# Use A Fucking Condom!!!!!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [May 17, 2002, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517 "2002-05-17T09:59:41Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/1 "2002-05-17T09:59:41Z")
A few days back, I was hanging out with my friend Sasha, and she made some comment about how “Oh, if you didn’t have to wear a condom you know you wouldn’t,” and I got kind of offended. I didn’t get into it, because my ex-girlfriend was there at the time, and we’d only talked about sex once. She said she wanted to wait till she could save some money to get some type of birth control that was easy to hide from her parents, and I told her I was planning on wearing a condom. She said “That too.” I let it go, did some soul searching to see if I was really ready (I’m still a virgin), and never pressed it. She dumped me a month later. The thing is, until I’m ready to support a kid, I don’t care what you’re doing, I’m using a damn condom. And here’s why…
A lot of my friends of the female persuasion have had some scares before. One of them is having her first right now, and it really bothers me. Why? Because she boasts every now and again that her and her boyfriend never use a condom. She fucking works at the student services office folding condoms all day in little paper packets with information on why one should wear a condom. She hands them out to people every day. She informs people of the benefits of condoms, every day. She rents out tapes and sets up classes for people to learn how to use condoms properly. Yet, she doesn’t use them herself. I guess it would alright if at least one week would go by where she didn’t fuck up her birth control at least twice, but she’s very irresponsible about that as well, and now she may have really fucked herself over.
What the fuck is wrong with people? No birth control is one hundered percent effective. Shit, even vasectomies aren’t always effective. But using a combination of a condom and birth control is near 99%, and I’m pretty damn sure that one percent inneffective situation had a lot to do with user error on one or both parties behalf. She knows this better than anyone, but she still takes the risk, and it may have bitten her on the ass. I’m pretty damn sure there’s a lot of people out there who don’t use condoms, and you know you should, so what’s the deal? Unless you’re ready to raise a kid, or willing to go through the trama of an abortion, you should be more responsible. The only defense I’ve ever heard as to why people don’t wear condoms is “It just feels better without one.” Well, I bet it feels a lot better not being 21, single, and pregnant. If cuming inside a woman without a condom is that damn important to you, find a woman who likes to give head and do it that way. Otherwise, wrap it up. I don’t know how the sensation feels for women, but please, you’re the ones in control, make your man put on a jimmy hat. If he gets pissed, tell him tough shit! If he leaves you because you make him wear a condom, take it as a sign that if you got pregnant, he’s not gonna stick around, and say good ridance. But in the meantime, you know the risks involved (aside from pregnancy, there’s the whole genitalia turning green and falling off thing), PLEASE, just use a fucking condom!
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### Author:  [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/2 "2002-05-17T10:21:22Z")
I use condoms all the time. I blow them up like balloons and draw little happy faces on them with a felt-tip marker, and then leave them on people’s doorsteps.
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### Author:  [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/3 "2002-05-17T12:08:31Z")
Good Lord. My SO actually LIKES using them. So do I. The extra backup to the pill is nice, though there’s no other reason for us to worry. It’s a lot easier to relax and enjoy the proceedings without that little voice saying, “What if…?” considering the odds against anything happening are probably about 99.9999999999999999999999999 against.
Anybody would would voluntarily occasionally not use birth control and go through repeated pregnancy scares maybe ought to rethink this whole “having sex” idea. It’s called responsibility, people.
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/4 "2002-05-17T12:15:59Z")
Let me put it this way. If I were conceivably ever in a situation where I was fucking someone without a condom, I would be so nervous and paranoid that I think I would lose the erection. And that’s the end of _that._
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### Author:  [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/5 "2002-05-17T12:35:12Z")
Hey, I betcha I can scare some people straight…
Young woman, her kids go to the same Day Care that Kate goes to…
Age: 21
Marital Status: Unmarried
Pregnancies to term: 4
Sets of twins: 2
Total Children at 21: 6
Good God Almighty. I can understand one accident or mistake (such things happen) but 4? And to have 2 of them end up being twins?
It’s almost gotten funny. If she didn’t look so tired all the time and I didn’t know she worked part time at McDonalds.
Poor kid.
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### Author:  [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/6 "2002-05-17T12:44:10Z")
There is a little 12 year old girl in my kids school system that is pregnant. It scares the crap out of me. I don’t want my kids to end up like that. Believe it or not, I already had to explain birth control to my 9 year old, when he was asking about this girl. I’m not quite ready for that, but if my son is asking, he’s ready to hear the answer.
I have a hard time dealing with stupidity.
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### Author:  [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/7 "2002-05-17T13:01:27Z")
I’ve posted this in another thread, but a woman who used to work with me has a 12 year old son who came home from the 6th grade in Sept. saying he didn’t want to be a virgin anymore, and by the way mom, what’s a virgin? Seems the other boys in his class were teasing him about being a virgin, and picking on him because he wasn’t anybody’s daddy yet. Apparently 3 boys in his class (12 year olds) are fathers already…and they are very proud of it.
Sometimes I get so scared for the future of this country.
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### Author:  [@sirjamesp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirjamesp)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/8 "2002-05-17T13:25:03Z")
I never wear a johnny with my girlfriend. I hate the buggers - they’re a right faff, kill the sensation and just generally put the brakes on proper crazy-monkey-sex.
But then, I guess I’m just an irresponsible risk-taker. I even do things like driving, eating fatty foods, drinking and playing football. Silly me.
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### Author:  [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/9 "2002-05-17T13:51:12Z")
Yes that’s right **sirjamesp** , because taking risks with your own health is the same as taking the risk of bringing another life into this world, for which you will be (at the very least) legally responsible for for the next 18 years.
:rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/10 "2002-05-17T13:57:28Z")
I read the subject line and immediately thought “A **fucking** condom? Are there other kinds as well?”
But yes, **EER** , your friend’s an idiot.
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/11 "2002-05-17T13:59:33Z")
unroll the condom fully and carefully slip both hands inside it (palms together), then gently ease it over your head so that it just covers your nose and ears, then carefully slip your hands out and press them against your cheeks to keep the rubber secured in place. Take rapid, deep breaths in though your mouth and expel them through your nose and the condom will inflate to a huge size; see if you can burst it (it’s harder than it sounds).
That’s the best use I’ve found for them.
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### Author:  [@sirjamesp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirjamesp)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/12 "2002-05-17T14:08:04Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Francesca \*
> Yes that’s right **sirjamesp** , because taking risks with your own health is the same as taking the risk of bringing another life into this world, for which you will be (at the very least) legally responsible for for the next 18 years.
>
> :rolleyes:
Actually, taking risks with my health is a lot worse, since it can kill me. Having a kid won’t.
You roll those eyes, sister.
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### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/13 "2002-05-17T14:10:12Z")
I’m _married_ and I use condoms. Other forms of birthcontrol have… _unfortunate_… effects on my wife. In the 12 years we’ve been together, we have _one_ child. Concieved the one time we didn’t use a condom.
They work well, when used correctly, and haven’t even _begun_ to put a damper on our love life, thankyouverymuch. 😃
Condoms: Cheap, reliable, and portable.
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### Author:  [@LolaBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaBaby)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/14 "2002-05-17T14:12:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \*
> \*\*I use condoms all the time. I blow them up like balloons and draw little happy faces on them with a felt-tip marker, and then leave them on people’s doorsteps. \*\*
So _you’re_ the one that’s been leaving those Mr. Happys on my doorstep! :eek:
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### Author:  [@Zanshin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zanshin)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/15 "2002-05-17T14:26:17Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by sirjamesp \*
> \*\*Actually, taking risks with my health is a lot worse, since it can kill me. Having a kid won’t.
>
> You roll those eyes, sister. \*\*
Are you fucking KIDDING me? Please tell me that was a lame attempt at humor or something. 'Cause if it wasn’t, then I sincerely hope your girlfriend reads this thread and sees what an insensitive prick you are.
So having a kid won’t kill you, fine. Are you financially able and willing to support a child? Will you be a good and supportive parent to that child? Will you be able to give that child the life he or she deserves and needs?
And what about your girlfriend? (Seeing as she’s the one who’d be HAVING the kid.) Is she ready for a child? Is she ready to support it as well? Does she want children? Does she want children with YOU?
If the answer any of the above questions is ‘NO’, then you have no fuckin’ business going in barebacked. I sincerely hope you and your girlfriend are using other forms of birth control, because if you’re not, you’re inflicting risk on your girlfriend and a potential unborn child. This ain’t just about you and your egotism, pal.
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/16 "2002-05-17T14:43:45Z")
Yeah, his girlfriend probably doesn’t know he’s not using one :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/17 "2002-05-17T14:45:36Z")
Personally, I hate 'em; couldn’t tell you how happy I was when I no longer needed to use them.
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### Author:  [@sirjamesp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirjamesp)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/18 "2002-05-17T14:49:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Zanshin \*
> Are you fucking KIDDING me?
Nope.
> [@](#):
>
> Please tell me that was a lame attempt at humor or something. 'Cause if it wasn’t, then I sincerely hope your girlfriend reads this thread and sees what an insensitive prick you are.
Or what an _over_sensitive prick you are.
> [@](#):
>
> So having a kid won’t kill you, fine. Are you financially able and willing to support a child?
Yes.
> [@](#):
>
> Will you be a good and supportive parent to that child?
Yes.
> [@](#):
>
> Will you be able to give that child the life he or she deserves and needs?
Yes.
> [@](#):
>
> And what about your girlfriend? (Seeing as she’s the one who’d be HAVING the kid.) Is she ready for a child? Is she ready to support it as well? Does she want children? Does she want children with YOU?
What? Do you think she has no say in the matter? You think I “turn around, touch the ground, bagsy no johnny” and she just accepts it? Or do you think that just maybe she has some small bearing on the decision? She is quite capable of making her own mind up, you know.
> [@](#):
>
> If the answer any of the above questions is ‘NO’, then you have no fuckin’ business going in barebacked. I sincerely hope you and your girlfriend are using other forms of birth control, because if you’re not, you’re inflicting risk on your girlfriend and a potential unborn child. This ain’t just about you and your egotism, pal.
What do you think, oh wise one? We just luck out every time?
Jeez Louise, I’ve never read such condescending crap in all my life.
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### Author:  [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/19 "2002-05-17T15:09:02Z")
Well, I sure wish **I** had used a condom. I slept with **sirjamesp’s** girlfriend and now it burns when I pee.
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### Author:  [@Zanshin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zanshin)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2002, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/use-a-fucking-condom/109517/20 "2002-05-17T15:10:21Z")
Condescending? Maybe. But from your first post (and followup), you sure didn’t make it sound like you gave much of a shit about your girlfriend and potential child. I’m glad you do.
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