# Useless consumer products **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 11, 2012, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139 "2012-08-11T01:25:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Orionizer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orionizer/32/4442_2.png) [@Orionizer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orionizer)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/81 "2012-08-15T19:34:18Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > The car I rented was a Nissan Altima. I did not remove the key while the car was… wait, I did. Left the car running when I ran back into the house - I kept the FOB to see if the car would turn off or something (it’s about a 100-ft distance) and nothing happened: car was still running when I came back, no sound from the FOB (don’t know if the car made a warning sound, though), etc. Both of mine would leave the car running (I sometimes leave the car warming up for the minute it takes me to take the garbage down to the street). Neither alerted on the FOB, only the car itself. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/82 "2012-08-15T19:57:59Z")
Lots of people here clearly have no clue about how proximity keys work. Picture this you are approaching you locked car in the rain with two hands full of bags from the store. Which is easier A) put the bags down in the puddle so you can dig you keys out to unlock the door or B) rejuggle everything to get your keys out Or C) reach out with one pinky and pull slightly on the door handle ( or trunk handle) and have it open About the car remaining running when you walk away. Not a bug a feature. If the car died with the key outside it some doorknob would let the key get out of the car, drive away, car dies and accident occurs and car maker gets sued. Lastly worried about leaving you key on the roof? Don’t. Car won’t start with the key outside the passenger compartment. And if you put the key on the roof after the car is running and then ignore the warning tone and warning light then you are an idiot and will get to pay a stupidity tax for the new key. I have yet to meet a fob key owner that wants to go back to a standard key. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/83 "2012-08-15T20:05:03Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Car won’t start with the key outside the passenger compartment… Not true with the Altima according to my tests. You can have the door open, the key outside, and the car starts. FYI, not too sure if you count people on the internet “people you have met”, but pleased to meet you - my name is JohnT and I much prefer keys to FOBs. Of course, I live in San Antonio, TX so that your example with the rain… well, it’s not a worry here. 😉 (And you seem to have missed the part where I still had to use the FOB to manually unlock the car - it just doesn’t unlock merely because I’m standing next to it, I still have to put the thing in my hand and press the button. So, regardless, I still have to “rejuggle” everything.) ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/84 "2012-08-15T20:08:44Z")
Have you ever had the problem of buying those bunny-shaped Marshmallow Peeps that come in packs of like 12 or 18, only to find that the last 3 have become hopelessly stale because you couldn’t eat them fast enough? [Then THIS product is for you!](http://www.ebay.com/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&_trksid=p4340.l2557&item=250411466633&nma=true&rt=nc&si=jjaeCCFJw3u1T6kXx5wi3Jtv9xo%253D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc#ht_1437wt_1397) That’s right, a set of 3 bunny-shaped Peeps containers. Sadly, I actually have this product, someone bought it for me thinking I would love it. I have never opened the package and I laugh every time I see it. ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/85 "2012-08-15T20:38:35Z")
> [@Dragwyr](#): > > This is the only useless consumer product I could think of. Not quite in the same league as the banana guard and slicer, but useless none-the-less. > > [HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.](http://www.headon.com/) I notice the page doesn’t even say what this product is supposed to do; they have somehow gotten smart. You should apply it to your forehead like this: :smack: :smack: :smack: From the site: > [@](#): > > Is HeadOn® safe to use? > HeadOn® is one of the safest medications available on the market today. It can be used by anyone and as often as needed. There are no dosage restrictions or health risks associated with its use. See Drug Facts on product package. It’s as safe as Oscillococcinum! ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/86 "2012-08-15T20:55:00Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Have you ever had the problem of buying those bunny-shaped Marshmallow Peeps that come in packs of like 12 or 18, only to find that the last 3 have become hopelessly stale because you couldn’t eat them fast enough? [Then THIS product is for you!](http://www.ebay.com/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&_trksid=p4340.l2557&item=250411466633&nma=true&rt=nc&si=jjaeCCFJw3u1T6kXx5wi3Jtv9xo%253D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc#ht_1437wt_1397) That’s right, a set of 3 bunny-shaped Peeps containers. > > Sadly, I actually have this product, someone bought it for me thinking I would love it. I have never opened the package and I laugh every time I see it. I wouldn’t buy that to hold Peeps, but I might use it as a rice ball mold or to hold a handful of snacks in my lunch bag. (I’m thinking some carrots or a handful m&m’s) ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/87 "2012-08-15T23:43:46Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Ironically, CVS has a whole isle devoted to junk “As seen in TV”-you might as well just throw your money away. But, but, but don’t you know “As seen on TV” is Swahili for “useless piece of crap” Seriously, what is the purpose behind this logo, as what it really means is that the manufacturer paid some money to advertise in a particular medium? I’ve never seen the “As seen in your local paper” or “as seen on some internet banner ad” logo. Also, one local maul had an entire _store_ that was “As seen on TV”. > [@kayaker](#): > > See your banana guard and raise with [a banana slicer.](http://www.amazon.com/Stuff-Deals-57l-Hutzler-Banana/dp/B000MSA9AQ) Oh come on, since bananas are _so_ hard to slice, it probably saves about 5 seconds of cutting - but adds about 2 mins of cleanup to get the inside of all of the squares as opposed to washing just one knife; which can also be used for other purposes. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![JLRogers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ce73a5/32.png) [@JLRogers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JLRogers)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/88 "2012-08-16T04:49:45Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > [disposable diapers have the same environmental impact as reusable diapers when the effect of laundering cloth diapers is taken into account.](http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=789465&page=1#.UCuVoqDSqXs) As the article itself notes if you read past the first page the studies have been criticized for poor methodology. I’m not about to go find the published studies and read them for the sake of debate, but neither am I willing to concede that the conclusions necessarily square with reality. Even if we assume that cloth diapers and disposables are environmentally equivalent, the other benefits I noted are sufficient to make disposables useless for those of us who able to operate a washing machine. ---
**Author:** ![FoundWaldo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@FoundWaldo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoundWaldo)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/89 "2012-08-16T05:22:37Z")
> [@Orionizer](#): > > My keyless cars have an audio alarm if the key is taken away from the car while it’s running. > > My MINI would alert you with a sound as well as a key with a slash through it on the display. Yes. This is what pisses me off about this argument. People are claiming problems with the product while obviously never having used it to any real extent. I’ve owned several cars with a keyless entry/ignition feature, and also rented a number. I’ve never seen one that didn’t make it blatantly obvious if the key leaves the car after it has started. There would be no way to not know this (or if you didn’t notice the audible and visible alarm, you shouldn’t be driving anyway). Also, as others said, no I don’t have to fish the key out of my bag to open the door. I just lift the handle and it unlocks. When I leave, I lightly touch the handle and it locks. I quite literally never have to handle my car key, and I like it that way. There is no issue with not being aware of where my key is. It’s always in the same place (my bag), not on whatever table or counter I set it down on when I walked in the door, or whatever jacket I last wore. And the car would let me know if it wasn’t where it needed to be - if I didn’t have it when I got to the car, I couldn’t open the door or start the car. And if it somehow left the car after starting, it will beep and show a message on the dash. This is not rocket science. There are legitimate reasons not to like this feature if that’s what you want to do – for example it does cost more, and the replacement keys are expensive. So why the need to make up reasons? ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/90 "2012-08-16T08:17:14Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > But this makes no sense. I keep track of my keys in the original setup, why is a FOB a better method of “tracking my keys”? Why is “keeping track of keys” so important an issue that car makers decided I needed to be “taught” a lesson in the importance of this (as the tone of your posts implies)? Sorry, that post was replying to Cheesesteak. But as people have mentioned, all you have to think about when using the fobs is “is the key on my person/bag?” You don’t need to take it out. You don’t need to press any buttons on it. You do, however, need to pay attention that the car is starting because YOU, the driver, is in possession of the key, not because of the spare in your passenger’s purse, or the key’s on the roof. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/91 "2012-08-16T10:24:33Z")
> [@AaronX](#): > > You do, however, need to pay attention that the car is starting because YOU, the driver, is in possession of the key, not because of the spare in your passenger’s purse, or the key’s on the roof. This isn’t exactly something you can “pay attention” to. Let’s say, like my dad, you put the wrong key in your pocket. Once you make that mistake, there is no way to discover the error, without pulling the keys out of your pocket, which defeats the purpose of an automatic fob. The car starts up with the passenger’s fob, you can’t tell the difference. This actually happened, this technology was a key factor (heh) in my father getting stranded. Now he was fortunate that he was close-ish to his home when he got stranded. It could just as easily have happened the next town over when he dropped my mom off at the bus station. He stays until she leaves on the bus, waves good bye and can’t get back into the car. It’s the sort of thing that is simply not a problem with standard keys. Rick, the key on the roof thing was not a personal anecdote, but one I read about in a car magazine. Seems that the magazine guys would put keys on the roof when exchanging cars during test drives, and this new technology caused them some problems. I also have zero issue with proximity door locks, that is useful. My problem is with proximity based push button start/stop. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/92 "2012-08-16T11:53:45Z")
I would like to complain about a different feature: Auto_un_locking doors, like on my '95 Ford Festiva. I get out of my car, grab my stuff, mash the lock button on the door, and swing the door shut. Then I take my car key, and lock the doors again since they all just popped themselves unlocked. I get _why_ this feature exists, having locked myself out of my car like 4 times in my adult life, but it still irks me. The solution, BTW, is to close the door with the handle pulled, which somehow evades this function. Something I saw at the store that my wife liked and I thought was silly: The easy meatloaf pan. It’s a pan, shaped appropriately for meatloaf… with a metal tray that lined the bottom with handles sticking out at the ends. You load up the loaf, bake it, and then pull it out by lifting up the pan. Or, do what I always saw people do, and just shape the loaf and let it sit on the pan to be scooped up with a spatula or sliced in place. Similarly, the “All Crusts” labyrinth molds I’ve seen for lasagna and brownies. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/93 "2012-08-16T11:57:41Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > I would like to complain about a different feature: Auto_un_locking doors, like on my '95 Ford Festiva. I get out of my car, grab my stuff, mash the lock button on the door, and swing the door shut. > > Then I take my car key, and lock the doors again since they all just popped themselves unlocked. . My mom used to hate this feature, she had a car where when you turn off the engine all four doors unlock. It is like a carjacker or criminals dream, you park in a unlit area and before you can even gather your stuff every door pops open. She started waiting until she was ready to leave the car instantly to kill the engine, which just wastes gas. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/94 "2012-08-16T13:00:30Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > Similarly, the “All Crusts” labyrinth molds I’ve seen for lasagna and brownies. FTR, America’s Test Kitchen loves those things. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/95 "2012-08-16T13:08:53Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > FTR, America’s Test Kitchen loves those things. Good for them, Raguleader’s Kitchen looks down our nose at such silliness.🆒 ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/96 "2012-08-16T13:41:54Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > This isn’t exactly something you can “pay attention” to. Let’s say, like my dad, you put the wrong key in your pocket. Once you make that mistake, there is no way to discover the error, without pulling the keys out of your pocket, which defeats the purpose of an automatic fob. The car starts up with the passenger’s fob, you can’t tell the difference. > > This actually happened, this technology was a key factor (heh) in my father getting stranded. Now he was fortunate that he was close-ish to his home when he got stranded. It could just as easily have happened the next town over when he dropped my mom off at the bus station. He stays until she leaves on the bus, waves good bye and can’t get back into the car. > > It’s the sort of thing that is simply not a problem with standard keys. No, it’s not. But accidentally locking my keys in the car isn’t a problem with a fob. Because the fob never leaves my bag, and I never forget that. And I believe the doors would unlock even if I did somehow accidentally lock the fob in the car. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/97 "2012-08-16T13:45:20Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > About the car remaining running when you walk away. Not a bug a feature. If the car died with the key outside it some doorknob would let the key get out of the car, drive away, car dies and accident occurs and car maker gets sued. Suppose the car is left running while it is in “park” and the fob leaves the vehicle. Can the vehicle be put in “drive” or “reverse” without the fob being present? ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/98 "2012-08-16T13:46:02Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > I have two Bananaguards in my bag right now. I cycle to work, carrying lunch and a change of clothes in a rucksack, and let me tell you, a naked banana under those conditions is not a pretty sight by the time I get to work. I think they’re great, and they _work exactly as advertised_ but obviously you’re not in the target market! I understand that putting a bunch of clothes on top of a banana could squish it, but if I were in that situation I would either (a) make sure that my banana was on top of my change of clothes rather than vice versa or (b) buy a lunch box that could protect an entire lunch rather than protecting each piece of food individually. They do look kind of neat, though. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/99 "2012-08-16T14:02:58Z")
Again, all this talk about FOBs is really ignoring my original question: What problems are the things meant to solve? Which brings up a corollary: Are these problems severe enough to warrant the host of problems users are having with the things? Reaching for your keys in the rain is not an adequate-enough “problem” that needed solving with a solution that compels people to reeducate themselves on a habit they’ve developed years, decades prior. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139/100 "2012-08-16T14:09:01Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Again, all this talk about FOBs is really ignoring my original question: > > What problems are the things meant to solve? > > . Probably the same problem electronic controls on a washing machine was meant to solve, which is none. My best guess is it looks cool so one company tries it, then the competition copies them not wanting to be left out in the cold. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-consumer-products/631139.md?page=6)