# US school cancels prom to avoid lesbian student bringing a date **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 11, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108 "2010-03-11T15:28:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 25
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/481 "2010-04-16T00:44:57Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Haven’t you gotten the memo? It’s not like racism at all…because it’s not. Because it’s NOT. It’s complicated because we have to think about scissoring and dicks in butts and I know this has nothing to do with it, but did you know that every single race and religion hates homosexuals? Plus, this is the South. Oh yeah, go civil rights. Heh. Yeah. 20, 30, 40 years from now (I bet fewer, but I can sometimes be very optimistic), people will be looking back and seeing as many complications on this issue as we are seeing now for racism. It may seem more complicated now as it’s happening, but I bet that the people trying to give the racists the benefit of the doubt back in 1950 found the issue plenty complicated. Hindsight is always easy. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/482 "2010-04-16T00:50:10Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Haven’t you gotten the memo? It’s not like racism at all…because it’s not. Because it’s NOT. It’s complicated because we have to think about scissoring and dicks in butts and I know this has nothing to do with it, but did you know that every single race and religion hates homosexuals? Plus, this is the South. Oh yeah, go civil rights. Don’t forget to mention that people calling the school district out on this shit are just biased. Also, Constance is an attention whore. Of course, that invalidates the entire civil rights movement. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/483 "2010-04-16T01:03:47Z")
In my day, kids would simply dye their hair purple for attention. Declaring yourself lesbian in a conservative, Bible-belt town, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/484 "2010-04-19T19:51:31Z")
I wonder if \*\*Shodan \*\*is ever coming back. I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s just been too busy to respond, but he \*is \*online… ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/485 "2010-04-19T21:16:06Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I wonder if \*\*Shodan \*\*is ever coming back. I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s just been too busy to respond, but he \*is \*online… I’ve been wondering about **Grave** myself; for some reason since [he last posted](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12318959&postcount=374) that he was going to talk to the community at the school, I’ve been hearing wisps of “Dueling Banjos” in the background. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/486 "2010-04-19T23:45:16Z")
> [@descamisado](#): > > I’ve been wondering about **Grave** myself; for some reason since [he last posted](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12318959&postcount=374) that he was going to talk to the community at the school, I’ve been hearing wisps of “Dueling Banjos” in the background. You’ve all made it abundantly clear that no-one in this thread is allowed to have a dissenting opinion on the subject or suggest that maybe Constance didn’t go about getting the situation fixed in the most constructive way, and accusing anyone who’s not on board with you as being “Bigots” or “Rednecks” isn’t doing anything to encourage discussion on the topic. Are you _really_ surprised they’re not coming back? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/487 "2010-04-19T23:49:26Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > You’ve all made it abundantly clear that no-one in this thread is allowed to have a dissenting opinion on the subject or suggest that maybe Constance didn’t go about getting the situation fixed in the most constructive way, and accusing anyone who’s not on board with you as being “Bigots” or “Rednecks” isn’t doing anything to encourage discussion on the topic. > > Are you _really_ surprised they’re not coming back? :rolleyes: Since I haven’t called anyone a “bigot” or a “redneck” and haven’t disallowed anyone from having a dissenting opinion, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Just because I, and many others in this thread, didn’t just crumble and say “Oh, I guess you’re right,” when they did state their opinion doesn’t mean they’re not allowed to disagree. The choice of anyone to leave is up to them. _And, Mr. Thin-Skin, it was a joke._ ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/488 "2010-04-19T23:52:27Z")
Congratulations on exactly proving my point for me. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/489 "2010-04-19T23:53:51Z")
Double post ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/490 "2010-04-19T23:57:06Z")
I don’t think any specific posters have been called bigots simply for disagreeing. But I do get the sense that **Grave** was expressing opinions that were bigoted in arguing that one reason why this isn’t like fighting for civil rights on the basis of race is that a lot of people of all races/religions hate gay people. I can’t help but read that as, “Hey, everyone’s doing it, maybe this kind of hatred isn’t so bad.” And the defense of the towns people while saying that Constance in doing what she thought was right was maybe just being a drama queen really doesn’t sit right with me. I don’t know that it’s necessarily bigotry but it’s stuff that makes me think that some posters have missed the point, and definitely makes me feel uncomfortable. If you saw someone writing about how Rosa Parks didn’t have to put everyone out that day and she could have just moved over and saved her protest for a time when people weren’t tired/wanting to go home…well, wouldn’t you start to feel a little weird? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/491 "2010-04-19T23:59:14Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Congratulations on exactly proving my point for me. What point were you making that had anything to do with my post and how exactly did what I posted after prove anything you hoped to prove? And furthermore, if you have even understood the joke, you would have realized that I was actually giving **Grave** the benefit of the doubt as far as thinking him might have said something either positive or supportive of Constance at that meeting or at least not toeing the “party line,” and therefore, getting the Deliverance treatment. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/492 "2010-04-20T00:00:14Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > If you saw someone writing about how Rosa Parks didn’t have to put everyone out that day and she could have just moved over and saved her protest for a time when people weren’t tired/wanting to go home…well, wouldn’t you start to feel a little weird? No, not in the slightest. The thing is, there’s an element of forethought in Constance’s situation. Ms. Parks just decided “No, I’m not moving” and it went from there. Constance- at least from what I’ve read- put considerable effort into her actions, and should likely have known full well what was going to happen. That, IMHO, is a totally different kettle of fish to a black woman in The South deciding she’s had a long day, is tired, and doesn’t really feel like giving up her seat. > [@descamisado](#): > > What point were you making that had anything to do with my post and how exactly did what I posted after prove anything you hoped to prove? Well, you made said “Oh no, I’m not being mean to anyone!” then made a redneck joke and basically said “How dare you not agree with me!” vis a vis said joke’s humour. Which is basically how this entire thread has played out- “Anyone who doesn’t think Constance is awesome and 100% right in every single way is a redneck bigot. Where did all the people who were providing an alternative viewpoint go?” ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/493 "2010-04-20T00:06:17Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > No, not in the slightest. > > The thing is, there’s an element of forethought in Constance’s situation. Ms. Parks just decided “No, I’m not moving” and it went from there. Constance- at least from what I’ve read- put considerable effort into her actions, and should likely have known full well what was going to happen. That, IMHO, is a totally different kettle of fish to a black woman in The South deciding she’s had a long day, is tired, and doesn’t really feel like giving up her seat. No, she didn’t. You need to go read some history if you don’t think Ms. Parks was carefully chosen to make this stand and, at the time of her resistance, was secretary of the Montgomery chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP). You really think this happened by chance? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/494 "2010-04-20T01:07:07Z")
> [@descamisado](#): > > No, she didn’t. You need to go read some history if you don’t think Ms. Parks was carefully chosen to make this stand and, at the time of her resistance, was secretary of the Montgomery chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP). You really think this happened by chance? Right. Both of these women were pissed off at their own personal situations but also at the larger situation that they were in. If Constance was trying to make a statement on a much larger level isn’t that a good thing? ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/495 "2010-04-20T01:23:43Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Right. Both of these women were pissed off at their own personal situations but also at the larger situation that they were in. If Constance was trying to make a statement on a much larger level isn’t that a good thing? The point that a couple of people (including myself, **Shodan** , and **Grave** ) have been making is that there’s a time and a place to agitate for societal change, and your school formal isn’t one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/496 "2010-04-20T01:26:43Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > The point that a couple of people (including myself, **Shodan** , and **Grave** ) have been making is that there’s a time and a place to agitate for societal change, and your school formal isn’t one of them. Why? If the answer is that it’s going to wreck people’s good times, do you really think having a fun time at the prom is more important than making sure that everyone is allowed access regardless of race or sexual orientation? ETA: And **Grave** didn’t make that point. **Grave** said that if she really felt that way she should have been working for change months in advance. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/497 "2010-04-20T01:35:08Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > The point that a couple of people (including myself, **Shodan** , and **Grave** ) have been making is that there’s a time and a place to agitate for societal change, and your school formal isn’t one of them. Who picks the time and place (and method)? The people who want change or the people who see nothing wrong with the status quo? Furthermore, if it’s in the environs of the school prom that the discrimination is taking place (possible wink-wink permission aside), isn’t the event and venue the place to bring it up? She did go to the principal beforehand because “wink-wink” is just that – wink-wink until someone decides not to. It was the principal and the school district who decided to overreact and cancel the entire event, so they wouldn’t have to deal with injustice and de facto discrimination. I’m on record as saying I’m not sure how much planning she put into this, but I’ll also go on record as saying, based on the fact that she was also out front in support of a cross-dressing teen who’d been drummed out of school in February, that she’d put _at least_ some thought into it. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/498 "2010-04-20T01:39:38Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Why? If the answer is that it’s going to wreck people’s good times, do you really think having a fun time at the prom is more important than making sure that everyone is allowed access regardless of race or sexual orientation? Leaving the “race” issue out of it, If I say “Yes”, what sort of nasty names am I likely to be called? Seriously though, I think the right of the other students to enjoy their formal without being the subject of intense media scrutiny outweigh’s Constance’s right to agitate for change to an unfortunate policy at said event. Personally, I think she should be allowed to go wearing a tux with a same-sex partner, and from the sounds of it, she _was_ allowed to go wearing a tux with a same-sex partner. But she wanted to have it all in writing and generally create a huge song and dance about it, and subsequently started affecting other people who previously had nothing to do with the policy and may not have cared one way or the other about her sexual orientation. Like I said, there’s a time and a place, and the time to ask for formal changes to the formal rules isn’t a week prior to the event with the full knowledge that it’s not going to happen and you can go ahead and unleash the media storm you’ve prepared for that eventuality. > [@](#): > > ETA: And **Grave** didn’t make that point. **Grave** said that if she really felt that way she should have been working for change months in advance. Which is what I’m saying. I agree with **Grave**. If she wanted a policy changed, the time to start agitating for it was months ago when she became aware of it, not a week before the formal, knowing full well that it would create a media frenzy. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/499 "2010-04-20T01:59:04Z")
Then I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree. I think that having a good time takes second place to standing up against a bigoted and discriminatory policy. And if I were at said prom, there’s no way I’d have a good time knowing the kind of people who’d be there. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/500 "2010-04-20T04:18:30Z")
I love it when people whine about how it’s wrong to express your opinion as to the wrongness of someone else’s opinion. They came onto a discussion board, spouted some stuff that most of us disagreed with and we attacked their arguments. I really don’t know what else we were supposed to do. What if a member of the Aryan Brotherhood came into the thread? Are we supposed to “respect” _his_ opinion, too? No. There’s nothing sacred about someone’s opinion. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108.md?page=24) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108.md?page=26)