# US school cancels prom to avoid lesbian student bringing a date **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 11, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108 "2010-03-11T15:28:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/421 "2010-04-09T15:34:24Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > I’m not seeing or knowing anything … just musing about human nature. I didn’t mean to say “it is this way”. I’m saying “it could be this way”. Don’t you think that the other kids interact with her based on their life experience with her, whether positively or negatively? They’ve probably known each other since before kindergarten. Oh, also I don’t think she’s done anything bad. True. It’s also human nature to dislike or hate what is different. There are lots of people historically who have alienated people for just those reasons. This could be happening here. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/422 "2010-04-09T15:55:21Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Yes. But I also have no trouble believing that for as long as she’s been openly lesbian (early high school perhaps?) she’s faced nothing but persecution in a mostly (sometimes fundamentalist) hardcore Christian high school. > > I don’t think that by simply being gay she’s made into this great person. I don’t even particularly care that she demanded a letter. But the way she’s being treated, both in terms of the prom and all the gay-bashing that was going on on Facebook (or was it Flickster or one of those other sites?), she’s being made into a martyr. > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > True. It’s also human nature to dislike or hate what is different. There are lots of people historically who have alienated people for just those reasons. This could be happening here. Right, I don’t disagree with any of this, it could certainly be possible. I reckon that none of us really know what’s going on in this case. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/423 "2010-04-09T16:06:54Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > We take your fun and crush it. Like a soda can. Oh no, your wrists are much too weak to crush a soda can. Well, physically, anyway. You could probably give a scathing review of its logo design. > [@Laudenum](#): > > :rolleyes: Fighting on a national stage for the political rights of their students (assuming that it is accepted that it is a right), is _not_ part of the job of a principal. They just run the school - crusades are optional. Who said he had to fight on a national stage? This \*became \*a national issue because he refused to do his job and ensure his students’ rights were upheld, because he’d rather continue to enforce an unfair policy. The principal, being the responsible adult in the situation, had the biggest responsibility to ensure that this whole mess was resolved well, instead of turning into a big clusterfuck. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/424 "2010-04-09T16:09:54Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Right, I don’t disagree with any of this, it could certainly be possible. I reckon that none of us really know what’s going on in this case. Well, we do know that she asked for a letter saying she and her girlfriend could attend the prom together and that this was denied, and that subsequently the official school prom was canceled. I just find it hard to believe that this just happened because they didn’t like her personality. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/425 "2010-04-09T16:10:16Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > big clusterfuck. Heh heh. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/426 "2010-04-09T17:34:50Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I think it’s pretty clear we’re not going to get a clear message from him. And I think it is pretty clear that you have already gotten one, but you don’t like it. Sorry, **Grave** , but you really cannot argue with a jerking knee. On some topics, and for a lot of Dopers, there is no such thing as nuance. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/427 "2010-04-09T17:36:48Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > And I think it is pretty clear that you have already gotten one, but you don’t like it. > > Sorry, **Grave** , but you really cannot argue with a jerking knee. On some topics, and for a lot of Dopers, there is no such thing as nuance. > > Regards, > Shodan Care to tell me what his clear message was? I’ve already stated what my guesses are, but he doesn’t want to confirm nor deny them. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/428 "2010-04-09T17:46:43Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/429 "2010-04-09T17:50:06Z")
There are facebook pages of the “real” prom, with pictures posted. Some of the pictures were of girls making out with girls. Because straight girls making out with each other = hot. Gay girls in tuxes = a sin upon all mankind. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/430 "2010-04-09T17:51:03Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > There are facebook pages of the “real” prom, with pictures posted. Some of the pictures were of girls making out with girls. > > Because straight girls making out with each other = hot. > > Gay girls in tuxes = a sin upon all mankind. Well, those were just girls playing around! Girls will be girls, you know! ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/431 "2010-04-09T18:42:36Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I just find it hard to believe that this just happened because they didn’t like her personality. I was speaking to what the other kids did - going to the ‘boondocks’ prom instead of the official one. I should have been more clear, sorry about that. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/432 "2010-04-09T19:52:44Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > And I think it is pretty clear that you have already gotten one, but you don’t like it. When someone _explicitly blows off_ a request to simplify and clarify their position, I’d say that’s a pretty strong argument that they haven’t got one. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/433 "2010-04-09T19:59:17Z")
All I’ve gotten from **Grave** is an attempt to try and defend the town, in various odd and contradictory ways. Like, he’s pointed out that the people in the town are progressive enough to allowed same sex couples at the prom in the past. He also says he’s all for civil rights, but is quick to point out that gay rights are not like other rights, and that across different races and religions, many people hate gay people. I can’t help but read that as, “Hey, you know, maybe they have a point, maybe giving gay people rights isn’t something we should be eager to do.” Plus, there’s a lot of sort of creepy stuff about Constance stirring up problems and bringing drama. Not because she was wrong but because she did it at the wrong time, and she should be more mature. No mention of the maturity levels of the adults who decided to go ahead and endorse the second “real” prom. ---
**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/434 "2010-04-09T22:50:33Z")
> [@Laudenum](#): > > Maybe he just wants to educate children, and didn’t sign up for being a political activist? > Yes, it would be nice everyone risked everything they had for people they don’t really know or like, and everyone pissed rainbows and shat puppies, but in the real world it’s ridiculous to condemn someone for not putting everything on the line for someone who they don’t really care about. > You can’t expect everyone to be a hero. Then stay away from children.. significantly my children. No.. you can’t get a pass when the worm turns your way. If you silently laugh.. smile or turn your head as an ADULT when wrong is done.. You’re gutless and you deserve no quarter. Many people didn’t sign up to be heroes.. including Johannes Klieman who helped Otto Frank hide his family. This sorry hand-wringing of .. I only wanted to educate.. sometimes their are times and occasions when circumstances are more important than “education”. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/435 "2010-04-09T23:02:38Z")
> [@Chicagojeff](#): > > Then stay away from children.. significantly my children. No.. you can’t get a pass when the worm turns your way. If you silently laugh.. smile or turn your head as an ADULT when wrong is done.. You’re gutless and you deserve no quarter. Many people didn’t sign up to be heroes.. including Johannes Klieman who helped Otto Frank hide his family. This sorry hand-wringing of .. I only wanted to educate.. sometimes their are times and occasions when circumstances are more important than “education”. Meh. I’ve attacked the people of that community for a while but I can’t say that I wouldn’t have acted similarly to the principal. No, I don’t think that his being a principal means that he has an obligation to fight to change policy that he doesn’t have control of. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/436 "2010-04-09T23:36:45Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Meh. I’ve attacked the people of that community for a while but I can’t say that I wouldn’t have acted similarly to the principal. No, I don’t think that his being a principal means that he has an obligation to fight to change policy that he doesn’t have control of. I think even as an administrator, he is above all else still an educator. And we aren’t just teaching children reading and writing, we are teaching them the fundamentals of society and citizenship. So yes, while it isn’t a principal’s job to teach a moral code, a principal most certainly should lead by example. Like I said before, this idiot is teaching the kids that it’s ok to overlook the rules, so long as you aren’t caught. Further, and bigger than that, I suppose, he’s also teaching an odd lesson about standing up for what you believe in. If he looked the other way all these years because he believes the policy is outdated and stupid, but when called out for it didn’t stand up for his beliefs. . . I dunno, that’s just not a good message to pass on to the kids. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/437 "2010-04-12T01:53:20Z")
Why some people think liberals are impractical, I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/438 "2010-04-12T15:30:04Z")
Today’s non-sequitur brought to you by **Bricker**. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/439 "2010-04-12T21:26:58Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > When someone _explicitly blows off_ a request to simplify and clarify their position, I’d say that’s a pretty strong argument that they haven’t got one. Not really - the request to “simply and clarify” the position was merely codespeak for “I don’t like your position”. For a lot of people, there are only two slots available for opinions on certain issues - [ol][li]100% compliance with the standard cliches, or[\*] crimethink. [/ol] **Grave** ’s response doesn’t fit into the first slot - he/she must therefore be forced into the second. [/li] > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Care to tell me what his clear message was? If you didn’t read it the first time, you aren’t going to read it the second either. Look, you don’t have to understand if you don’t want to. And you can’t be made to understand against your will. But, believe it or not, not everything about every situation can be explained with “four legs good, two legs bad”. Not all answers are simple. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/440 "2010-04-12T21:30:35Z")
**Shodan** , I honestly don’t know what **Grave** was trying to say, and it’s not because **Grave** didn’t “fit in.” **Grave** makes the point that he does agree that civil rights are important but also makes the point that gay rights aren’t quite the same. And I did think that whole, “Lots of races and religions hate gay people” thing was obnoxious–was he saying that gay people are less or more worthy of civil rights? And then there was that whole, “This is the rural South, it’s hard to change.” And lots of “it’s complex.” And that Constance should have tried to bring this up in advance. So is he saying that it’s hard to change so we shouldn’t be so hard on conservative types when they deny gays their rights? Or that Constance needed to do this at a better time? Or that gay rights aren’t quite as important as we’re making it out to be? What? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108.md?page=23)