# US school cancels prom to avoid lesbian student bringing a date **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 11, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108 "2010-03-11T15:28:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2010, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/101 "2010-03-19T22:55:05Z")
Update. McMillen went on Ellen DeGeneres’s show to talk about the whole thing, and Ellen surprised her with [a scholarship check for $30,000](http://www.tonic.com/article/tonic-ellen-degeneres-getting-results-constance-mcmillen/) raised by contributors and readers of the website Tonic (which is also working on [throwing her a prom](http://www.tonic.com/article/lets-throw-constance-mcmillen-the-prom-she-deserves/)). ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/102 "2010-03-20T00:25:21Z")
Saw that on Fark. What a pleasant silver lining. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MN\_Maenad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@MN\_Maenad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MN_Maenad)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/103 "2010-03-20T00:57:39Z")
Dan Savage’s [column](http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=3627249&hpr) this week has contact info for the Superintendent and Principal, and has launched a “letter-writing” campaign. Pardon me while I send a couple emails… ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/104 "2010-03-20T01:01:24Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > Update. > McMillen went on Ellen DeGeneres’s show to talk about the whole thing, and Ellen surprised her with [a scholarship check for $30,000](http://www.tonic.com/article/tonic-ellen-degeneres-getting-results-constance-mcmillen/) raised by contributors and readers of the website Tonic (which is also working on [throwing her a prom](http://www.tonic.com/article/lets-throw-constance-mcmillen-the-prom-she-deserves/)). Good gods… when did I turn into such a… _girl_? I’m getting all misty eyed and girly over here. This really chokes me up, and I do not get choked up. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/105 "2010-03-20T09:25:19Z")
Maybe it’s just me. but the school district newsletter is pretty damn funny. It’s called, [Firm, Fair and Consistent](http://www.parent-institute.com/nl/newsletter.php?X02451659-7500-FFC1). The link is to the March 2010 edistion, which says nothing at all about the prom. But the articles include: _Are Your Penalties Out of Date?_, _Natural Consequences Teach Valuable Lessons_, _Conquer Your Child’s ‘Forgetfulness’_, _Don’t Give Up on Discipline_, and _Discipline Stepchild With Calm Authority_. There is another Article called, _Avoid Arguments by Understanding_, which suggests which suggests listening to what your child says when they want to disobey, before making them obey. And finally, a story that says your child will be better off with exercise, enough sleep, and a healthy diet, [between discipline sessions]. I hope they can get in some course work between the punishments. FYI. here is the [district home page](http://www.itawambacountyschools.com/). ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/106 "2010-03-20T09:46:26Z")
Doesn’t this thread basically qualify as RO by SDMB standards? I doubt anyone here is going to be silly enough to say “Well it _is_ her fault for getting the formal cancelled and making a fuss about it is only going to make things worse”, even if that’s their honest opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/107 "2010-03-20T09:55:01Z")
Is that your honest opinion? I don’t understand what point you’re trying to make. OTOH, often enough my own posts have no real point either. But I do believe unjust discrimination should be opposed when and where it is found. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/108 "2010-03-20T10:48:38Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Is that your honest opinion? I don’t understand what point you’re trying to make. OTOH, often enough my own posts have no real point either. > > But I do believe unjust discrimination should be opposed when and where it is found. I have no opinion on this topic but I do believe there are valid arguments from both points of view, but there’s no way anything except “How dare the school do this!” is going to be regarded as an “acceptable” opinion on the SDMB. It was more an observation that lots of people in this thread are falling over themselves to be super-tolerant and accepting of one minority, but not super-tolerant and accepting of an alternative view on the same issue, that’s all. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/109 "2010-03-20T11:18:08Z")
What is a valid argument to refuse to allow two girls to attend a dance together? ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/110 "2010-03-20T11:26:33Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > What is a valid argument to refuse to allow two girls to attend a dance together? Purely speaking in a “Devil’s Advocate” capacity, it could be argued that two girls known to be a lesbian couple attending a formal together is offensive to the local community standards, perhaps from a religious or moral standpoint. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/111 "2010-03-20T11:37:45Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Wait, prom is like the practical for the sex-education class, isn’t it? In Mississippi? They wait that long? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/112 "2010-03-20T11:51:29Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Purely speaking in a “Devil’s Advocate” capacity, it could be argued that two girls known to be a lesbian couple attending a formal together is offensive to the local community standards, perhaps from a religious or moral standpoint. I said a _valid_ argument. I’m quite sure there are communities where inter-racial dating is offensive as well. School systems, or at least publlicly funded ones, should not be allow to perpetuate such disciminatory practices. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/113 "2010-03-20T11:55:25Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I said a _valid_ argument. I’m quite sure there are communities where inter-racial dating is offensive as well. School systems, or at least publlicly funded ones, should not be allow to perpetuate such disciminatory practices. It _is_ a valid argument from the point of view of the local community, many of whom probably feel that one or two people shouldn’t be allowed to wreck everyone else’s good time. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/114 "2010-03-20T12:23:24Z")
This isn’t about gay marriage, or gay sex. This is about two girls going to a party together, and dancing, with one of them wearing a pants suit. People who object to such a minor thing would be the ones wrecking the good time. I hope there will be more coverage of how this all plays out. I know there have been offers to fund an inclusive off-campus prom. And I have no doubt that some local fundie group or church will also offer space for a prom where they keep teh gays out. I would like to find out what kind of attendance competing proms will get. That’s a story I would like to read, along with what role the parents play in the decision of which prom to attend. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2010, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/115 "2010-03-20T14:05:22Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > It _is_ a valid argument from the point of view of the local community, many of whom probably feel that one or two people shouldn’t be allowed to wreck everyone else’s good time. You’re right. One or two people exercising their rights in a way others find offensive without trammelling anyone else’s similar rights is grounds to deprive them of such rights. Your resignation from SDMB membership is therefore accepted. You may leave now; have a nice life. And no, I’m not serious about expecting you to leave – I’m just seeking to skewer by analogy the flaw in your argument. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/116 "2010-03-21T00:41:39Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > In Mississippi? They wait that long? … > [@I think I hate my mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-hate-my-mom/533133/6): > > Hate is tiresome. No kidding. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/117 "2010-03-21T01:38:26Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > You’re right. One or two people exercising their rights in a way others find offensive without trammelling anyone else’s similar rights is grounds to deprive them of such rights. That’d make an excellent GD topic, but it’s not one that’s going to be productively addressed here. > [@](#): > > Your resignation from SDMB membership is therefore accepted. You may leave now; have a nice life. > > And no, I’m not serious about expecting you to leave – I’m just seeking to skewer by analogy the flaw in your argument. Congratulations on perfectly proving my point that dissenting opinions are not welcome on the SDMB. I hate to think what you’d say if I actually _did_ think it was entirely the girl’s fault and they should apologise to the rest of the school community for ruining their formal (and let me reiterate that’s not my opinion on the subject)- I’d be willing to bet it wouldn’t be “Well, I respect your opinion and see where you’re coming from, and isn’t it great that we can have such a wide range of opinions here?”. My point is that the SDMB isn’t nearly as tolerant as people like to pretend it is, and I hate to think how much interesting discussion _that_ stifles because of people not wanting to get flamed or piled on or whatever. Actually, that would also be an interesting GD topic, now I think about it… ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/118 "2010-03-21T02:01:25Z")
I saw this on Yahoo! News and what upset me were the comments. A flood of people blaming the girls. “Those stupid girls, ruining the prom for the rest of the kids.” It really makes my blood boil. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/119 "2010-03-21T02:49:40Z")
In one sense, you could say it was her fault. She shouldn’t have asked, she should just have done it. It’s unlikely she would have been barred at the door. Her mistake, though, is one most people would make, thinking it might be against the rules because the rules apparently didn’t imagine the question. She should have assumed that, since the published rules didn’t bar it, it was ok to do. But it’s certainly not her fault that the district canceled the whole prom. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108/120 "2010-03-21T04:27:49Z")
But the published rule did bar it: the rules specifically said that couples must be of the opposite sex. We don’t know what would have happened if the two young ladies would have shown up together. For every person who supports the school, there is one here who supports what she did. This could have happened anywhere in the country, and it sickens me to read what some of you are writing about Mississippi. Take a quick look at the injustices in your own state and then get back to me on it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/us-school-cancels-prom-to-avoid-lesbian-student-bringing-a-date/532108.md?page=7)