# Useless consumer products **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 11, 2012, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139 "2012-08-11T01:25:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/61 "2012-08-15T13:14:50Z")
I can assure you that the original way was better because you didn’t _need_ to focus where your keys are - they’re in the ignition! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/62 "2012-08-15T13:33:38Z")
This shouldn’t require too much thought: keyless ignition is simply a way for the car company to make more money off you. If I lose … or even let’s just say I needed [del]a second[/del] an additional key to my old '78 Corolla, I could go to the hardware store and have one made for like $5. Then came proprietary keys. Then came chip-implanted keys. Now, if I bought a car like the 2012 Sentra I rented a couple of weeks ago for my Atlanta trip (go Braves!) and need [del]a second[/del] an additional key, I have to buy it from Nissan for whatever they want to charge me for it. Probably _considerably_ more than $5, I’m guessing. Is it easier? Sure. That’s the carrot. But that’s not the reason the car companies are doing it. ETA: changed “a second” to “an additional” because I’m sure someone will point out “they come with two!” ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/63 "2012-08-15T13:39:00Z")
Hmm… I don’t have and have never tried a car using a FOB but they always seemed like a nice idea. Why do I have to find a place to set my keys inside the car when I never have to take them out of my pocket in the first place? I’m usually juggling a cup of coffee and a cellphone anyway so it’d be nice not to have to fumble with keys. And unless you’re talking about cars with hatchbacks or tailgates, don’t you typically always need a key to open a car trunk anyways? ---
**Author:** ![Darryl\_Lict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@Darryl\_Lict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darryl_Lict)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/64 "2012-08-15T13:56:49Z")
> [@california\_jobcase](#): > > There have been many products that try to fix a problem that doesn’t exist. Back in the nineties, some company tried selling canned fruit juice concentrate that was shelf stable, so people wouldn’t have to wait for the frozen kind to thaw any more. Shelf stable cranberry juice concentrate used to be my go to camping juice. I’m completely bummed that it’s no longer common. It makes it much more of a hassle to make Burning Man Cape Cods. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/65 "2012-08-15T13:58:59Z")
> [@AaronX](#): > > Huh? It seems all the examples here force users to pay attention where their keys are. They don’t force users to pay attention ,they only punish users in unusual circumstances. With a real key, the operation of the car causes you to know where the keys are. With a fob, the only thing you know is that the fob was in the vicinity of the car when it was started. You don’t know where it is, who has it. It could be in your purse, in your pocket, in the passenger’s purse/pocket, it could have fallen out of your pocket when you got change at the drive thru, it could have been on the roof when you drove away this morning, and is now under a bush somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/66 "2012-08-15T14:26:56Z")
> [@AWB](#): > > **Car autolock:** When I bought a Mazda Protege ('98), the alarm/security system came with an autolock. About 10 seconds after starting, all the door locks would lock down. It would’ve been useful if I lived in a neighborhood where carjackings were extremely commonplace (like every street corner). Instead, it was a pain in the butt on at least three occasions. > > a) Living in DC area (Maryland actually) in the winter, I liked to pre-warm my car before driving to work. I would usually wait the 10 seconds, hear the doors lock, then unlock them, get out, and go back in the house for about 5 minutes. But a couple of times, something was on my mind, and I’d get out of the car before the locks engaged. I’d shut the door to keep the warm air in, then _CHUNK_! The doors were locked. I had to climb through a window to my living room that I had fortunately left unlatched, but not before wrecking the hell out of the screen that covered it. It was also a window that was about 7 feet off the ground (mobile home). > > b) Still living in Maryland, my family and I were visiting friends in Manassas, VA. At about 9 pm, I go out to warm the car before my wife and baby came out. I’m still talking to my friend as we go out to my car. I start it and get out, but leave the door open until I hear the locks engage. But before I can unlock them, my friend shuts my door for me. ☹ > > He then drives me the 35 miles back to my house in Maryland, where I use my wife’s house key (sadly, she didn’t have the spare _car_ key) to get the spare car key, then back again to open my now-very-warmed up car. Check your owners manual. There may be a way to disable this autolock feature by some combination of pushing buttons, turning the key on and off and reciting voodoo incantations. ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/67 "2012-08-15T16:08:33Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > They don’t force users to pay attention ,they only punish users in unusual circumstances. > > With a real key, the operation of the car causes you to know where the keys are. With a fob, the only thing you know is that the fob was in the vicinity of the car when it was started. You don’t know where it is, who has it. It could be in your purse, in your pocket, in the passenger’s purse/pocket, it could have fallen out of your pocket when you got change at the drive thru, it could have been on the roof when you drove away this morning, and is now under a bush somewhere. Precisely why it forces people to keep track of their keys. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/68 "2012-08-15T16:10:07Z")
> [@grude](#): > > Many years ago my mother bought a pricey but nice washing machine, all the floor models above a minimum price point that year had digital controls some with touch pads and LCDs. > > Three goddamn times she had to pay to repair or replace the digital panel and the chips because guess what? A washing machine left in a non-AC wet and humid garage with electronics vital to operating it CORRODES! Once anything went wrong with the panel or chips the machine was useless. > > When she went shopping again years after that? Washing machines were all even in the high end once again purely mechanical, it was like they had gone backward. > > Totally useless high technology. That reminds me of [“smart” fridges.](http://imgur.com/gallery/rWy9J) ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/69 "2012-08-15T17:06:32Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Hmm.. > I don’t have and have never tried a car using a FOB but they always seemed like a nice idea. Why do I have to find a place to set my keys inside the car when I never have to take them out of my pocket in the first place? > I’m usually juggling a cup of coffee and a cellphone anyway so it’d be nice not to have to fumble with keys. > And unless you’re talking about cars with hatchbacks or tailgates, don’t you typically always need a key to open a car trunk anyways? The Fob requires that you press a button to unlock the door, so you’re going to be fumbling with the thing regardless. Assuming you lock your car doors, of course. If you never lock your car doors (where do you live, anyway, to feel that secure? 😉 ) then the FOB makes slightly better sense. Until you drop off your SO with the keys on their person… then it makes no damned sense at all. No, you don’t need keys to open hatchbacks/tailgates. You press a (manual) button or a (manual) latch. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/70 "2012-08-15T17:08:51Z")
> [@AaronX](#): > > Precisely why it forces people to keep track of their keys. But this makes no sense. I keep track of my keys in the original setup, why is a FOB a better method of “tracking my keys”? Why is “keeping track of keys” so important an issue that car makers decided I needed to be “taught” a lesson in the importance of this (as the tone of your posts implies)? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/71 "2012-08-15T17:26:05Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > This shouldn’t require too much thought: keyless ignition is simply a way for the car company to make more money off you. If I lose … or even let’s just say I needed [del]a second[/del] an additional key to my old '78 Corolla, I could go to the hardware store and have one made for like $5. > > Then came proprietary keys. > > Then came chip-implanted keys. > > Now, if I bought a car like the 2012 Sentra I rented a couple of weeks ago for my Atlanta trip (go Braves!) and need [del]a second[/del] an additional key, I have to buy it from Nissan for whatever they want to charge me for it. Probably _considerably_ more than $5, I’m guessing. > > Is it easier? Sure. That’s the carrot. But that’s not the reason the car companies are doing it. > > ETA: changed “a second” to “an additional” because I’m sure someone will point out “they come with two!” It’s around $200 to replace a “smart” key. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/72 "2012-08-15T17:52:57Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > The Fob requires that you press a button to unlock the door, so you’re going to be fumbling with the thing regardless. Assuming you lock your car doors, of course. Well, that’s kind of dumb then. Why don’t they make them so when you get in proximity of a door the locks pop open? Get out of the proximity and the doors automatically lock. You’d think the pupose would be to never have the FOB leave your pocket. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/73 "2012-08-15T17:59:05Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > It’s around $200 to replace a “smart” key. I suspected as much but didn’t want to WAG. And you have to pay it to the dealer. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/74 "2012-08-15T18:01:23Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Well, that’s kind of dumb then. Why don’t they make them so when you get in proximity of a door the locks pop open? Get out of the proximity and the doors automatically lock. You’d think the pupose would be to never have the FOB leave your pocket. Precisely. You do everything as you’ve been trained to do, right until the moment you start the car. And you’ll do it with your keys in your hand because you’ve been doing it that way every day of your driving life. With the keys in my hand, I then have to unbuckle the seat belt, stretch out in my seat so I could reach into my pockets, put the keys in there, and then rebuckle. But at least I know where my keys are!!! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/75 "2012-08-15T18:05:58Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > [Monkey bread](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey_bread) is made with [fridge biscuits.](http://www.grocerycouponguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/free-Pillsbury-grand-biscuits-400x271.jpg) (AKA whomp biscuits for how you peel the label off then whomp them against the edge of the counter to pop the can open) > > It’s so easy to make that having a ready-made frozen version is like selling pre-peeled bananas as a convenience item. Obviously you have never seen the level of incompetence some people are capable of reaching when it comes to cooking. We regularly have a pre-cooked frozen monkey bread in our freezer. My grandfather-in-law is fond of having it with coffee. Allowing him to do ANYTHING in the kitchen only results in broken plates and spills all over the floor. The frozen stuff does save time (a small amount, but we consider it worth the extra cost). ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/76 "2012-08-15T18:33:45Z")
This is the only useless consumer product I could think of. Not quite in the same league as the banana guard and slicer, but useless none-the-less. [HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.](http://www.headon.com/) ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/77 "2012-08-15T18:34:04Z")
I won’t go so far as to say having a lantern around the house is useless, but I will have to say that the ad campaign for the “Olde Brooklyn Lantern” is clearly aimed at morons. “Don’t keep flashlights around, they never work when you need them … get the Olde Brooklyn Lantern because it’s got a really bright light!” WTF does that have to do with working when you need it? Does its really bright light not run on batteries, too? And my favorite idiotic thing they say about it: “Made from genuine metal!” ---
**Author:** ![Orionizer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orionizer/32/4442_2.png) [@Orionizer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orionizer)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/78 "2012-08-15T18:57:39Z")
My keyless cars have an audio alarm if the key is taken away from the car while it’s running. My MINI would alert you with a sound as well as a key with a slash through it on the display. My Kia has an alarm that sounds for about 10-15 seconds (I’ve left someone in the car with it running while I went into a store). You definitely won’t be dropping someone off and leave without the keys without knowing it, at least on these 2 cars. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/79 "2012-08-15T19:21:40Z")
The car I rented was a Nissan Altima. I did not remove the key while the car was… wait, I did. Left the car running when I ran back into the house - I kept the FOB to see if the car would turn off or something (it’s about a 100-ft distance) and nothing happened: car was still running when I came back, no sound from the FOB (don’t know if the car made a warning sound, though), etc. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/80 "2012-08-15T19:30:51Z")
Can you still buy those useless stick-on pads for your feet? They draw out mysterious “toxins” that might kill you! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139.md?page=5)