# Urine Luck **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 3, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562 "2003-02-03T19:10:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/21 "2003-02-03T21:45:35Z")
And all this time my mother said I was an only child… ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/22 "2003-02-03T21:49:31Z")
Jay-zuz! Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/23 "2003-02-03T22:21:58Z")
Damn! I can’t find “The Ballad of the Split Pee.” Someone wrote it for me when I complained of the same problem! Trinopus ---
**Author:** ![PolarField](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@PolarField](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PolarField)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/24 "2003-02-03T22:43:01Z")
The problem seems to be that the nozzle of your “hose” is made of flesh and therefore inherently unreliable. Perhaps someone should invent a steel nozzle that can be inserted into the tip of your “hose” to correct the flow, much like a high-speed nozzle for a garden hose. A quick search for “urethra nozzle” on google drug up this picture, which is similar to what I’m proposing: [http://www.roversmedicaldevices.com/Images/Penibrush1.JPG](http://www.roversmedicaldevices.com/Images/Penibrush1.JPG) ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/25 "2003-02-03T22:43:07Z")
If you find it, **Trinopus** you will be my new local best friend. That sounds like it would be hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/26 "2003-02-03T22:57:45Z")
I always thought that split-streamed pee, in addition to the infamous hard-right-turn-upon-leaving-the-wang pee, were both due to, how shall I put it, residues of other, non-urine, uses to which said wang had been put. As a cite, I offer a paraphrased quote from **Me, Myself and Irene** : “Why am I pissing like I had sex all night?” ---
**Author:** ![Stella\_Fantasia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@Stella\_Fantasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stella_Fantasia)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/27 "2003-02-03T23:38:35Z")
I have never been so happy to be a girl in all my life. ---
**Author:** ![aleksia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/91b2a8/32.png) [@aleksia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aleksia)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/28 "2003-02-04T00:39:12Z")
Eh, penis… ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/29 "2003-02-04T01:37:19Z")
**lieu** , you’re a freakish threat to all that is godly in this great country of ours. I’m on to your little games. It took some doing, but I think we really know what your attitudes toward urine are…right? Would you care to explain [this](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/porche1.html) to us, **Mr. “Kenneth Patrick Porche” lieu**? You’re a very bad man, Mr Porche–er lieu. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/30 "2003-02-04T02:00:43Z")
All these posts and not a single Dick Cheney joke? Look on the bright side, **lieu:** now you can water two trees at once. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/31 "2003-02-04T02:43:14Z")
:eek: I had NO IDEA!!! Poor guys! Echos another poster “I’m sooooooooooooo glad to be a girl”!!! ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/32 "2003-02-04T02:54:42Z")
**NurseCarmen** , your urethra is shaped like **sleestak**?? News to him I’m sure! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/33 "2003-02-04T05:02:57Z")
That’s how twins are made, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/34 "2003-02-04T05:30:51Z")
Damn. Now I’m going to snicker the next time someone is called a V.I.P. ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/35 "2003-02-04T06:03:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beagledave \* > \*\ ***lieu** , > > Would you care to explain [this](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/porche1.html) to us, **Mr. “Kenneth Patrick Porche” lieu**? > > You’re a very bad man, Mr Porche–er lieu. \*\* :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![d\_redguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@d\_redguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d_redguy)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/36 "2003-02-04T06:22:57Z")
“Binary Bukkake”! HA!! …I know it’s up a ways, but **Waverly** , my friend…that was quality. I’d put in the obligatory “band name” reference here, but I’ll pass. **wanders away grinning, muttering, "binary bukkake, heh."** ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/37 "2003-02-04T07:39:18Z")
You should masturbate three times a day. Don’t know what to do about that split urine stream thing, though. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/38 "2003-02-04T14:34:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*Dedgummit, I’ve been struck with _V Pee_! > > What make it a problem is that sometimes it’s a nice, normal single stream but only occassionally will it split into two. Herein lies the rub. When you see one stream, maybe there really is only one stream… but… what if there’s actually two and you just haven’t checked adequately enough for the other and it’s turning your pants into a giant roll of _Bounty_? There’s plenty of time to piss my pants later on, this middle aged short soaking crap has got to stop.\*\* Happens to me too, an upper and a lower stream, primarily early in the morning. My lower stream never has much pressure behind it so it’s easy to redirect with my index finger. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/39 "2003-02-04T15:05:44Z")
_mental note: never shake hands with Jeff Olsen_ ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562/40 "2003-02-04T17:18:22Z")
Heh. 🙂 I always give my hands a good scrub when done. The ones you really have to watch out for are those don’t wash up after taking a crap. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/urine-luck/152562.md?page=3)