# USA Opening Ceremony outfits **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [January 23, 2014, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534 "2014-01-23T16:42:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/1 "2014-01-23T16:42:57Z")
[These things](http://www.nj.com/olympics/index.ssf/2014/01/winter_olympics_2014_team_usas_opening_ceremony_outfits_are_well_ugly.html) are fugly! Why do we have to lead the world in ugly clothing every Olympiad? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/2 "2014-01-23T16:44:49Z")
I had forgotten how much I despise the Olympics today, thanks for the reminder. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/3 "2014-01-23T16:49:12Z")
With everyone laughing, it will make it easier when the USA hype doesn’t match the actual medal tally. (_ **Ouch!** _) Everyone will blame the bad mojo from the opening ceremony. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/4 "2014-01-23T17:01:20Z")
Ohmygiddyaunt, those are HILARIOUS :D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/5 "2014-01-23T18:09:22Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > [These things](http://www.nj.com/olympics/index.ssf/2014/01/winter_olympics_2014_team_usas_opening_ceremony_outfits_are_well_ugly.html) are fugly! > > Why do we have to lead the world in ugly clothing every Olympiad? “No. I’m not a homeless athlete, why do you ask?” ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/6 "2014-01-23T20:03:30Z")
Maybe they should call it the Uglympiad. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/7 "2014-01-23T20:29:47Z")
I love the tweet quoted after the article: “You made the us Olympic team! Now you get to wear Grandma’s cardigan & George Costanza’s sweatpants.” They don’t hold a candle to the Norwegian Curling team’s [uniforms](http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/olympics/winter-olympics-2014-norway-curling-team-unveils-muchawaited-outfits-for-sochi-9077287.html). ---
**Author:** ![Terr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/8 "2014-01-23T20:37:38Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > I love the tweet quoted after the article: “You made the us Olympic team! Now you get to wear Grandma’s cardigan & George Costanza’s sweatpants.” > > They don’t hold a candle to the Norwegian Curling team’s [uniforms](http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/olympics/winter-olympics-2014-norway-curling-team-unveils-muchawaited-outfits-for-sochi-9077287.html). You really should have warned on this link. Like “squint when you look at the picture or you may go color-blind temporarily”. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/9 "2014-01-23T20:46:37Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > You really should have warned on this link. Like “squint when you look at the picture or you may go color-blind temporarily”. No, the color-blind person is the one who designed those uniforms :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2014, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/10 "2014-01-23T20:47:31Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > No, the color-blind person is the one who designed those uniforms :dubious: Most likely he had a checkered past. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/11 "2014-01-24T00:40:01Z")
Mind you, the Norwegian curlers’ outfit ([and there’s a thread up about it already](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=713801)) is the actual \*competition \*gear. So it clearly and boldly identifies the team on the ice and I’m sure the pants are extremely comfortably cut for the rather uncomfortable-looking position the thrower has to assume. Team USA’s opening-parade get-up, OTOH, looks like they remembered just last week that they needed to wear some sort of distinctive outfit for the ceremonies. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/12 "2014-01-24T01:13:40Z")
It looks like they’re on their way to an Ugly Patriotic-Sweater Party. And you can have your very own for a mere six hundred Benjamins! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/13 "2014-01-24T03:04:45Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > Mind you, the Norwegian curlers’ outfit ([and there’s a thread up about it already](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=713801)) is the actual \*competition \*gear. So it clearly and boldly identifies the team on the ice and I’m sure the pants are extremely comfortably cut for the rather uncomfortable-looking position the thrower has to assume. It’s a bit of a stretch, but not too bad. I’ve never done that thing some curlers do where they turn their front foot sideways, though. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > It looks like they’re on their way to an Ugly Patriotic-Sweater Party. And you can have your very own for a mere six hundred Benjamins! I really, _really_ hope you meant six hundred dollars, or six Benjamins. It occurs to me that the basic way we’re going about this is all wrong. Runway fashions from top designers always look ridiculous; we shouldn’t be surprised when their Olympic outfits turn out the same way. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/14 "2014-01-24T05:38:15Z")
[Here’s a big group shot](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2544736/Stars-stripes-homegrown-wool-Ralph-Lauren-unveils-patriotic-American-uniforms-Sochi-opening-ceremony.html)! Holy fuck that’s ugly! They look like they went to an auction of John Houseman’s estate and bought a box of flag-print cardigans he owned and then some asshole plastered them all with oversize bumper stickers. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/15 "2014-01-24T06:32:56Z")
Clearly the Russian ban on homosexuality is already evident in the dearth of gay Olympic clothing designers. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/16 "2014-01-24T06:51:36Z")
Yes, I meant 6 Bens. Sorry. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/17 "2014-01-24T12:31:23Z")
> [@susan](#): > > Clearly the Russian ban on homosexuality is already evident in the dearth of gay Olympic clothing designers. Don’t worry, the [Germans](http://ftw.usatoday.com/2013/10/german-olympians-will-wear-rainbow-colored-uniforms-in-sochi/) are making up for it. ---
**Author:** ![fanganga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fanganga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fanganga)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/18 "2014-01-24T12:50:01Z")
And they say athletic teams don’t do hazing anymore… ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/19 "2014-01-25T01:34:37Z")
Because of the threat of terrorism, they’re warning team members not to wear their costumes out in public. I’m sure no arms has to be twisted… ---
**Author:** ![citizenzen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a8b319/32.png) [@citizenzen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/citizenzen)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2014, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534/20 "2014-01-25T01:49:33Z")
Oh joy. I get to be the first dissenting voice in this hate-fest. I like the patchwork jacket and the interplay of color and shape. It feels folksy, homey, fun, and whimsical. I especially love that it’s contrasted with a plain white pant. I’ll take this over some modern, swooshie design any day. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/usa-opening-ceremony-outfits/679534.md?page=2)