# Useless Frickin' Resume Advice **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 24, 2009, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417 "2009-12-24T04:36:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/21 "2009-12-24T20:44:16Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > If a truly superior executive assistant is doing her job no one notices because everything goes like clockwork. It’s only when the shit hits the fan that her efforts are noticed. EA’s are like plumbing - ignored until they stop working. The accomplishments go on the boss’s resume. Bingo. My job is to make my boss look better and smarter and more on top of it than he actually is, left to his own devices. And that, my friends, is priceless. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/22 "2009-12-24T22:03:28Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > That’s a little harsh. Not every job is an opportunity for intellectual and personal growth, but somebody still has to do those jobs. And some people are happy to do them, not because they’re “robots”, but because work isn’t where they get their intellectual and personal growth, it’s where they get their money. :dubious: The OP seems too smart to just do the same thing over and over, or at least he/she is bored with it. That’s a good thing. > [@](#): > > Frankly, my experience leans more toward “God save us all from the receptionist who thinks she’s figured out a “better” way to do what we’ve told her to do.” Not that I’m against finding a better way, but maybe ASK FIRST, there might be a \*reason \*we do it this way, one that you can’t see with the view from your cube. Sure, definitely ask. And lots of people new to jobs write up something about the way it ought to be before finding out why it is that way. I did that myself. But the next step is coming up with new ideas that might actually work. Each of us brings a unique perspective, and none of us know that something obvious to us might be a revelation to someone without our experience. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/23 "2009-12-24T22:22:16Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > I mean, what am I supposed to say? “Well, when I started with my boss he was your garden-variety middle-manager, and when I left he was a partner. Try doing that with an inadequate assistant.” I’ve known some really good admins who are looking out for things that they can do to relieve the burden on people who should be doing something else. That saves real money. In a lot of cases anecdotes are more powerful than numbers. Back in the days when you didn’t have to be a VP to have an admin, I could tell the difference between a creative one and a dull one. The admin of my old boss, who was then the manager of our big factory in Denver, made hotel reservations for me at Stapledon in the face of an oncoming blizzard. Thanks to her I slept in a room that night, not in a chair at the airport. He made it a practice of always introducing himself to the admin of the person he was visiting first, and I followed his example. I’m convinced that there is room for creativity in any job. I’m not saying those who aren’t are bad or should be fired - just that in this environment, creativity is an edge that we all need. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/24 "2009-12-24T22:26:05Z")
> [@Long\_Time\_First\_Time](#): > > Sounds like you brainstormed ways to improve efficiency of operations with co-workers and supervisors. > > Also like you (reluctantly and with a great deal of bitterness) instituted the changes these brain storming sessions came up with that were designed to improve efficiency. That’s the way to put it. And someone at Microsoft invented shortcuts for a reason. Maybe \*\*Two Many Cats \*\* doesn’t need them, but someone new to the job might find them very handy. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/25 "2009-12-24T22:27:09Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > Thank you, I’m here all week. Tip your waitress! Shouldn’t that be tit your waitress? (Tip size is directly proportional to breast size?) ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/26 "2009-12-24T22:29:40Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > “Tweak your resume to put yourself in the best possible light and spotlight your strengths, quantifying your results if possible” is one thing. But “list your accomplishments, with numbers” isn’t always possible - or always good advice. The purpose of the resume is for you to get an interview, so putting numbers on it is either going to elicit disbelief or concern about spewing proprietary information. I’ve never seen a resume with numbers - unless it would be connected to some kind of public reward. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2009, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/27 "2009-12-24T22:49:44Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > I guess it was that mindless paper shuffling that got me “Employee of the Year” twice. > > And yes, that’s on the resume. Excellent! And unless they throw darts to give out that award, I bet there is something you did to get it, which goes on the resume also. Which is exactly what the advice you objected to says. I’ve seen many people downplay their creativity, because they think that if they came up with something it can’t be all that special. Good policy with friends, bad on a resume. ---
**Author:** ![Dusty\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ba8739/32.png) [@Dusty\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dusty_Rose)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/28 "2009-12-25T02:01:21Z")
I hate when we get resumes that say “I increased sales by 30%” or whatever. I have no way to verify that information, and it always strikes me as padding. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/29 "2009-12-25T02:14:16Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Excellent! And unless they throw darts to give out that award, I bet there is something you did to get it, which goes on the resume also. Which is exactly what the advice you objected to says. I’ve seen many people downplay their creativity, because they think that if they came up with something it can’t be all that special. Good policy with friends, bad on a resume. I thank you for your compliments. But I got the awards for showing up everyday and working my ass off in general. Perhaps I should phrase that as “My material presence topped out at an 97% actuality rate, and my efforts resulted in a 56% lessening of posterior elements.” ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/30 "2009-12-25T03:15:21Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > I mean, what am I supposed to say? “Well, when I started with my boss he was your garden-variety middle-manager, and when I left he was a partner. Try doing that with an inadequate assistant.” Actually, to me that sounds like a really good thing to say. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/31 "2009-12-26T23:40:48Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Although I _do_ have that one year I reduced shipping by 40%… I did that last year. I called it 'being proactive". My boss called it “losing 40% of the orders.” Some people lack vision. hh ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/32 "2009-12-26T23:46:47Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > I’m sorry if this rant isn’t profane enough for the Pit, but I’m just too tired to care right now. > > So, I was watching the news and they said they would have a segment on writing an effective resume, and since I’m looking for work I decided to pay close attention. > > Basically the whole bit (it was a short filler bit) was you have to make your resume so that it tells your prospective employer what you can do especially for him or her. > > “Instead of your skills or experience, list your accomplishments. What did you do that saved your prior employer money or time? What did you change about your job that improved productivity? How much time or money did you save, by what percentage? Be specific!” > > Apparently, these people have never worked in the trenches of the real world in their lives. In every job I’ve worked there were set procedures that you followed. In mine, it was gather the invoices, check them over, and enter them, age them, and pay them. Month after month, year after year. That was it. The only way to save time was to work faster or take unpaid overtime. (Which I did when necessary.) The only way to save money was to make sure the discounts were timely met. That was just part of the job and certainly wasn’t kept track of by percentage studies. Specific percentages? I’d have to pull numbers out of my ass. Not everybody in every job keeps fucking efficiency reports on themselves. We’re too busy doing the real work. > > I wasn’t in any position to change procedures. There wasn’t any point to changing them. The bosses didn’t give a shit about procedures. They just wanted the work in on time and correctly done. Which I did. For years. > > Jesus, I thought I was a good employee by just showing up everyday, doing my job well, and complaining as little as possible. Now I have to be a goddamn consultant too? I think that the humor of the stupid advice is that it’s being written by reporters. What do reporters put on their resumes? “Saved 40 words per column.” “Got the police to give me information that it was illegal for them to give.” “Saw an increase of guts in car wrecks.” Also, the part about 'leaving off your skills and experience." That’s great. A hospital wants a guy that can save money, not somebody that knows how to do surgeries and stuff. Everybody needs a dilletante, not somebody with experience and skill. I still love the great reporters that say to put in your 'career objective." You can generally tell that these guys are dredging up old columns. hh ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/33 "2009-12-27T06:37:45Z")
Ever read a newspaper article about something that you were already very interested in or involved in? There is almost always some sort of error or inaccuracy. This just makes me realize that all the articles about things that I don’t know so much about likely have these sorts of errors as well. I think we’ve found that here. I’ve got a job much like yours–kind of boring, not world-shaking, and best way I know to save my employer money is to _not screw up_. How much time and money did I save by putting stock in the location that I entered into the computer instead of a totally different shelf? Well, I guess quite a bit, because when stuff isn’t where we think it is and we have to search for it, it wastes time and money. How much? Who’s to say? It depends on how hard it was to find it, I guess. **handsomeharry** , if I reduced shipping by 40%, I’d be fired. If I increased shipping by 40%, they’d just say, “Well, it wasn’t all _you_, was it?” ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417/34 "2009-12-27T14:25:42Z")
Can I clarify? I didn’t _reduce shipping_, I reduced _shipping costs_ - same amount of stuff shipped for 40% less money. Now I have to go check me resume to make sure I stated that clearly! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-frickin-resume-advice/522417.md?page=1)