuit I tossed off…I mean out. 😃
**Arch Trout** I’ve only ever seen troughs at huge places like a sports arena. And at those times it’s been literally a “shoulder to shoulder” bonding experience with little room for etiquette beyond “eyes front.”
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/18 "2004-07-23T20:57:13Z")
> [@Ghanima](#):
>
> _SO_ glad I’m a girl. SO, SO GLAD!!
Especially considering the trough thing…
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### Author:  [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/19 "2004-07-23T20:58:39Z")
And not only are the troughs being used at these crowded sporting events, often there are guys pissing in the sinks too. To the best of my knowledge, there are no etiquette rules for sink pissing.
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### Author:  [@paperclip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paperclip)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2004, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urinal-etiquette/256562/20 "2004-07-23T21:00:09Z")
> [@Arch Trout](#):
>
> Does America have troughs like they do in Britain?
>
> Trough etiquette is far more complicated.
We do, but they aren’t common at all. One of the bathrooms at the junior high school I went to had one. It was only big enough for three guys stand around. Those things always made me uncomfortable. I think they made all of us 8th graders uncomfortable. We used them, nonetheless.
I always make a point of standing as far away from everyone else at urinals. Just common courtesy I thought.
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