# US school cancels prom to avoid lesbian student bringing a date **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 11, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108 "2010-03-11T15:28:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/281 "2010-04-07T18:07:16Z")
> [@Grave](#): > > No, not false. It was (in retrospect) so much easier to fight for racial equality. The lines were drawn by colors, and visual identifiers which were so, so much easier to decry and defeat. When it comes to homosexuality (or really, anything beyond vanilla hetero) the lines are not so easy to see. All races tend to be very vocally anti-homosexual, religion plays a crucial part… to conflate the two is to dimish them both. While both may be civil rights, the struggles are not the same. Why? What’s so hard about saying that everyone, regardless of whom they’re attracted to, should be afforded basic rights? That you should be allowed to have a date to the school dance who’s either male or female, as long as you’re both consenting? Yes, a lot of races and religions are anti-gay. And they’re all wrong. There are probably people of all races who are racist against…well, races besides their own. They’re wrong, too. There are probably also racist gay people and racist straight people. And again, wrong. What’s the point of saying that all races tend to be vocally anti homosexual? To point out that racism was bad because we know it’s bad, but anti homosexuality isn’t necessarily bad…because…lots of people hate gay people and…uh, it’s complicated, or something? Besides, race you could argue that there aren’t always visual IDs for race. Just as a gay person can pass by shutting up and pretending that they’re the default, some people can pass for white. There are people who are racially ambiguous as well. I’m feeling more and more sympathetic to what Constance had to through if these are the words of one of her teachers. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/282 "2010-04-07T18:07:41Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I do. Ditto. > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Why? What’s so hard about saying that everyone, regardless of whom they’re attracted to, should be afforded basic rights? That you should be allowed to have a date to the school dance who’s either male or female, as long as you’re both consenting? > > Yes, a lot of races and religions are anti-gay. And they’re all wrong. There are probably people of all races who are racist against…well, races besides their own. They’re wrong, too. There are probably also racist gay people and racist straight people. And again, wrong. What’s the point of saying that all races tend to be vocally anti homosexual? To point out that racism was bad because we know it’s bad, but anti homosexuality isn’t necessarily bad…because…lots of people hate gay people and…uh, it’s complicated, or something? > > Besides, race you could argue that there aren’t always visual IDs for race. Just as a gay person can pass by shutting up and pretending that they’re the default, some people can pass for white. There are people who are racially ambiguous as well. > > I’m feeling more and more sympathetic to what Constance had to through if these are the words of one of her teachers. QFT. Especially that last line. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/283 "2010-04-07T18:16:28Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I do. Fair enough. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/284 "2010-04-07T18:18:42Z")
> [@Grave](#): > > That is a very valid point, and I do not think there is anyway to conclusively prove or disprove it. I choose, looking at the overall situation, to not believe that to be the case. I’m not saying the principal was likely to reverse the policy. I don’t know anything about him. But I don’t think you have a counterargument on this point. If the policy was unofficial and he was avoiding enforcing the rule, he could have changed that at any time. > [@](#): > > Constance asked her assistant principle and superindentant for assurances that were beyond their power to give. She chose to do so in the face of data that said they would not follow the published policy. Again, I think this is understandable. And if they were ignoring the policy anyway there was no reason they could not have informed her privately. > [@](#): > > She asked for a public statement in (and perhaps this isn’t stated in the news) that she asked for a written letter and not verbal assurances. I see the problem this poses, but again, the school was ignoring its own rules in the first place and she wanted to know for sure that she would not have a problem. I can guess at reasons she brought this up so late in the day but we don’t know why for sure. Regardless, I don’t see this as her fault. And I know you’re trying to stop people from impugning your home state, but the bottom line is that she was right, and what you are saying about outside interference and people kicking up a fuss comes off as rather provincial. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/285 "2010-04-07T18:20:31Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I’m feeling more and more sympathetic to what Constance had to through if these are the words of one of her teachers. Words of one of her teachers? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/286 "2010-04-07T18:30:57Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Words of one of her teachers? Just went back and reread. Looks like **Grave** isn’t a teacher, but he/she has a cousin who teaches there and cousins who attend. Sorry, disregard what I said. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/287 "2010-04-07T18:40:34Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Just went back and reread. Looks like **Grave** isn’t a teacher, but he/she has a cousin who teaches there and cousins who attend. Sorry, disregard what I said. Yeah, while **Grave** doesn’t directly quote anybody or anything, they seem to attribute the thoughts and stuff presented to a teacher at that school. So, I think the original point stands. ---
**Author:** ![Grave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/71c47a/32.png) [@Grave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grave)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/288 "2010-04-07T18:42:26Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Why? What’s so hard about saying that everyone, regardless of whom they’re attracted to, should be afforded basic rights? That you should be allowed to have a date to the school dance who’s either male or female, as long as you’re both consenting? > > Yes, a lot of races and religions are anti-gay. And they’re all wrong. There are probably people of all races who are racist against…well, races besides their own. They’re wrong, too. There are probably also racist gay people and racist straight people. And again, wrong. What’s the point of saying that all races tend to be vocally anti homosexual? To point out that racism was bad because we know it’s bad, but anti homosexuality isn’t necessarily bad…because…lots of people hate gay people and…uh, it’s complicated, or something? > > Besides, race you could argue that there aren’t always visual IDs for race. Just as a gay person can pass by shutting up and pretending that they’re the default, some people can pass for white. There are people who are racially ambiguous as well. > > I’m feeling more and more sympathetic to what Constance had to through if these are the words of one of her teachers. I am not one of her teachers, and if that seems implied please forgive me. I have conversations with teachers at her school, but none of her direct instructors as far as I am aware. The few times I have quoted teachers there I have noted it. Ferret Herder, you missed my point. I will always be willing to fight for equality for all people. Their color, orientation, religion, cologne choice or whatever label one wants to put on them is not pertinent to me. As the Constitution states I hold that all people are created equal, and should be treated such. I merely intended to point out that the fight for sexual orientation rights is complex; more complex than most seem to understand. Look at the success of the various “Defense of Marriage” BS laws to see my point, please. Even in California, the fabled land of acceptance, the hateful Prop 8 was accepted. > [@Diosa and Melon](#): > > I do Then I suspect I have failed. I don’t think Constance should have been quiet, nor do I think she should have failed to challenge the rule as it stood. Her choice of venue and method I take considerable umbrage with, as well as the net and mass media embracing her as some sort of crusader for LGBT rights. [Quote=Marley] several good points [/quote] May we agree to disagree a this point? I have no citeable information to give you and therefore feel we are at an impasse. My provincal desire to show a different side of a mass media story is beyond dobbt, but that seems to denigrate that position in your esteem. I’d much rather shake and depart than sneeze into the wind again and again. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/289 "2010-04-07T19:01:35Z")
> [@Grave](#): > > My provincal desire to show a different side of a mass media story is beyond dobbt, but that seems to denigrate that position in your esteem. I’d much rather shake and depart than sneeze into the wind again and again. I appreciate the information and the perspective you’re giving us here. But your sources seem to have an axe to grind with her as far as her motives are concerned, and I disagree with that. And I also disagree with their view that she should have been grateful at the school’s nod and wink policy. While that policy is an improvement on the letter of the law I think she was entitled to ask to be given equal rights on paper, and I think the courts will agree with her. From what I can tell you agree with your sources on both these points. Even if she didn’t conduct her protest in the most effective manner, I don’t think that calls her character into question. She’s a high school senior. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/290 "2010-04-07T19:06:30Z")
> [@Grave](#): > > Pardon if this seems agressive, but are you really that out of touch with how teenagers work? When kids have a party, they invite the people they want to associate with - wrong as it may be that rarely includes the special needs kids. I’d wager it didn’t include quite a few other social misfits that are just not on the radar as it were. That is why the school holding the prom was important in the first place as it removed the need for invitations. No, I’m not out of touch. When I was in high school, my social circle cut across many cliques and subcultures, but it didn’t include any special needs or handicapped teens. None of the parties I attended had mainstreamed or handicapped attendees. Still, it seemed like the stated purpose of the twice-removed private prom was to get away from Constance and the media hype surrounding her. This wasn’t a house party of 20 or 40 kids, but rather an event that involved pretty much the rest of the school, and it was _organized by parents_. Other teachers probably had knowledge of the event, too. Excluding the special needs, and possibly unpopular students, from a de facto schoolwide event just seems to make the whole affair even crueler. That being said, if I was in the class of '10 of IAHS, and I had a choice of what prom to attend, well … I dunno. Even though I’d know Constance was in the right, I’d have to weigh taking a stand, having the media scrutinize my awful dancing skills, and the boredom of attending an event where few showed up, none of which are my close friends, versus attending one last bash with those who are likely to be closer friends, free from the prying eyes of reporters, but being judged by the wider Internet community as a homophobic hick. I might have just said “screw it”, borrowed my Dad’s car, and taken off to Birmingham for the weekend with my date. ---
**Author:** ![Grave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/71c47a/32.png) [@Grave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grave)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/291 "2010-04-07T19:30:17Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I appreciate the information and the perspective you’re giving us here. But your sources seem to have an axe to grind with her as far as her motives are concerned, and I disagree with that. And I also disagree with their view that she should have been grateful at the school’s nod and wink policy. While that policy is an improvement on the letter of the law I think she was entitled to ask to be given equal rights on paper, and I think the courts will agree with her. From what I can tell you agree with your sources on both these points. Even if she didn’t conduct her protest in the most effective manner, I don’t think that calls her character into question. She’s a high school senior. Actually, they have an axe to grind with her because she waited until the last moment to try and request something. No one (as far as I could tell) thought she should be happy with the ‘nod and wink’ or felt she was incorrect in wanting a silly policy changed. The path she chose to walk was full of brambles for others, as it were. So no issues with her motives (as you state them) yet serious issues with her actions. As for questioning her character, again I see this (and sadly, at that) as more of social view difference. I find her actions indictive of a particular personality, yet can see where others may not. High school senior is oft equated with adult and this plan of action did not exhibit the maturity I expect of an adult. > [@elmwood](#): > > That being said, if I was in the class of '10 of IAHS, and I had a choice of what prom to attend, well … I dunno Pretty much. Most of those students really don’t care what the “internet community” thinks of them, and well they don’t. The odds that the opinion of some poster on the SDMB (or any internet site) will ever directly affect them is effectively nil. These were kids on the cusp of adulthood who had one last great fling with their peers. That parents organized the soiree is less important than it may seem - I’d wager most thought less of personal rights and more of their child’s immediate happiness. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/292 "2010-04-07T19:35:32Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > I don’t think anyone’s completely blameless in this one, FWIW. Not worth anything, IMO. Someone who stands up against an unjust policy, even at an inconvenient time, is \*never \*to blame–the people who created or upheld said policy are. > [@Grave](#): > > a very \*\*benign \*\*informal **“don’t ask don’t tell” policy** Some would call that an oxymoron (emphasis added). > [@Grave](#): > > So she put a principal who is supportive of bending the rules in a rather untentable position. No, he put \*himself \*there. She didn’t make the bad rule, but he’s the one in charge of enforcing it. Tough shit. > [@Grave](#): > > While the staff at the high school might be understanding, the community is not. Many are of a religous view that sees homosexuality as a sin, so there won’t be a simple statement of change. I fail to see what this has to do with anything at a \*public \*school. > [@Bricker](#): > > So… in future years, if the school simply drops “prom” from its list of sponsored events, a similarly-situated student may be out of luck. > > Which is… unfortunate. I’m not sure what your point is here. Are you saying she should just shut up and put up, or are you simply commenting that it would suck if people’s inability to joint the current century deprived of many students of a popular event? > [@Gyrate](#): > > Ha ha! You’ve got _gay cooties_ on your _hand_ now! I hear that’s how you get the Hiv. From touching the gays. > [@Grave](#): > > Exactly, and while it won’t be her that faces the problem the legacy she is leaving for younger students is poor. And a legacy of turning a blind eye to intolerant hatred and disgust is preferable? > [@Grave](#): > > All races tend to be very vocally anti-homosexual I’d please like a cite for every current culture that shows them to be vocally against anything that isn’t a male-female pairing. > [@Grave](#): > > Even in California, the fabled land of acceptance, the hateful Prop 8 was accepted. California as a whole really isn’t all that liberal. It’s known for cities like San Francisco, but as you may be shocked to learn The Castro isn’t the state. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/293 "2010-04-07T19:41:40Z")
> [@Grave](#): > > Actually, they have an axe to grind with her because she waited until the last moment to try and request something. No one (as far as I could tell) thought she should be happy with the ‘nod and wink’ or felt she was incorrect in wanting a silly policy changed. The path she chose to walk was full of brambles for others, as it were. So no issues with her motives (as you state them) yet serious issues with her actions. If everyone’s in agreement that the policy was silly, they should have changed it. They should have changed it years ago. Then they could have had the prom and everyone could have come. > [@](#): > > As for questioning her character, again I see this (and sadly, at that) as more of social view difference. I find her actions indictive of a particular personality, yet can see where others may not. High school senior is oft equated with adult and this plan of action did not exhibit the maturity I expect of an adult. > [@](#): > > Pretty much. Most of those students really don’t care what the “internet community” thinks of them, and well they don’t. The odds that the opinion of some poster on the SDMB (or any internet site) will ever directly affect them is effectively nil. These were kids on the cusp of adulthood who had one last great fling with their peers. That parents organized the soiree is less important than it may seem - I’d wager most thought less of personal rights and more of their child’s immediate happiness. You don’t see a conflict here? The parents are immature enough to care about the happiness of their kids while not caring about leaving out the learning disabled kids as well as Constance. And yet Constance, still in high school, has to be mature enough to suck it up and pretend not to care that she’s being discriminated against? > [@](#): > > Ferret Herder, you missed my point. I will always be willing to fight for equality for all people. Their color, orientation, religion, cologne choice or whatever label one wants to put on them is not pertinent to me. As the Constitution states I hold that all people are created equal, and should be treated such. I merely intended to point out that the fight for sexual orientation rights is complex; more complex than most seem to understand. Look at the success of the various “Defense of Marriage” BS laws to see my point, please. Even in California, the fabled land of acceptance, the hateful Prop 8 was accepted. No, you’re willing to fight as long as it doesn’t inconvenience people you care about. If you really think this is a cause worth fighting for, what’s all this “sexual orientation is complex” stuff? Is it really all that complex to point out that people who don’t think that same sex couples shouldn’t have the same rights as hetero couples are bigoted? I guarantee you, there were many people back in the day saying that they weren’t hate filled but mixing of the races is just volatile and complicated and hard. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/294 "2010-04-07T19:43:48Z")
**Grave** , do you know how many students are in the graduating class? ---
**Author:** ![Grave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/71c47a/32.png) [@Grave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grave)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/295 "2010-04-07T20:09:16Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > If everyone’s in agreement that the policy was silly, they should have changed it. They should have changed it years ago. Then they could have had the prom and everyone could have come. I can only assume you have never lived in the south to say this - else is seems terribly naive. The general path is benign neglect then quiet deletion when it is reviewed. ‘Everyone’ here might be most of the faculty at the high school, but would be a tiny percentage of the community as a whole > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > You don’t see a conflict here? The parents are immature enough to care about the happiness of their kids while not caring about leaving out the learning disabled kids as well as Constance. And yet Constance, still in high school, has to be mature enough to suck it up and pretend not to care that she’s being discriminated against? Is it immature to place the desires of your family over the desires of strangers? Perhaps not enlightened but I do not see the conflict. Constance chose a course with a predictable outcome, why should she be sheltered from that? > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > No, you’re willing to fight as long as it doesn’t inconvenience people you care about. If you really think this is a cause worth fighting for, what’s all this “sexual orientation is complex” stuff? Is it really all that complex to point out that people who don’t think that same sex couples shouldn’t have the same rights as hetero couples are bigoted? I guarantee you, there were many people back in the day saying that they weren’t hate filled but mixing of the races is just volatile and complicated and hard. I wish that was the case, as I truly and deeply miss several of my family members. This is issue where it seems clear from a distance yet murky from the ground. Pointing out someone’s bigotry is useless in the sense of meaningful change. Fun in bars, I’ll grant that. > [@NinetyWt](#): > > …graduating class No ma’am, but I’ve asked and will soon. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/296 "2010-04-07T21:17:11Z")
> [@Grave](#): > > Pretty much. Most of those students really don’t care what the “internet community” thinks of them, and well they don’t. The odds that the opinion of some poster on the SDMB (or any internet site) will ever directly affect them is effectively nil. It may catch up with them in the future, though. [Their names and photos](http://www.flickr.com/photos/49081507@N02/) (warning: 'Bama bangs galore) are out there, not just on Flickr, but on various blogs. Parents looking out for the happiness of their children: if I was one of the parents, I don’t think I could have helped to organize an activity that involved the active shunning of a group of students. However, I also wouldn’t have forced my children to take a stand and attend the official unofficial country club prom. My children shouldn’t be forced to fight to uphold _my_ values. I want them to be happy, and I’d reluctantly wish them well as they went to the boondocks to party. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/297 "2010-04-07T22:57:52Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > It may catch up with them in the future, though. [Their names and photos](http://www.flickr.com/photos/49081507@N02/) (warning: 'Bama bangs galore) are out there, not just on Flickr, but on various blogs. When I graduated (2004), we were told over and over and over again that we better not have anything Google-able about us that was even vaguely questionable, because colleges (the competitive ones) will Google candidates. When one friend was getting interviewed for MIT, the interviewer brought up my friend’s blog (in a good way, my friend was building his own computer game or something and documenting it)-- friend had never sent such information along with his app, nor did any teachers mention it. It came up on a Google search, though. Eesh. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/298 "2010-04-07T23:13:18Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > **Grave** , do you know how many students are in the graduating class? Their website says there are 139 seniors. With an indicated graduation rate of 80%, that should end up being 111.2. **NinetyWt** , you made a post earlier that seemed to indicate you’re from Lafayette County; I did not know that. We’ve communicated before but I got the impression (or assumed) you moved there later in life. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Parker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/299 "2010-04-07T23:16:46Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > There are limits to the power of government to force social change. > > In this case, Ms. McMillen sought to require the school to let her attend prom with her female date. When the school refused, she filed suit. She did not, by the way, win on a claim that she had an Equal Protection or Due Process right to attend. The court that heard her claim said she intended to communicate a message by donning a tuxedo and attending with a female date, and that by canceling the prom, the school improperly restricted her First Amendment right to convey that message. > > But the court stopped short of ordering the school to have the prom, primarily because of the representations that parents would conduct an alternate event that was open to all. > > And apparently they did, but very few students attended, opting instead for yet a third party or parties. > > So… in future years, if the school simply drops “prom” from its list of sponsored events, a similarly-situated student may be out of luck. > > Which is… unfortunate. As elucidator would say, you’ve said a lot without really saying anything. You seem to imply that she should not have complained, because she should have anticipated that the school would just take its ball and go home. Is this the sentiment you would have expressed in Virginia in 1958, when the state decided that instead of integrating the schools it would just shut them down, and the white parents opened private schools? You blame the ones who wanted justice in the first place? Prom is certainly a good deal less important to a child’s life than a public school education. But it’s still deeply unjust to publicly forbid homosexual students from attending their high school prom together. And blaming those kids who fight that policy for the school deciding to cancel the prom is pretty shitty too. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/300 "2010-04-07T23:18:16Z")
> [@Grave](#): > > High school senior is oft equated with adult I don’t think many people, besides other high school students, equate high school seniors with “adult.” I mean, yes, some of them are 18, but very few of them resemble actual adults, maturity wise. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108.md?page=16)