# US school cancels prom to avoid lesbian student bringing a date **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 11, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108 "2010-03-11T15:28:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/461 "2010-04-14T07:32:07Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Okay. So, Shodan’s thing backfired, like I thought. It should be clear that his purpose was to see how biased the people in the thread were. I’d just like to point out that this was pretty much the point I was making several pages ago, too. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/462 "2010-04-14T12:32:40Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > The best time to fight injustice is always right now. So the time is right - are the circumstances right? Are you protesting to the right person? > [@](#): > > I’d say the person who enforces policy is also a valid person to include, especially when that person is more immediately accessable. Now, that person may then refer you to the people who set the policy, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever even discuss it with them, especially when the person doing the enforcing is already fairly high up the administrative chain. Who suggested that Constance should not discuss it with the principal? I didn’t, **Grave** didn’t. The principal **was** included. He/she then assured Constance that s/he would allow Constance to bring her girlfriend to the prom. The principal was not going to enforce the policy. Constance was not going to be deprived of any of the rights y’all are so upset about. > [@](#): > > So you think there can possibly be a \*valid \*reason to discriminate against an LGBT student? How did the principal discriminate against Constance? If Constance’s goal was to go to prom with her girlfriend, wearing a tuxedo, she already had that. What she apparently insisted on was something that the principal could not do - change the school board policy. IOW, the net effect was to embarrass the one person who was doing the most to accommodate her. The party responsible for setting school board policy is the school board. If Constance wanted to change the policy officially, why didn’t she go to them? > [@](#): > > How about, “U.S. School Cancels Prom in Attempt to Avoid Dealing with the Fallout from Refusing to Remove a Bigoted Policy”? This is a good example of something unfortunate that is going on - the tendency to misstate facts. The school did not cancel the prom. That is a misstatement of fact contained in the OP title. Like I said, it seems that a lot of folks made up their minds what they thought by the time they reached the end of the title. Which is too bad, because the title is misleading and inflammatory. It is also politically correct, and therefore does not seem to be considered in the same light that titles about, say, Planned Parenthood are. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/463 "2010-04-14T13:48:54Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Oh, and I wonder why my state capital was forced to integrate much longer ago. You mean integrated proms? I’m no expert on when they actually started having integrated proms here around Jackson, as I’ve only lived here since 1989. The only other data point I have is that when I graduated in a different town (back in 1977), proms were private affairs (not put on by the school) and there were two of them. If you mean school integration, I don’t know why Mississippi was behind Arkansas. Brown v. Board of Education came in 1954; the Little Rock Nine enrolled in 1957; my school was not desegregated until 1968. [Here](http://mshistory.k12.ms.us/articles/305/the-last-stand-of-massive-resistance-1970) is an article about the delay. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/464 "2010-04-14T14:00:42Z")
No one cares what you think, Shodan. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/465 "2010-04-14T14:06:05Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > If the goal is to change the policy, would you agree that there might be times and circumstances in which your chances of actually effecting the change are maximized, and others in which it would be ineffectual and/or counter-productive? Of course. > [@](#): > > Would you not agree, for instance, that efforts to change policy should be directed at those who set policy? Of course. But… here’s the problem. Rationalization. Some wit once observed that rationalization is more important to human beings than sex. “Think about it,” he said. “Have you ever gone a day without rationalizing?” In this case, and others like it, it’s important to understand if the calculus that leads you to conclude that today is one of those " ineffectual and/or counter-productive" days is genuine, or if the malaise arises from more selfish motives. I don’t say, definitively, what the right answer is – but I do say that when someone reaches the decision that they shouldn’t undergo great personal sacrifice in support of a principle, it’s fair to wonder if they have so concluded because the time truly isn’t right, or because they’re looking for a way out of undergoing that sacrifice. Not to be blasphemous, but even Jesus prayed, “If you can, take this cup from me.” ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/466 "2010-04-14T14:20:14Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > If you mean school integration, I don’t know why Mississippi was behind Arkansas. Brown v. Board of Education came in 1954; the Little Rock Nine enrolled in 1957; my school was not desegregated until 1968. The schools I went to in Kentucky were integrated in 1964, also well after the Little Rock Nine. Nice article, **NinetyWt**. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/467 "2010-04-14T18:14:39Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Do you ever go to the Mississippi picnic in NYC? My sister has lived in TriBeCa for, oh, about 30 years and she’s never been. I haven’t yet but I would like to definitely. I also wanted to add that one of the things I appreciate about having grown up in wide-open country spaces in MS is my love of nature, and also, being taught manners – not only by my older relatives but by the examples of many around me (other states engender these too I know). **90** , I’m getting the impression we’re close in age, etc. I’ll PM you to nail down if we’ve run across each other, or at least each other’s people. And I definitely will read that article later. > [@BigT](#): > > I have to admit that my pride in her depends on her intentions. I can’t be proud of someone doing the right thing if they do it for the wrong reasons. I’m not saying she did anything wrong, but pride takes a little more than that. At the very least, I would need selflessness. I guess what I meant about being proud of her is that, now that’s she’s in the spotlight, she isn’t shying away from being representative of even the cause that others may be thrusting upon her and she’s not running away from Itawamba County now that everything’s happened. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/468 "2010-04-14T20:33:43Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > No one cares what you think, Shodan. Let’s stick to the issues and not make this personal, please. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/469 "2010-04-14T20:40:39Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > O > But… here’s the problem. Rationalization. Some wit once observed that rationalization is more important to human beings than sex. “Think about it,” he said. “Have you ever gone a day without rationalizing?” > > In this case, and others like it, it’s important to understand if the calculus that leads you to conclude that today is one of those " ineffectual and/or counter-productive" days is genuine, or if the malaise arises from more selfish motives. I don’t say, definitively, what the right answer is – but I do say that when someone reaches the decision that they shouldn’t undergo great personal sacrifice in support of a principle, it’s fair to wonder if they have so concluded because the time truly isn’t right, or because they’re looking for a way out of undergoing that sacrifice. > > Not to be blasphemous, but even Jesus prayed, “If you can, take this cup from me.” Sure, but that cuts both ways. If it is legitimate to ask if the principal might be valuing his job more than a admirable commitment to gay rights, it can also be legitimate to ask if the lesbian involved might be subject equally to mixed motivations. Maybe Constance is motivated, at least in part, by a desire for truth, justice, and the American Way. Maybe she was also motivated, at least in part, by a desire to stir up trouble and thereby attract attention to herself. Teenagers do that sometimes. If that were the case, it might explain why she seemed to insist on the principal doing something he was not able to do - set school board policy. I guess what bothers me is the characterization that everyone on the one side is a saint, and everyone on the other is a devil. > [@Sherlock Holmes](#): > > It is a capital mistake to theorize in advance of the data. Insensibly, one begins to twist the facts to fit the theory, instead of vice versa. As I said, I think there is a fair bit of that going on here. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/470 "2010-04-14T22:19:16Z")
Yeah, it’s not Mississippi at all: [http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20100414/ts\_csm/294380](http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20100414/ts_csm/294380) ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/471 "2010-04-14T22:38:40Z")
Tylertown!? Heck, that’s practically Louisiana. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/472 "2010-04-14T22:45:31Z")
It’s funny to think that in the South there’s still racial segregation going on. Or was, until the judge fixed it. If indeed this was the only surviving case. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/473 "2010-04-14T22:48:21Z")
Well… not funny to me. Maybe as in gallows humor. It’s horrible that a few bigots embarrass the hell out of the rest of us. :mad: The area around Tylertown is very much behind the times (my second husband has family there). ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/474 "2010-04-14T22:50:58Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Well… not funny to me. Maybe as in gallows humor. It’s horrible that a few bigots embarrass the hell out of the rest of us. :mad: Funny as in Comedian from The Watchmen funny. > [@](#): > > The area around Tylertown is very much behind the times (my second husband has family there). It’s all making me very cynical. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/475 "2010-04-14T22:52:23Z")
I don’t know The Watchmen. Lots of things in this bad 'ol world make me cynical. That’s why I do my best to treat people decently no matter who it is or where I am. I wish everybody else would too. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/476 "2010-04-14T22:55:57Z")
You tend to find this stuff in these very rural places. The population of Walthall county is 15,156. The median family income is under $30k. It’s a backwater kind of place. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/477 "2010-04-14T23:00:17Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > I don’t know The Watchmen. _The Comedian aims a shotgun at a crowd of protesters._ **Nite Owl:** But the country’s disintegrating. What’s happened to America? What’s happened to the American dream? **The Comedian:** It came true. > [@](#): > > Lots of things in this bad 'ol world make me cynical. That’s why I do my best to treat people decently no matter who it is or where I am. I wish everybody else would too. I’m going to go watch the Boom-de-ah-da video on Youtube. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/478 "2010-04-15T07:12:30Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > This is a good example of something unfortunate that is going on - the tendency to misstate facts. The school did not cancel the prom. That is a misstatement of fact contained in the OP title. This is news to me. Everything I’ve read said the prom _WAS_ canceled. An alternative prom was created, and she attended that one. But, not known to her, there was another prom somewhere else. And even that part’s hazy, as she seems to have said something like: “I was told that they were going to the country club, so I assumed I wasn’t invited.” Not being explicitly invited is not quite the same as not knowing about it at all. At this point, I don’t know where to go to get the full story. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/479 "2010-04-15T16:29:03Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > If Constance’s goal was to go to prom with her girlfriend, wearing a tuxedo, she already had that. What she apparently insisted on was something that the principal could not do - change the school board policy. IOW, the net effect was to embarrass the one person who was doing the most to accommodate her. To quote back from the originally linked article: > [@](#): > > The ACLU said Miss McMillen approached school officials shortly before the memo went out because she knew same-sex dates had been banned in the past. The ACLU said district officials told Miss McMillen she and her girlfriend wouldn’t be allowed to arrive together, that she would not be allowed to wear a tuxedo, and that she and her girlfriend might be asked to leave if their presence made any other students “uncomfortable.” Here’s a quote from another article, specifically about the principal: > [@](#): > > McMillen said on “The Early Show” that, when she spoke with her school’s principal in December about her intentions to bring her girlfriend to the prom, he told her it wasn’t allowed. When she asked why, he told her it concerned the tickets for the event. > > She said, “He said that something about when the tickets were first started, that it was cheaper for people to come as a date, like just two friends than to come individually, so people would do that and they were just trying to prohibit that.” If you want to convince me that she even had any kind of sideways approval for this, I would like a cite from you that shows that she had a formal guarantee, in writing, that she and her girlfriend (a) would be allowed to attend prom together, (b) dressed in the formalwear of their choice, and (c) would not be asked to leave. Aren’t you one of the people on this board who’s adopted kids who aren’t white? What if your kids are in high school, the school has an official policy that white students are only allowed to attend with other white students, and one of your kids has a white SO? But the principal so \*generously \*says that even though your child isn’t part of the master race, they’ll look the other way if they want to rub their little subhuman hands all over some nice respectable white kid in public. You’re seriously telling me you’ll be just fine with that? > [@](#): > > The school did not cancel the prom. That is a misstatement of fact contained in the OP title. You’re dead wrong there, too. > [@](#): > > “Due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events, the Itawamba County School District has decided to not host a prom at Itawamba Agricultural High School this year,” school board members said in a statement. You know what it’s called when an event is scheduled, and then the organizers decide not to host it? Oh, yes, that’s right… _It’s been cancelled_. > [@Shodan](#): > > If it is legitimate to ask if the principal might be valuing his job more than a admirable commitment to gay rights, it can also be legitimate to ask if the lesbian involved might be subject equally to mixed motivations. What? No. “One of these things is not like the other,” as the old song goes. We’re looking at the actions of both: the actions of the principal and the school board, and the actions of the student. One is a group of people with jobs, jobs that involve \*upholding the fucking law \*and not discriminating against \*your students \*because you find them groady. The other is a minor, who’s attending a public school, which she’s required to do by law, and is attempting to secure the rights to which she is legally fucking entitled. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/480 "2010-04-15T17:03:39Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Aren’t you one of the people on this board who’s adopted kids who aren’t white? What if your kids are in high school, the school has an official policy that white students are only allowed to attend with other white students, and one of your kids has a white SO? But the principal so \*generously \*says that even though your child isn’t part of the master race, they’ll look the other way if they want to rub their little subhuman hands all over some nice respectable white kid in public. You’re seriously telling me you’ll be just fine with that? Haven’t you gotten the memo? It’s not like racism at all…because it’s not. Because it’s NOT. It’s complicated because we have to think about scissoring and dicks in butts and I know this has nothing to do with it, but did you know that every single race and religion hates homosexuals? Plus, this is the South. Oh yeah, go civil rights. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108.md?page=25)