Disclaimer: I follow sports a little, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been passionate about any of them. I don’t even watch the Super Bowl anymore.
My problem with soccer on the professional level is that it really is kids’ game, i.e. one where you can be less than great and still hold your own and one blunder is almost never fatal. It’s a great way to get the young’uns outside, give them some exercise, teach them about cooperation and sportsmanship and following a gameplan, and show the rewards of doing something right. (I was in youth soccer for several years, and it was pretty much the only active competition in my life that I didn’t absolutely loathe every damn second of.)
It’s exactly because these ideals that I can’t get passionate about it. I wouldn’t call it boring so much as futile. There are an astonishing number of things that result in zippo net gain for either side. Field position, as already been mentioned, is worthless the vast majority of the time. A foul results in a free kick that leads to nothing. A yellow card foul, if it happens outside the penalty box, does nothing but make it a “direct” free kick, which means it can score outright, provided that it makes its way around 4-5 defenders and catches the goalkeeper in a coma. Even a corner kick hardly ever results in so much as another corner kick, much less a goal. This isn’t a sport where “nothing happens”, it’s a sport where lots of things happen that don’t matter.
If I want lots of men running around for a few hours, I’d rather watch a marathon. At least I know who’s ahead.
I find the World Cup fairly entertaining, especially since it’s almost always tight and you never know how a contest is going to turn out. I’m not fanatical about it, though, and I certainly won’t watch it at extremely odd hours. My favorite finals, BTW, were the two France were in: Unbeatable high drama and a stunning result both times.
Flopping is an embarrassment, but at least the leagues have gotten tough on it (it’s even its own penalty now, “simulation”). And I understand the need for some kind of offside, I just think that letting the defender determine where it begins is stupid. Why can’t there be a big, highly visible line, like in hockey? Behind it, onside, past it, offside. No muss, no fuss.
I don’t see how not caring for soccer automatically makes you a rabid baseball fan. I find baseball the most unwatchable sport in existence. Because there are absolutely NO time restrictions for ANYTHING. The pitcher makes the pitch when he’s good and ready, the batter can step out of the box at any time for any reason and take as long as he pleases getting back in, time outs are free and unlimited at all times (I’ve seen multiple time outs on the same at-bat). Know how sumo, at least at the top level, has a 4-5 minute prematch ritual before every match? That’s two fairly brisk at-bats in baseball, less than that if there are foul balls and/or pickoff attempts (which can be done infinitely without penalty). It can get exciting…Joe Carter’s Game 6-winning home run was an awesome moment I saw live…but no way in hell could I ever watch even three innings in their entirety, much less a whole game.
Now golf, it’s definitely slow paced, but the huge advantage it has over baseball is that there are lots of different competitors on the course at the same time. So the cameramen can go from player to player, always getting someone who’s doing something at the time; we don’t need to watch Sergio Garcia regripping for four minutes. Furthermore, because there are lots of camera angles, there’s no danger of not knowing where the ball went. Now, golf broadcasts are subject to certain…abuses (coughTigerTigerTigercough), but on the whole, you’re getting helluva lot more action than in baseball. Of course, if you watch it live, that’s a different story (as it is for soccer), and I don’t recommend it at all unless you want to feel the course beneath your feet or are going to follow a certain player.
Auto racing, well, you can take it or leave it (I used to follow NASCAR closely, but that was a while ago). The thing about it is that the exciting things are things the drivers are either trying to avoid (e.g. wrecks) or prevent (e.g. getting passed). And there are usually long stretches where not much of note happens. In general, though I find it more entertaining than soccer. Just so much speed, so much power, so close to the edge at all times. Not a whole lot of sports can compare.